My Adventures With Isodia the Imperial on Skyrim
I wanted to write about this re-upload..
In (I believe) November of 2019, I decided to start a YouTube journey. I had been wanting to make videos since I was in elementary school, but never was quite sure what kind of videos I wanted to make. Around my birthday in November, I decided that I wanted to just make content that made me happy. Make things that my fiance, as well as myself would enjoy watching over and over again.
I decided that my main content would be Elder Scrolls. Specifically, Skyrim! I discovered this game a few years back when we bought an Xbox 360 from our best friend that had a few games with it. I never was a huge console gamer, but this one just stuck out to me. This led me to play the Xbox for 2 days straight with every little sleep, seeing a draugr in the kitchen, and trying to kill a dragon in the backyard. (Turns out the draugr was my fiances sister Pam, and the dragon was just a bird.) This started a journey with gaming that I never knew could exist! I had always loved gaming, but this was a different type of love. The following year when I got my income tax money, I bought myself a new laptop and Skyrim on Steam. After hours of modding, testing, and playing I came across this Christmas mod. Santanism. Not to be mistaken by Satanism, this is a mod where you summon Santa Clause.
I had SO much trouble uploading this mod. I tried to film it on Christmas Eve, that did not happen due to technical issues. I was not home but maybe two hours on Christmas day, and then after I was so drained it took a couple days to get it together and film. However, after 4 hours of footage, 3 hours of editing, and some tears I got it up and It was one of my absolute favorite videos I have ever created. So, below I am including the Santanism mod video as well as my very first Skyrim video ever. There, you will be able to see how my Imperial Isodia got to be as great as she is.
(Note: Make sure you watch til the end of the Santanism video. Id like for you to dirty your pants, too.)
My very first Skyrim video, ever.
Yes, I am very awkward.
I realize the amount of utter awkwardness that is presented in the second video. I was nervous, not sure if anyone, including my fiance, would even like my content. 13 subscribers later, I am feeling so much better about posting and have so much more confidence in myself. I have roughly 31 videos posted so far, and plan to keep posted daily to every other day.
I have honestly found this to be a form of self care. Years ago I lost my grandfather and was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. Of the two, my anxiety rears its ugly head the most often. Right now, with all the trouble in the Middle East, its peaking. Skyrim is my escape. I can play and suddenly, I am no longer Katie. I am Isodia the Imperial Shield Maiden. And I can kill some bandits, loot some giants and then I am okay. I don't have to worry about the problems I have because I am in Tamriel. Even for just a short while, I feel okay.
That may sounds utterly stupid or ridiculous but we all have our ways of coping. It is much better than what I had when I was younger. I would just bottle it all up til I literally exploded with anger. Now, I just talk to my fiance, he helps me through it and we play video games.
If anyone reading this is struggling right now, please believe me that you will be okay. Someone out there cares about you enough to listen to your problems and maybe help you.
Feast your eyes on a photo of me posing for a thumbnail
This is a photo of me having the time of my life, posing for a thumbnail for a story-time on my channel.
When I tell you that YouTube has helped me in more ways than I can count, I am not exaggerating. When I am filming, when I am editing, or even while it is uploading, I escape.
I don't worry about money. I dont worry if we will have enough food to last us. I don't worry about bills. I don't worry about world events. I don't worry I am not good enough or that I will never make it in life. I just don't worry.
I encourage you today to just do one thing that makes you happy. For me, it is making videos. Maybe for you it is taking a hot bath. Maybe it is baking a cake. Or maybe you like going for a walk. Just do it today, make yourself happy today.
Have a great one, guys.