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PS Vita and a toilet

Updated on November 8, 2012
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No, this isn't a thread about how the PS Vita sucks, and how the only thing it's good for is toilet paper. I actually like the little guy, sure it's not the best thing since sliced bread, but it has it's moments.

My Vita has become like my Wii, kind of just sitting around waiting for that special game to play. It's like a CoD camper, it just waits there, not moving a muscle until I walk by, then it's plow...how do you like me now.

Well, this past weekend I was given Resistance: Burning Skies, just because people knew how much I enjoyed the series on the PS3. At first I just put it aside not really giving it a second thought, but then for some strange reason as I was laying in bed staring at the ceiling I figured I would give it a try.

While playing the game, my stomach felt as if it was bubbling over...kind of like a witches cauldron...so I had to make a mad dash to the crapper, of course with the Vita still in my hands.

As I sat there dropping off the goods, I was playing Resistance the whole time, not aware of how much time had passed. Once I snapped back into reality and realized I was sitting in my own funk for what must have been twenty minutes or so, I was ready to move on.

I placed my Vita on the shelf and started taking care of business. When everything was all cleaned out, I attempted to stand up...but with my legs not having any feeling in them since sat so long, it didn't work out as planned. I almost crashed into the shower but luckily was able to grab onto the sink and hold myself up until I regained feeling back into my legs.

So the moral of this story is, don't game on the toilet unless you have a spotter...and don't touch my Vita when you come over, unless you're wearing gloves.

Michael

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    • MichaelJohnMele profile image
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      Michael John Mele 4 years ago from Seffner, Florida

      @Cantuhearmescream I know exactly what you mean...mobile Hub Pages sucks donkey. Let me know what you think if you get around to checking it out.

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image

      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      Oh, I am so deeply touched, I will be sure to look for you and add you accordingly. I still have to get over to your page, I really plan on getting there before the night is over. I was away from home most of the day today and I can't stand using HP on my phone!

    • MichaelJohnMele profile image
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      Michael John Mele 4 years ago from Seffner, Florida

      @Cantuhearmescream I'm so sorry my dear...it will never happen again...my bad. I just added you on Facebook, Twitter and Google +...because you freaking rock and I want to support you.

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image

      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      Michael,

      It's okay, I just figured you figured that if you stopped talking to me I would go away. I stared at your page for about 2 hours and then figure I would start looking pathetic if I didn't move on.

    • MichaelJohnMele profile image
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      Michael John Mele 4 years ago from Seffner, Florida

      @Cantuhearmescream I am so sorry...it will never happen again...please forgive me. I will be your slave for a week now...to make up for it...your wish is my command. I hate to see a lady cry...it breaks my heart.

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image

      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      Well gee, it would've been nice for you to share your multitasking skills with me last night... 'stead I went to bed cryin'.

    • MichaelJohnMele profile image
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      Michael John Mele 4 years ago from Seffner, Florida

      @Cantuhearmescream don't worry about me my friend...I can multitask.

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image

      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      Alright, well I don't want you to cut it off from my distractions. Go in peace my friend!

    • MichaelJohnMele profile image
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      Michael John Mele 4 years ago from Seffner, Florida

      @Cantuhearmescream a tablet...of course...and I have the Vita right by my side.

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image

      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      You better be using an Iphone or tablet or something?

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image

      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      You are not!

    • MichaelJohnMele profile image
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      Michael John Mele 4 years ago from Seffner, Florida

      @Cantuhearmescream just be glad you can't smell what I'm dealing...it's nasty.

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image

      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      I thought you were headed to the bathroom with old faithful? Don't tell me you're doing your business with a laptop on your lap? I mean I know their called a LAPtop and everything, but just because it's a portable electronical device doesn't mean it's appropriate for the bathroom. Hell, ya might as well install a steering wheel if you can do all that on the potty.

    • MichaelJohnMele profile image
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      Michael John Mele 4 years ago from Seffner, Florida

      @Cantuhearmescream girl live...and think...outside the box...the norm is boring and lame.

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image

      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      Yeah, but I'm a girl. I'm not supposed to poop. Or poop and tell anyway. :-)

      It's not my fault I was given a girl's body? So unfair!

    • MichaelJohnMele profile image
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      Michael John Mele 4 years ago from Seffner, Florida

      @Cantuhearmescream girl don't sweat it...if people don't respect you for being honest and gaming on the crapper...then you don't need them. I personally love it...and I'm not afraid to admit it...as a matter-of-fact I'm getting ready to hit the pooper and I have my Vita all set to go.

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image

      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      Okay, I'll probably lose a follower or at least respect for even responding to this hub, but I couldn't resist. Yes, I have one of those cheesy smiling-in-front-of-the-computer screen things going on right now. You know, the kind that you'd be embarrassed to have a member of your family round the corner and see you smiling at an electronical device? Now that I looked around to see nobody's watching me, I can't say I can relate to your newest technology. I'm not allowed to touch my kids' 3DS because I used to disappear into the bathroom with the Gameboy SP and not return for a half an hour. Unlike you, I took the Gameboy into the bathroom intentionally for the mission. It's much easier to hold while doing your business than a newspaper is it not? Unfortunately, long after I would finish, I would stay, sitting until I beat the level. Yes, I know all to well what it is like to lose the feeling in your legs and have a red ring on your ... :-0

    • MichaelJohnMele profile image
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      Michael John Mele 4 years ago from Seffner, Florida

      @JohnGreasyGamer yes sir.

    • JohnGreasyGamer profile image

      John Roberts 4 years ago from South Yorkshire, England

      Is that some kind of pantyliner? As for Tonyx35, I couldn't agree more ^^

    • MichaelJohnMele profile image
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      Michael John Mele 4 years ago from Seffner, Florida

      @JohnGreasyGamer actually the PS Vita looks more like a maxi pad than toilet paper...just saying.

    • Tonyx35 profile image

      J Antonio Marcelino 4 years ago from Illinois, USA

      The Philips CD-i is the only one I can throw into the can.

    • JohnGreasyGamer profile image

      John Roberts 4 years ago from South Yorkshire, England

      What other games consoles would make good Charmin'? I mean, the Atari Jaguar looks like a toilet on its own, and most Nintendo consoles are too cubic. I think the PS3 despite its size would make a good one as it's nice and curved. Or maybe the PSOne Slim. And you could use a Nintendo DS like a taco to some degree, though that's just plain disgusting.

      I'm thinking too deeply on this, so it's time to write my new book called "Crap consoles - How Nintendo is the Butt of all Jokes".

    • MichaelJohnMele profile image
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      Michael John Mele 4 years ago from Seffner, Florida

      JohnGreasyGamer thank you very much sir. You know me, I'm an open book...even when the door is closed and locked...as in the crapper.

    • JohnGreasyGamer profile image

      John Roberts 4 years ago from South Yorkshire, England

      Hilarious as always, good sir! More of "MichaelJohnMele's capers on the crapper!" for us to laugh about and find morals in the story. Voted up, funny, useful and interesting ^^