Piddling on electric fences: Stupid things you did when you were a kid!
Kids do the strangest things, all in the name of fun. Maybe you still do some of these things? Maybe you've just forgotten...
Ice cream soup
Who never made ice cream soup?
It's so simple and so yummy. Fill a bowl with ice cream, smash it and stir it until it reaches a nice runny consistency. Then add as much sauce as you can and get it all round your face. I definitely still do this!
Trying to go 360 on the swings
The illusive 360 degree swing. The amount of speed needed to get over the top before gravity can grab you and smash you downwards, making mincemeat of your face, is massive. It can be done though, there are people out there who are just nuts enough to try it.... with a few modifications...
But, warning, it almost ALWAYS ends in carnage!
Here's how you do go 360 on a swing!
Cow pat frisbees
Hmmmmm.... now maybe this one is just an Isle of Wight pastime! As I could find no pictures of any other people launching cow faeces at each other, I'll have to assume it is!
Well, for those who have been deprived of the pleasure of hurtling hardened, fungus covered bovine butt-frisbees at your mates head..... that's about all there is! Grab the biggest, driest, flattest pat you can find and send it full speed at your mate! They don't half hurt when they crack you across the skull! Don't forget your helmets kiddies!
Spending your dinner money on sweets
Come on, who didn't do this?
Carrots boiled to a pulp and rattly roast potatoes, or 200 sweets?
Cold, chewy chips and baked beans with a skin on them, or chocolate and sugar?
It's a no brainer.
It's only when completing that sticker collection becomes a priority that you have a dilemma...
Making and breaking bases
OK, so the luxury treehouse is a bit over the top. What is it with kids making bases at the bottom of the garden, or out in the woods? I guess it's the first sign of a need for independence. It's also the first taste of war! That is until the tummy starts to rumble!
Well, I guess we can throw all types of disgusting bodily instrumentation into this one. When you're 10 you're cool if you can do a 5 second plus armpit fart, or burp on demand. Go figure
Mind the lava!
Remember avoiding all the cracks in the pavement and edging along the garden wall, leaping from flower bed to flower bed to avoid the crazy paving? I do.... and anyone who says they don't still do this from time to time, is a liar!
Piddling on electric fences
Electric fences are such a draw for kids. Is it on? Is it even electric? Does it hurt? WHACK!
Prove yourself by taking a firm grip and feeling like your veins are about to pop out of your arm.
Then it escalates....
They only ever pee on it once!
Sliding down handrails
You haven't lived if you haven't come a cropper on a handrail. They're everywhere, and they're so inviting. From shops to streets to huge escalators on the underground, the temptation is always there.
It gets trickier as you get older though. Fire evacuation chairs, like the one pictured right, always seem like a good idea for me now.
Feel free to enjoy the clips below. Don't feel bad! We've all been there... and if you haven't, you haven't lived
'Ghostie'ing your bike
Why did we do this? When you're a kid, your bike is everything. Your bike is freedom. Your bike is just making it home for dinner. Your bike is building up that collection of crash trophy scars.... and we go and ghostie it over ramps and into ponds, turning it into a mashed up, battle scarred, ex-vehicle. Again, go figure
Climbing up slides
Kids get bored easily. Why go down a slide, when you can go up it? While everybody else is still busy trying to go down. Climbing up slides has been the cause of much embarrassment for many, and has led to many a split lip, not to mention, a dirty bum!
Playing slaps and raps
This one is along the same vein as the electric fence one. Bravado.
For those who don't know, slaps involves standing face to face with and opponent and slapping each others hands red raw. Even more brutal is raps. Basically you pick a card, and depending on what you get, you get the edge of a whole pack of cards slammed or scraped across your knuckles. This often leads to bleeding hands that you have to pretend don't hurt
Pretending to brush teeth
Why? Just why? What do kids have against having a freshly brushed and fresh feeling set of gnashers? Can anyone answer this? Is it just rebellion against adult rule? I guess it must be