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The 6 gamer types we're forced to deal with

Updated on June 22, 2015

Some of us gamers have had controllers in our hands ever since we can remember. Whether it was running around in circles in Super Mario 64 or spending hours leveling our Pokemon, there's always been that special passion for games. With games having slowly turned more competitive based, it was impossible for most of us to shy away from the challenge of beating our friends and claiming bragging rights However, the biggest challenge sometimes isn't actually the games we compete in. It's the players you find yourself competing against.

1. The Cheater

Let's be honest with ourselves for a moment: we've all cheated at least once when playing in competitive games. We've peeked at each others screens, used completely unfair characters (I'm looking at you, Odd Job), or even used glitches to get a leg up on our competition. Then there's the players who do such religiously, arguably being the only way they can actually win. To make things even more aggravating they'll justify their actions. “If it's in the game, how is it cheating?” Suddenly you're being told that you're taking things too seriously and it's “just a game.” You can't help but find yourself gripping your controller and baring your teeth when playing with these types.

2.The Rager

On the topic of anger, how can we not cover the gamers who fly into a rage when their kill streak is interrupted or you've metaphorically put them over your knee for a spanking. Again- let's have a moment of honesty- we get mad from time to time when playing against each other; nobody likes losing. But the moment smack talk turns into a long, elaborate explanation on how you're going to receive a grenade as a suppository, there might be an issue. To add to the tension, you typically find your ears bleeding from all of the screaming. The worst part is that no matter what you do, it will fuel their rage. How dare you shoot them from behind! How could anyone have the audacity to do a pit maneuver on them in a race! In the midst of vulgar slurs about how your mother is a pleasures other men you'll start to regret even picking up the controller in the first place.

3.The Liar

Have you heard about the time that one guy got eight head-shots in a row and scored the winning kill? No? Well, you should have been there. Everyone was so impressed. Too bad it wasn't true to begin with. We all know of at least one gamer who's claimed they've come second in a national gaming tournament that you've somehow never heard of and hangs out with all of the famous 'leet' gamers who somehow don't pop up on Google search. Embellish isn't even the appreciate term for these players. Their tall tales are more like skyscrapers. You can't help but make them put their money where their mouth is. It's a shame that whenever you're around they're stuck with the 'broken' controller that has buttons that apparently stick. And don't forget that lag on screen; the screen you just so happen to be sharing with them. The reason? Your senses aren't as keen as theirs. Clearly.

4.The Wannabe

Games are progressively getting more and more immersion. What was once black and white pixelated monitors have grown into colorful worlds we sometimes forget aren't real. While most of us know when to snap back to reality, others.... well, not so much. These are the kind of gamers who can't seem to let go. They seem to know all about guns after playing the latest installment of Call of Duty, convinced that “no-scoping” should be an international sport. In person, they're always a little out of touch with reality. You never know how to react when they start awkwardly grabbing you, trying to show you a 'sick technique they were 'taught' from someone in the 'military'. Unfortunately, trying to explain to them that Captain Price doesn't count as a person won't work. They're too busy giving you a lecture about how the AK-47 is hands down the best gun ever made.

5.The Griefer

Perhaps better described as a 'troll', you soon find yourself pulling at your hair as one of your teammates 'accidentally' destroys the very thing you were trying to protect. They can usually be found sprinting around the map as the rest of the group patiently waits for them to reach the objective so your group and go on. As your patience begins to quickly dwindle, hearing Rick Astley blaring from their microphone, it's nearly impossible to hide your frustration. The worst part about these gamers is that there's pretty much nothing you can do about it other than walk away. From the repetitive cycle of being ran over by your teammates car and being trapped in a corner simply because they refuse to move, you're left with your hands thrown up in the air, repeating the mantra: “fuck it.”

6.The Critic

How many gamers does it take to screw in a light bulb? The answer is two. One to actually screw in the bulb and the other to complain about how the original bulb was so much better. The old saying “everyone is a critic” couldn't be more true with these types of gamer. The graphics aren't good enough. The story isn't up to par. The original was so much better. Nothing, and I do mean nothing will ever appease the 'refined' taste of these gamers. They'd much rather go online and post in a forum about how terrible the soundtrack was to a game rather than actually play the game itself.

So what do gamers do when faced with these types of players? As stated before, gamers never stray from a challenge. And sometimes, that challenge isn't so much about beating the final boss. Instead, it's about learning to tolerate what we can't change.


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    • tommylop profile image


      3 years ago from Colorado.

      I am the critic, that's what I do on hubpages


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