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The Black Ninja

Updated on June 9, 2011

The Black Ninja the beginning


The vibration a six hundred horsepower engine puts out as you cruise slowly over blacktop can be felt from your inner thighs up into your crotch and through the lower back. I look ahead to see the cars all parted at forty five degree angles as if I were a shark slicing across an open stretch of water. The fact that I was a Black Ninja with a reputation of leaving no living being behind only enhanced my feeling of power. Just as I slowed down and shifted my sports car into first gear a flash of blue caught my eye as a car passed beside me and turned into the only remaining parking spot with-in a mile of the stores main entrance. It happened so fast I almost ran into him. He jumped out looked at me and raised his middle finger and continued in the store. Unknown to him I was in pursuit. I had to park out by the highway and walk it seemed a mile to get to the store. Walking in I was careful not to be too conspicuous. A black ninja has to maintain his cover. I spotted the offender just as he was walking out. A missed opportunity. The poor bastard didn't know what he had avoided. Had I caught up with him I would have stared him down causing him to defecate in his pants. Then to put him out of his misery, a simple touch to the back of his neck would have left him in so much pain that he would walk with a limp the rest of his life. Yes the man was lucky today. He would never know how lucky. It would embarrass a normal man to be me. Women can't take their eyes off me. Men want to be me. Everywhere I go the noise level goes down and people stop. "I am a rock star" to quote Charlie Sheen. I pay for what I have come for even though the store would have given it to me just for my presence. About one hundred yards from my car I test the alarm system by setting it off. This informs the general public that I am ready for anything. I slide into the cockpit of my car and engage the starter. The horses roar to life I again feel the power and all is right with the world.

Black ninjas have a lot of responsibilities. I live in a secrete world full of mystery. I have vowed to only do good with my power and had I consummated my plans of earlier in the day at the store I would have felt some shame. The man was more then likely a simpleton not responsible for his actions. I guided my car expertly into its parking space. It was at this moment that I turned my car back into its worldly shape with a flick of my key pad, a 1989 Honda Civic with a busted muffler and rusty body. My mother doesn't know who my alter ego is and can never find out. Dropping off the gallon of milk and loaf of bread I went to my room and sat down before my computer. At last in the privacy of my room I become my avatar, the Black Ninja. The only problem, and it is a real question. Who is the avatar? Is it the Black Ninja or is it the five foot two overweight red headed loser that lives in a converted garage behind my mothers home. The other people in my life say the Black Ninja isn't real but I think they are only jealous of the ninja. I think the life of the red head is the game the ninja plays just to goof off.

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    • Hyphenbird profile image

      Brenda Barnes 

      7 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

      It is pure jealousy! This is too cute and fun. Thanks for a smile. I just wrote a serious Hub and needed this.

    • b. Malin profile image

      b. Malin 

      7 years ago

      I think they are Jealous too Aizel! I loved this little Epic of yours, imagination and all!. May we all NEVER grow to Old and Rusty in BRAIN and forget how to use it. Really FUN Hub.

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