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How Dungeons and Dragons Helps my Marriage...Really

Updated on August 19, 2014
dragons eye
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Dungeons & What?

So here I am, happily married to the man of my dreams after only 15 years of pining over one another, marrying other people, traveling, having kids and basically being childish jerks. I am blissfully happy, except for those hairs in the sink and the umm...game night. Embrace your other half's hobbies--this is what I have read anyhow--This should be fun and improve my relationship, right?

Ok, I can do this, I can play a fantasy roll playing game with a room full of grown men I have known since we were teenagers. I remember this game from the 90's, but when did they start playing these games again, I think to myself. Anyhow, they are playing and I am trying. As a writer, you'd think that coming up with imaginary stories would really be my bag, but working in advertising (although it is a lot of bs to get people to buy what you want or do what you say) is quite different than saying, pretending and seemingly believing that the things you are creating or saying are real. True story, they act as though this stuff is all really happening.

This should be exciting, something new and adventurous that is outside my box and comfort zone--This will be fun.

How Could D&D be so Difficult?!

This should not be this difficult. In a room full of my closest friends, because all my friends are guys from my teen years, I end up feeling so silly while they are having a blast. Here I go, I'm going to try and get into it...well, that resulted in an argument between my husband and I. Somehow I do not think this is improving my relationship. Apparently I have come across as making fun of them and their game, perhaps it was the pop shots about the comic book I planned on making about why this is a stupid game. Geez, boys can be so touchy.


The question I am asking myself now is what is wrong with me? Why can't I play...have I become a boring grownup? No, this cannot be. I can do this, I am an awesomely creative person, I just can't get past how none of this is real. My logic is that if it is imaginary how can there be rules, am I right? Nope, turns out I am wrong. Now my mission has become proving that I can be fun...I can have fun. Now this is stressful, but they are still having so much fun. How can this be? I am the fun loving free spirit that drives my husband crazy with my 'willy-nilly' ways, how am I actually incapable of having fun playing this game?

Perhaps I should stop looking at things so seriously, maybe?

Learning to Play

After a year or so of going through three different games, from Dungeons and Dragons to Rifts and now to Pathfinder (not sure what all of that means), I have now sort of figured out how to play. I am still a bit outside of the box when it comes to making up characters and following the rules etc... However, things are looking up.


I have now gone from using the same name and character model for every single character I make to being a bit more creative. This game I am making a wizard who is the daughter of a less than regal woman who slept with a wizard and I work in a brothel. Oh yeah, I was raised by nymphs...told ya I could be fun. Honestly, I still go through the game and have no clue what is going on, but it is quality time, I guess, and it's actually become sort of fun.

I am not sure what the lesson here is, other than embrace your other half and their weird ways. However, my husband was exceedingly excited when he got home from work and I told him my background story that I came up with, the one about the nymphs, while mopping the floor and listening to Infected Mushroom. All I can say, ladies, is if you have this in your life and you think it is simply stupid, think on that again. I'm thinking some long walks on the beach are going to be in my future. I do his thing and he automatically wants to do something I am interested in. No, my relaxing couple time isn't as intense, but it makes a nice balance and I actually heard the words "it's good for us to embrace each others interests" from my husband. THAT is why I'm learning to play, not because I really want to or need to, but because it is bringing me closer in my marriage.


Who would have thought that playing Dungeons and Dragons could so improve my marriage? Go figure.

Do YOU Play?

How many of you play roll playing games with your significant other

See results

© 2014 Courtney Witt

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