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Monty Python and the Holy Grail Toys

Updated on February 28, 2013

From hand grenades to dismembered knights: awesome and funny gifts from Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Monty Python and the Holy Grail is one of the classic funnies of Arthurian films. A random film from Monty Python following the quest of King Arthur and his loyal knights for the Holy Grail, it is the source of many hilarious quotes and the bane of many a geek gathering, as someone will inevitably point out that "it's only a model".

From the terrifying bunny rabbit, the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch and the over-zealous Black Knight, there are some truly unique gifts available for the Monty Python fan. Trust me, the legless and armless Black Knight slippers alone will provide hours of amusement. Plus, most of them are plush replicas, affordable and often under $20!

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King Arthur Fights The Black Knight - He's inVINcible!

To truly understand the appeal of dismembered members (heh, sorry) of Middle Age warriors who charge around in armour playing at chivalry, you'll have to watch this clip from The Holy Grail. Warning: spurts of fake blood and flying arms.

Black Knight Slippers! - No untidy arms or legs to trip over as you walk around.

King Arthur: [after Arthur's cut off both of the Black Knight's arms] Look, you stupid Bastard. You've got no arms left.

Black Knight: Yes I have.

King Arthur: *Look*!

Black Knight: It's just a flesh wound.

Monty Python Black Knight Plush Slippers
Monty Python Black Knight Plush Slippers

Our favorite black knight is back and this time ready to defend your feet to the bloody end. One thing must be said, though ignorant of pain and the tide of battle, the Black Knight would not surrender his post at any cost and, with a bit more intellect, may have made an excellent addition to the Knights of the Round.

There's also a matching backpack!

 

King Arthur or the Black Knight? - Whose side are you on in this epic duel?

Are you on the side of Chivalry? Courage? Invincibility? Or the royal prerogative?

The Knights Who Say Ni!! - Keepers of the sacred words: Ni, Ping, and Nee-womm!

Knights of Ni: Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!

Arthur: Who are you?

Knight of Ni: We are the Knights who say..... "Ni"!

Arthur: (horrified) No! Not the Knights who say "Ni"!

Knight of Ni: The same.

Other Knight of Ni: Who are we?

Knight of Ni: We are the keepers of the sacred words: Ni, Ping, and Nee-womm!

Other Knight of Ni: Nee-womm!

Arthur: (to Bedevere) Those who hear them seldom live to tell the tale!

Knight of Ni: The knights who say "Ni" demand..... a sacrifice!

Arthur: Knights of Ni, we are but simple travelers who seek the enchanter

who lives beyond these woods.

Knights of Ni: Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!

Bedevere: No! Noooo! Aaaugh! No!

Knight of Ni: We shall say "Ni" again to you... if you do not appease us.

Arthur: Well what is it you want?

Knight of Ni: We want.....

Form An Army Of Knights of Ni (and the Knights Who Formerly Said Ni) - And demand shrubberies from everyone who comes to your house!

Knights of Ni Chibi Plush Officially Licensed From Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Knights of Ni Chibi Plush Officially Licensed From Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Knights of Ni Chibi Plush Officially Licensed from Monty Python and the Holy Grail - complete with herring, but sadly lacking a shrubbery.

 

The Terrible Rabbit of Caerbannog - Come no further, for death awaits you all with nasty, big, pointy teeth

Do not, repeat not purchase any copies of this item, as it is a creature so foul, so cruel that no man yet has fought with it and lived. Despite the repeated warnings (with gestures) from Tim the Enchanter, the Knights press on and step bravely forth to die at the fangs of the Rabbit of Caerbannog. Only when the Holy Grenade of Antioch is brought forth, is the terrible beast defeated...

Toy Vault Rabbit Plush with Big Pointy Teeth
Toy Vault Rabbit Plush with Big Pointy Teeth

The Rabbit With Big Pointy Teeth measures 9? long, and might appear harmless at a glance, but of course the terrible Rabbit of Caerbannog features articulated razor-toothed jaws. The Rabbit?TMs horrible maw opens to nearly half the Rabbit?TMs full length. With the mouth opened, the red lupine tongue and the massive curved teeth exposed, an awful dread may well creep into your blood, chilling you to the core of your soul. Look past the convenient camouflage of the cute bubblegum-pink nose and downy-textured snow-white fur. The teeth. The baleful red eyes. You have only mere moments left to live. The Knights of The Round Table are led by ominous Tim the Enchanter to the Cave of Caerbannog, where they must face the cave?TMs monster guardian. When the monster appears just outside the cave, a terrible Rabbit with Big Pointy Teeth, poised among smoky bone and skull detritus, the knights scoff disgustingly at Tim?TMs strident warnings. The Rabbit promptly beheads one knight before careening from one victim to the next, opening jugulars in a blood-sprayed one-bunny reign of stark terror.

 

Terrifying white rabbits! Breeding everywhere! We're doomed!

Toy Vault Rabbit Plush Hand Puppet
Toy Vault Rabbit Plush Hand Puppet

You might think putting your hand up the rear end of a rabbit with 3" incisors is a tad dangerous, but there isn't really any other way to make this rabbit puppet work. Imagine how much you can impress your friends with your ability to animate the famous Monty Python Rabbit. Just be careful, because they might think you're being dramatic when you flail your bloody wrist around when the rabbit gets out of hand.

 
Toy Vault Death With Big Pointy Teeth Rabbit
Toy Vault Death With Big Pointy Teeth Rabbit

You are warned. This life size version of the famous death-dealing rabbit has light up eyes, a soft, rabbit-like body, and razor like teeth.

 

The Black Beast Of Aaaarrrrgggghh! - Monty Python Toy Vault 16 Inch Plush

Re-enact the terrifying attack of this dread beast from the caves. Make your friends foght past the pet rabbit, only to leap out at them , causing them to cry out in recognition - Aaaarrrrgggghh!

Toy Vault TYVMP011 Monty Python Black Beast of Arrrggghhh Plush Toy
Toy Vault TYVMP011 Monty Python Black Beast of Arrrggghhh Plush Toy

The horrifying Black Beast Of Aaaaarrrrrrggghhh Plush stands 18�? tall, complete with sound effect and dangling tongue-tab victim. Few sights can be more terrifying and hellish than the visage of the Black Beast Of Aaaaarrrrrrggghhh with its gigantic head, great curling horns and multitude of eyes. The Black Beast rampant, prowling the darkness, cavernous mouth agape, teeth dangling with tatters of knightly flesh. Proceed with care---or else be eaten like any other unwary knight errant. A grim twist of irony. The Knights of the Round Table manage to slip past the terrible Rabbit of Caerbannog, finally discovering the sacred carvings of Joseph of Arimathea to learn that the fabled Holy Grail can be found within Castle�?� Aaaaarrrrrrggghhh. This last bit causes some understandable confusion. The knights are left to ponder the ambiguity only to be suddenly attacked by the ravenous Black Beast! Arthur and his knights are as good as dead, the casual prey of the Black Beast of Aaaaarrrrrrggghhh ---until the animator unexpectedly succumbs to a heart attack and takes the animated Beast with him.

 

Monty Python Cow Catapult Deluxe Set - Monty Python Cow Catapult Includes: 2 Cows 3 Chickens 2 Sheep Cow Catapult BONUS Trojan Rabbit

An effective toy that tends to sell out - and will launch your livestock several feet, gicing you lots of time to work on your sound effects and sure to scale the walls of any toy fort.

Monty Python Cow Catapult Deluxe Set
Monty Python Cow Catapult Deluxe Set

Every home and castle should have one. Are you plagued by nuisance knights? Troubled by kooky kings? Then throw a cow at them, Keep one of these handy hurlers by your side and when taunts don't work, drive your enemies away by launching plastic ducks, sheep, and cows. If that doesn't do the trick, you've still got the 7" Trojan rabbit. From Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail, this hilarious plastic replica is ideal for bombarding friends, coworkers, and so-called "Arthur Kings".

 

Find a Cow Catapault on eBay

These catapaults tend to sell out, so if you want one for Christmas, order early or else you'll have to dive into eBay.

Holy Grail Plush Toy (so this is what all the fuss was about) - Complete the quest - from the safety of home with online ordering!

Holy Grail Plush from Monty Python and the Holy Grail - This is the Holy Grail. Your Quest is to seek and purchase this grail. That is your purpose; your sacred task is to buy this Holy Grail. Beware all rabbits who might hop in your way.

Toy Vault Holy Grail Plush Toy
Toy Vault Holy Grail Plush Toy

The Holy Grail Plush stands 10? tall, the plush golden surfaced of the blessed chalice studded modestly with red jewels. The Holy Grail marks the soul of King Arthur?TMs quest, as the latter marches endlessly, recruiting a spare few worthy knights such as Galahad and Lancelot and all the while circumventing obstacles or facing horrifying adversaries. On the path to enlightenment, Arthur is pressed by the grim swordsmanship of the Black Knight, taunted unmercifully by the Frenchmen, and terrified nearly to the point of insanity by the Knights Who Say Ni. The holy quest is led astray by a false Grail, ravaged perniciously by the likes of the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog and the Black Beast Of Aaaaarrrrrrggghhh, and oppressed by the Bridge of Death. So anyway, here?TMs your chance to contribute to the cause and give Arthur some badly needed assistance.

 

The Trojan Rabbit - A Sir Bedevere Invention For Sneaking Into French Castles. Well... Up To.

Monty Python Toy Vault Trojan Rabbit
Monty Python Toy Vault Trojan Rabbit

Python's wooden trojan rabbit is a must have.. You can defeat all of your enemies with this wooden treasure.. Just follow the below directions for the most enjoyment: "Directions For Use: 1. Place wooden rabbit near enemy fortress. 2. Hide somewhere nearby where you can watch. 3. Wait for enemies to drag wooden rabbit into fortress. 4. Jump out of rabbit and defeat your enemies! (please remember to actually get inside the rabbit for proper functioning) Guaranteed to work every time. Well most every time. Perhaps sometime. Actually, if it truly ever works, please send us a letter.

 

Monty Python Horse Action Figure - (2 Coconut Halves) Clip-Clop, Clip-Clop. Carried here by the finest pure-bred swallows.

Guard: Where'd you get the coconuts?

Arthur: We found them.

Guard: Found them? In Mercia?! The coconut's tropical!

Arthur: What do you mean?

Guard: Well, Mercia's a temperate zone!

Arthur: The swallow may fly south with the sun, and the house martin or the plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land.

Guard: ... Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate?

Tim the Enchanter - There are some who call me... Tim.

Tim the Enchanter (John Cleese) from Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Tim the Enchanter (John Cleese) from Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Who are you who can summon fire without flint or tinder?

 

Tim The Enchanter Talking Chibi Plush

Monty Python Tim The Enchanter Talking Chibi Plush featuring John Cleese
Monty Python Tim The Enchanter Talking Chibi Plush featuring John Cleese

The Tim The Enchanter Talking Chibi Plush stands 10? tall, and his phrases include ??Some call me?Tim,? ??Well, that?TMs no ordinary rabbit,? and ??That?TMs the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set your eyes on.? The caricature Tim the Enchanter is adorned by his ram horn-mounted skullcap and is equipped with his arcane staff. Tim?TMs abilities as an enchanter evidently include some mastery over fire. When questioned on the subject of the Holy Grail, Tim initially leads Arthur and the other Knights to the Cave of Caerbannog. There, Tim cryptically warns Arthur and the others of the Killer Rabbit, but his warnings are greeted with general contempt, the contempt redoubled once they see the Rabbit in person. Consequently, the knights are mauled horrifically by the death bunny as it leaps from the bone-strewn ground to spike the nearest jugular vein.

 
Tim the Enchanter
Tim the Enchanter

Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch

* And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once at the number three, being the third number to be reached, then, lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it."

Fitness Tracker Blimark 2018 Upgraded Fitness Watch Activity Tracker Heart Rate Monitor Watch IP67 Waterproof for Sleep Monitor Pedometer Step Calorie Counter SMS Call Sedentary Remind for Android IOS
Fitness Tracker Blimark 2018 Upgraded Fitness Watch Activity Tracker Heart Rate Monitor Watch IP67 Waterproof for Sleep Monitor Pedometer Step Calorie Counter SMS Call Sedentary Remind for Android IOS

In Monty Python and the Holy Grail, the Holy Hand Grenade was the only weapon that could defeat the Rabbit with Big Pointy Teeth. This is a reproduction of that famous weapon of bunny destruction. Sized to be easily thrown with only one hand at amost 5" in diameter, this silent version, without whoopee cushion, will never be heard by that bad bunny. First time ever released in this size!

 

Throw these over your rear view mirror, to protect yourself against heathens and assorted other adversaries.

Monty Python Holy Hand Grenade Danglers
Monty Python Holy Hand Grenade Danglers

Even the most uncivilized pagan would recognize the ponderous theological significance and cataclysmic capability of the fabled Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch. The hand grenade is renowned for its ability to hold sway over one particularly nightmarish monster? An accurate count of ??ONE, TWO, FIVE!? must be performed once the cross-shaped pin is pulled, at which point the grenade is hurled at a given target. The Holy Hand Grenade holds a special significance in that it was the weapon used to neutralize the terrifying power of the Killer Rabbit at the threshold of the Cave of Caerbannog---thus allowing the Knights of the Round table entrance and access to the next fateful clue in their unerring quest to acquire the fabulous Holy Grail.

 

Watch The Holy Hand Grenade In Action - Count along...

Noble Knights And Other Characters: Figures and Dolls - Re-enact Monty Pythona nd the Holy Grail with these dolls!

The Funny Hat Collection: From Crowns to Helmets - Crown yourself King Arthur or buy the Black Knight's helmet!

Monty Python Toy Vault Black Knight Plush Helmet
Monty Python Toy Vault Black Knight Plush Helmet

A symbol of darkness rivaling the iniquity of the Knight Of Ni Hat, the Black Knight Plush Helmet is a wearable helmet. Iron-black and bolt-studded, blunt-oblong, the helmet features a broad visor slot---a feature offering the type of peripheral range as to hopefully avoid dismembered appendages. This grim helmet was once worn by the terrible Black Knight, a former adversary of noble King Arthur! Arthur arrives just in time to watch the Black Knight defeat the Green Knight. Stirred by the Black Knight?TMs lethal prowess, Arthur invites the Black Knight to join the Knights of the Round Table. Contemptuously, the Black Knight disregards the offer, and then reacts offensively when Arthur attempts to cross the bridge. Reluctantly, Arthur is drawn into a duel with the Black Knight. The Black Knight remains undeterred even when Arthur begins to dismember him. All part of the plan. Believing the duel to be over, Arthur reverses his broadsword and kneels reverently---only to be kicked in the head by his disdainful adversary. Secure in the knowledge that he has now drawn his opponent within striking distance, the Black Knight continues the fight, sensing the completion of his cunning strategy as Arthur chops away his one remaining leg?

 
Helmet of King Arthur from Monty Python and the Holy Grail [Apparel]
Helmet of King Arthur from Monty Python and the Holy Grail [Apparel]

A high-quality and very fancy (look at the shiny!) replica of King Arthur's helmet.

 
Toy Vault Tim the Enchanter Hat
Toy Vault Tim the Enchanter Hat

You too can wear the horns of Tim and fool your enemies! From Monty Python, this "Tim the Enchanter" hat has plush spiraling horns that will transform you into the one they call Tim.

 
Arthurian King Arthur Royal Gold Costume Crown
Arthurian King Arthur Royal Gold Costume Crown

Crown yourself a fancy king - without an election!

 

Monty Python Fluxx Looney - A confusing and hilarious game

Monty Python Fluxx
Monty Python Fluxx

If Fluxx wasn't confusing and strange enough, now the Pythons have gotten involved with the proceedings and made it even more hysterical. Monty Python Fluxx now includes singing, fake accents, reciting Python dialog for extra cards, and pretty much everything else, short of farting in your general direction. (It is, after all, a game for the whole family.) Loosely based on concepts from Monty Python and the Holy Grail, there are guest appearances from King Arthur and all of his Knights, coconuts, a shrubbery, an unladen swallow, a trojan rabbit, a catapult, an airborne cow, the Holy Hand Grenade, and the Finger of God, as well as such Python classics as the giant foot, the nude organist, a resting parrot, and the Spanish Inquisition - which, of course everyone was expecting.

 

The Knights Who Say NI! Want To Know If You Have Anything To Offer Them - Well? Do you have a shrubbery? Or do you know the word they cannot hear?

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    • Hclothing profile image

      Hclothing 

      6 years ago

      I always play Monty Python Fluxx and enjoy that game very much

    • kerbev profile image

      kab 

      7 years ago from Upstate, NY

      I played Monty Python Fluxx last night. It was a great game.

    • punkgrinder profile image

      punkgrinder 

      7 years ago

      Love that movie, brilliant Lens!

    • Addy Bell profile image

      Addy Bell 

      8 years ago

      So hard to choose between the Black Knight slippers and the Tim the Enchanter Hat ...

    • oztoo lm profile image

      oztoo lm 

      8 years ago

      Sorry, I can't tell you what it is. Great fun lens. I never knew all these Monty Python toys existed. Love Monty Python movies, especially this one. Me thinks you would have done well on the Monty Python team.

    • BuckHawkcenter profile image

      BuckHawkcenter 

      8 years ago

      I offer them the nose from the gold-rimmed palate. They will love it, of course! In the meantime, I want the Trojan Rabbit! Great stuff!

    • jptanabe profile image

      Jennifer P Tanabe 

      8 years ago from Red Hook, NY

      Wonderful collection from Monty Python! Got to have those coconuts that might or might not migrate, and the black knight slippers. And yes, I've got a shrubbery!

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