On the second Portal game from Valve, GlaDOS, Chell and a lack of cake!
The original game Portal is a well known and well loved and extremely funny puzzle-solving, action, adventure, insane robot game. With no cake. However, it was only ever intended to be a demo, a teaser, a trial - not a proper game at all! This is why it so short. But now - now the 'real' Portal has arrived. Portal 2. It exists, it has finally been released and it looks like a lot of fun. So much fun that an entire class was cancelled so that everyone could play Portal 2 and a whole list of awesome memes have been added to the list of Portal memes.
In Portal, you played the protagonist, Chell - a woman being used as a test subject in the Enrichment Centre, guided through increasingly complicated test chambers by the voice of GLaDOS. GLaDOS (Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System), an AI, continually promises you cake,but becomes increasingly unstable and suspicious. The game ends with you incinerating GLaDOS' Personality Sphere.
In Portal 2, you are still playing Chell and have returned to the Enrichment Centre hundreds of years later (after spending the time in stastis). However, everything has gotten a lot more complicated... Portal 2 actually mimics a lot of the gameplay of Portal, with a very similar final Boss battle (only... not against GLaDOS).
We also get to hear a lot more of Cave Johnson, the founder and CEO of Aperture Science. Gotta' love the crazy ones, folks.
Seven demo videos were released at the Sony E3 Conference - you can watch the the new and devious puzzle elements, such as Repulsion Gel, Aerial Faith Plates and Pneumatic Diversion Vents, below!. Come, read, learn, and laugh. And then there will be cake. Sadly the Companion Cube cannot attend because it was murdered. But there really was a cake. Portal 2 will play on Microsoft Windows, Mac OS X, PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360. The single player campaign (with Chell) takes around six to nine hours, and the co-op Robot mode takes about five hours. Some people will be faster, others slower.
[Most of the things referred to throughout (e.g. the Companion Cube, the "Still Alive" song, the cake) are internet memes now. The cake is constantly promised to you throughout the game, but as the AI gets increasingly insane she tells you it was eaten/there was never a cake. And there's graffiti everywhere from previous test subjects saying 'the cake is a lie']
Have You Played Portal 2 Yet? - Or are you still waiting to get your hands on it?
Have You Played Portal 2 Yet? What did you think?
Portal 2 Collector's Edition Guide - The official and officially awesome limited edition guidebook to Portal 2
Some of the puzzles are actually really hard, so if you don't want to get stuck for too long, this handy 'levelled' guide book is full of awesome tips (designed to give you a hint... or a full walkthrough, whichever you need). It's a big shiny book, with high quality images, lots of extra information at the back, including interviews, quotes, plot summaries and art. It's also a limited edition book, and what I bought my brother for Christmas.
The non-collector guide is also a very useful book to assist you through the game without spoilers. Highly recommended, and much cheaper, though not quite as pretty, as the collector's edition.
"Oh Portal 2's great. It's the best game we've ever done."
Source: Gabe Newell: Portal 2 Interview
Did You Ever Play the Original Portal? - What did you think?
Portal was a short, fantastic and hilarious puzzle-solving, physics-bending, role-playing, mad-computer-controlled game that came out in 2007 from Valve Corporation. It was playable on Xbox and PC - and in 2010 a Mac version was released.
It also won a whole bunch of awards!
Have you played Portal?
Is Portal 2 the Most Awesome Game in the History of Computer Games? - If you had to choose between Portal 2 and anything else, would you pick Portal 2?
An Introduction To Portal - ...with Portal 2 teasers!
[NB: Steam offered Portal as a free download in May, to celebrate it being available on Mac - this is no longer the case, but the promotional video is still a good introduction. Steam is the gaming 'platform' - you can download games through it, and you need an account to play them. Valve is the company that made Portal]
Steam for the Mac has been released, and Aperture Science couldn't be happier.
Since May 12th, millions of new recruits have poured into the Aperture Science Enrichment Center for Portal testing. If they are ever found, we are sure they would want you to know that the wheels of science turn ever onward. Today, in an effort to restaff, Aperture Science directs your attention to this motivational recruitment video.
Portal 2 comes to PS3! The E3 Trailer - The trailer from the E3 convention!
Portal 2 Trailer [HD]: Meet Wheatley - Demo Gameplay Part 1: Meet Wheatley the... robotic eyeball who introduces you around!
Portal Credits Songs - I'm doing Science and I'm still alive.
Want You Gone!
Awesome Moments From Portal 2 - Watch some of the funniest lines in Portal 2
The History of Aperture Science - The origins of the Enrichment Centre and GLaDOS
- 1953 - Aperture Science begins operations as a manufacturer of shower curtains. Early product line provides a very low-tech portal between inside and outside your shower.
- 1956 - Eisenhower administration awards Aperture a contract to provide shower curtains to all branches of the military except the Navy.
- 1957 - 1975 - Mostly shower curtains.
- 1978 - Aperture Founder and CEO, Cave Johnson, is exposed to mercury while secretly developing a dangerous mercury-injected rubber sheeting from which he plans to manufacture seven deadly shower curtains to be given as gifts to each member of the House Naval Appropriations committee.
- 1979 - Both of Cave Johnson's kidneys fail. Brian damaged, dying, and incapable of being convinced that time is not now flowing backwards, Johnson lays out a three tiered R&D program. The results, he says, will 'guarantee the continued success of Aperture Science far into the fast-approaching distant past.'
Tier 1: The Heimlich Counter-Manoeuvre - A reliable technique for interrupting the life-saving Heimlich Manoeuvre.
Tier 2: The Take-A-Wish Foundation - A charitable organisation that will purchase wishes from the parents of terminally ill children and redistribute them to wish-deprived but otherwise health adults.
Tier 3: 'Some kind of rip in the fabric of space... That would... Well, it'd be like, I don't know, something that would help with the shower curtains I guess. I haven't worked this idea out as much as the wish-taking one.'
- 1981 - Diligent Aperture engineers complete the Heimlich Counter-Manoeuvre and Take-A-Wish Foundation initiative. The company announces products related to the research in a lavish, televised ceremony. These products become immediately, wildly unpopular. After a string of very public choking and despondent sick child disasters, senior company officials are summoned before a Senate investigative committee. During these proceedings, an engineer mentions that some progress has been made of Tier 3, the 'man-sized ad hoc quantum tunnel through physical space with possible applications as a shower curtain.' The committee is quickly permanently recessed, as Aperture is granted an open-ended contract to secretly continue research on the 'Portal' and Heimlich Counter-Manoeuvre projects.
- 1981-1985 - Work progresses on the 'Portal' project. Several high ranking Fatah personnel choke to death on lamb chunks despite the intervention of their bodyguards.
- 1986 - Word reaches Aperture management that another defence contractor called 'Black Mesa' is working on a similar portal technology. In response to this news, Aperture begins developing the Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System (GLaDOS), an artificially intelligent research assistant and disk operating system.
- 1996 - After a decade spent bringing the disk operating parts of GLaDOS to a state of more or less basic functionality, working begins on the Genetic Lifeform component.
- Several Years Later (Official Date Classified) - The untested AI is activated for the first time as one of the planned activities on Aperture's first annual bring-your-daughter-to-work day.
- PORTAL COMES HERE. Only GLaDOS survives... and Chell.
- Several centuries later Chell returns to the Enrichment Centre, in Portal 2.
The Award-Winning Portal - Play the first Portal Game!
* At the 2008 Game Developers Choice Awards, Portal won Game of the Year, along with the Innovation Award and Best Game Design.
* IGN.com honored Portal with several awards, for Best Puzzle Game for PC and Xbox 360, Most Innovative Design for PC, and Best End Credit Song (for "Still Alive") for Xbox 360, along with overall honors for "Best Puzzle Game", and Most Innovative Design.
* In its Best of 2007, GameSpot honored The Orange Box with 4 awards in recognition of Portal, giving out honors for Best Puzzle Game, "Best New Character(s)" (for GLaDOS), "Funniest Game", and Best Original Game Mechanic (for the portal gun).
* Portal was awarded Game of the Year (PC), Best Narrative (PC), and Best Innovation (PC and console) honors by 1UP.com in its 2007 editorial awards.
* GamePro honored the game for Most Memorable Villain (for GLaDOS) in its Editors' Choice 2007 Awards.
* The Most Original Game award by X-Play.
* In GameSpy's 2007 Game of the Year awards, Portal was recognized as Best Puzzle Game,"Best Character" (for GLaDOS), and "Best Sidekick" (for the Weighted Companion Cube).
* A.V. Club called it the Best Game of 2007.
* The webcomic Penny Arcade awarded Portal Best Soundtrack, Best Writing, and Best New Game Mechanic in its satirical 2007 We're Right Awards.
* Eurogamer gave Portal first place in its Top 50 Games of 2007 rankings.
* IGN.com has also placed "GLaDOS", (from "Portal") as the "#1 Video Game Villain" on their Top 100 Villains List.
Wired considered Portal to be one of the most influential games of the first decade of the 21st century, believing it to be the prime example of quality over quantity for video games.
Previews of the Visual Elements of Portal 2 - Portal 2: Concept Art and Screenshots: images from Game Informer magazine
Portal - Transmission Recieved - "Changed radio transmission frequency to comply with federal and state spectrum management regulations"
Sneaky patches were added to Portal in advance of the announcement of Portal 2, which added a new achievement, titled "Transmission Received" which contained cryptic messages for players to decipher as well as additional memos - such as this excerpt:
"Plus, in the event of your death, I personally guarantee that, thanks to the form you were required to sign this morning, your family will not suffer the indignities of a prolonged and costly legal battle against Aperture Science. Trust me, I am rich, and it is a burden I do not wish on anyone.
To summarize: 6218376213 wjqehjk -213888^%@5*(*@)@)#*a@ +---+++ "
Puzzle Elements: The Excursion Funnel - Demonstration 2: Excursion Funnels or 'The weird glowing blue light antigravity tunnel thing!'
Excursion funnels are part of an investigation into how well subjects can solve problems while travelling through a churning tunnel of liquid asbestos. Results so far have been highly informative. They cannot.
Puzzle Elements: The Aerial Faith Plates - Demo Gameplay Part 3 - Aerial Faith Plate or 'the trampoline boards that will make the Companion Cube really seasick,
Aerial Faith Plates are part of a larger trust experiment designed to help the Enrichment Center discover whther the capacity for trust is affected by being catapaulted through space.
What Platforms Will Portal 2 Be Available On?
Portal 2 will be available to play on
Max OS X
Official System Requirements
Portal 2 system requirements according to Steam
OS: Windows 7 / Vista / XP
Processor: 3.0 GHz P4, Dual Core 2.0 (or higher) or AMD64X2 (or higher)
Memory: 1GB XP / 2GB Vista
Hard Disk Space: At least 7.6 GB of Space
Video: Video card must be 128 MB or more and should be a DirectX 9-compatible with support for Pixel Shader 2.0b (ATI Radeon X800 or higher / NVIDIA GeForce 7600 or higher / Intel HD Graphics 2000 or higher).
Audio: DirectX 9.0c compatible
OS: MAC OS X 10.6.6 or higher
Processor: Intel Core Duo Processor (2GHz or better)
Hard Disk Space: At least 7.6 GB of Space
Video: ATI Radeon 2400 or higher / NVIDIA 8600M or higher
Which Platform Will You Play Portal 2 On? - Are you a computer gamer or a console geek?
Portal 2 will be available on all five platforms below - which will you choose?
Pre-Order Portal 2 - Order the right version of Portal 2 here!
(The Mac version will probably be a Steam download. But there definitely is one)
PC GAME: Windows Vista/XP
Puzzle Elements: Thermal Discouragement Beam - Demo Gameplay Part 4 - Thermal Discouragement Beam or 'GIANT LAZORZZZ YEEHAAA'
Basically you have a 'magnifying glass' Companion Cube, a Giant Red Burning Laser Beam and little 'ant' turrets. You then channel your childhood cruelty to the logical end. Or you can die.
Puzzle Elements: Pneumatic Diversity Vent - Demo Gameplay Part 5 - Pneumatic Diversity Vent or 'the most fun air-tunnel hydro slide thing ever'
'Passive Monitoring' ensures objects in vent are identified, but never judged.
This one looks the most fun so far - you can suck up all the little turrets and watch them fly all over the place. Plus you get to 'ambush by giant vacuum' and blow a wall down on them in a sneak attack!
Funny Graphs: Time Valve Spent Developing Portal 2 - There is no cake. Now let them eat cake.
Puzzle Elements: Repulsion Gel - Demo Gameplay Part 5: Repulsion Gel or 'bouncy liquid rubber stuff'
Aperture's second attempt at a dietetic pudding substitute resulted in Repulsion Gel, a much sweeter, slightly less non-toxic form of fiverglass insulation that cause subsequent ingested food items to bounce of the lining of the dieter's distorted stomach and out his or her mouth.
For Various Reasons, this was also pulled from the shelf.
Puzzle Elements: Propulsion Gel - Demo Gameplay Part 7: Propulsion Gel or 'the Chemical Zooming Mudslide'
Designed as a Diet Aid and marketed under the name 'Propulsion Pudding', this sweet, largely non-toxic liquid form of fibreglass insulation increased the velocity of any food that followed it through the digestive tract, leaving the body no time to absorb calories.
Propulsion Pudding was pulled from the shelves when it was discovered that digestion plays several crucial roles in the eating process, such as breaking food down into small,manageable chunks before it is violently expelled from the human body.
Characters: Who Will You Meet In Portal 2?
Chell - You (female escapee/test subject)
GLaDOS - Unfriendly AI
Wheatley (placeholder) - Personality Sphere
Possible cameo from the Weighted Companion Cube
Wheatley The Personality Sphere - Annoying or Not? - Do you think you could put up with Wheatley throughout the whole game?
(Spoiler: His voice is only a Placeholder anyway)
Is Wheatley going to be really aggravating if he stays through the entire game?
And she's not happy
- "Well, you found me. Congratulations. Was it worth it? Because despite your violent behavior, the only thing you've managed to break so far, is my heart. Maybe we could settle for that, and we'll just call it a day. I guess we both know that isn't going to happen. You chose this path. Now I have a surprise for you. Deploying surprise in 5... 4--
Time out for a second. That wasn't supposed to happen. Do you see the thing that fell out of me? What is that? It's not the surprise. I've never seen it before. Nevermind. It's a mystery I'll solve later.
...By myself. Because you'll be dead."
- Oh. It's you. It's been a long time. How have you been? I've been really busy being dead. You know... after you murdered me. Look. We've both said a lot of things we're going to regret. But I think we can put our differences behind us. For science. You monster.
We're a lot alike, you and I. You tested me. I tested you. You killed me. I ki--
Wait... I guess I haven't killed you yet. Hm.
Food for thought during this next test.
GLaDOS IS BACK.
Zombie Cake? Words from Valve writer Erik Wolpaw
And can we actually trust anything Valve says on this matter? HAVE THEY EATEN THE CAKE ALREADY?
"If you thought you were sick of the memes, I was sick of it way ahead of you,"
"For instance, cake," he added. "I've had enough cake jokes."
"The cubes are in there because they're a gameplay element, and obviously, GLaDOS is back, but there's a bunch of new gameplay and we want to tell an interesting new story," he said.
"We didn't jettison everything, but I absolutely do not want to try and resurrect a three-year-old meme. That seems like it would be kind of sad. It's not a good idea."
Quotes from Valve writer Erik Wolpaw, in an interview with Gamasutra: Portal 2's Wolpaw: 'I Do Not Want To Resurrect A Three-Year-Old Meme'
SPOILER Valve cunningly referenced the Cake Is A Lie meme by having a fake door leading to cake.
Weighted Companion Cube - The Weighted Companion Cube may be still alive!
The beloved, silent, defenceless Weighted Companion Cube has been spotted in the previews! Looks like it pulled a 'Luke Skywalker' after being dropped down the incinerator chute!
(of course, we can't be sure...)
Co-Op RoBots! - Play with a friend as a turret and a personality core!
The cop-operative mode will allow two people to play as two bots - a turret and a personality core - who both get portal guns and can travel through each other's portals. Console versions will have a split screen mode, and PC versions will have picture-in-picture to allow for easy communication.
Interviews with Valve and Voiceovers - Talking About Portal 2 With Real People
Portal 2 Official Art - GLaDOS and Chell in the Game Informer Article
Scans from Game Informer! - The first reveal of story, game elements and artwork.Click thumbnail to view full-size
Portal Screenshots - Compare the original Portal to the new version!Click thumbnail to view full-size
Not in cruelty
Not in wrath
The REAPER came today
An ANGEL visited
this gray path
And took the cube away
© 2014 FlynntheCat1