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The 10 Best Products on ThinkGeek
It's like Amazon, for Geeks
If you're looking for the geekiest products on the web, look no further than ThinkGeek. They have everything from officially licensed Star Wars taun-taun sleeping bags, to unicorn meat in a can. Many of their products are hilarious, many are practical, and many are useless but fun.
Check out my list of favorites below.
This thing is evil. Wonderfully, amazingly evil.
The purpose of this thing is to annoy the hell out of someone. Set it on one of the three settings, turn it on, and hide it in your office, or at a friend's house, or wherever. The Annoy-a-tron will emit a beep every 2 - 8 minutes, and your mark will go mad trying to figure out where the beep is coming from, what it means, and DEAR GOD JUST MAKE IT STOP!!!!
Even if they do find the Annoy-a-tron's hiding spot, they'll have no idea what it is, or why it's beeping.
Pick it up for a really low price too.
Get 1 for $9.99, 2 for $12.99, or 3 for $17.99
Miracle Berries are a tablet that change the way things taste for about the next hour. Chew half a tablet, then suck on that sweet, refreshing lemon. Eat an orange that tastes like it was meant for the table of God Himself. The sourest foods you can think of will taste like the sweetest candy you've ever had.
Miracle Berries are not a drug. They seem to change the taste receptors on your tongue so that sour foods seem sweet, and sweet foods seem truly awe-inspiring.
Give them a try, host a tasting party, and share them with your friends.
A pack contains 10 tablets. Break each tablet in two, so you have 20 doses.
1 Pack is $14.99
2 Packs is $24.99
3 Packs is $29.99
If you're a gamer, and like retro games, then you NEED this portable device.
Plainly put, the GP2X Wiz runs game emulators for a number of classic systems. You can play arcade games using MAME, Atari games, NES, SNES, Gameboy and Gameboy Advance games.
This will, of course, mean that you'll have to find a way of legally obtaining game ROMs, but if you Google it, I'm sure you can find many legal places to purchase ROMS.
It comes with 1GB of space, and an expansion port for an SD card if you run out of space.
With all this power, it costs only a low $149.00
Book of Secrets
Pssst.... Hey, over here! Wanna know a secret? How about hundreds of them?
The Book of Secrets is just that. For example, the government smashed a bacteria-laden light bulb in the New York Subway system in 1966. And there's actually an underground movie theatre in France.
This tiny little book will excite you, and inspire you, to find out more. What secrets will you find? I can't tell you anymore though. It's a secret.
But you can buy this book for $5.99 and find out more secrets.
Rubik's Mirror Blocks Cube
If you loved the original Rubik's Cube, then this should inspire you.
All the squares on this cube are the same mirrored silver color. But all the blocks are different sizes. It works exactly like the original Rubik's Cube, but when you scramble it, it starts to look really strange. If you want a challenge, this is your new toy and obsession.
It's a steal at only $19.99
The Amazing Desktop Dinosaur Plant
When it comes to plants, I have the Black Thumb of Death. I couldn't keep a plant alive for a year if you were to offer me a lifetime supply of Miracle Berries.
So, I was greatly impressed when I got my hands on the Dinosaur Plant. This thing has been around for the past 290 million years, and is nearly impossible to kill. If, like me, you forget to water it, it goes into hibernation. It'll hibernate for 50 years without water. When it does get water, it blooms and grows into a lush, vibrant ball of green.
For only $7.99, you can own your very own piece of history.
Mechanical Kitty Coin Bank
Admit it: You're a geek. Ok. We have that out of the way. As a geek, we know you love kittehs. If you don't love lolcats, you're not a geek.
So, now that we've confirmed that you're a lolcat-lovin' geek, we have to present to you the wonders of the Mechanical Kitty Coin Bank. Put a coin in his bowl, and Kitteh will poke his head and paw out of the box and snatch the coin from you!
Youtube has proven time and again that this will fascinate you for hours, and you'll spend your entire paycheck on pennies for your Kitteh.
So, go spend $29.99 and pick one up. You know you want to.
Settlers of Catan
If you want to establish your geek cred, you need Settlers of Catan.
Catan is the ultimate board game. The board is different every time you play. You're not reliant on the luck of the dice to win. Instead, you use your brains and strategize your way to a win. Each game takes about half an hour to play, and if played right, you will make somebody at the table angry.
If you want some fun with 3-4 people that is still G-rated, this is the game for you.
Head over to ThinkGeek and pick it up for only $39.99.
Canned Unicorn Meat
This PETA-Approved* unicorn meat is delicious. Fed candy corn and rubbed down with Guinness, the unicorn meat is well marbled, yet incredibly healthy. It sparkles, thanks to crushed unicorn horn mixed in, and tastes like ambrosia.
Okay, seriously, it's a dismembered plush unicorn in a can. You pull the bottom off the can, and try to put Mr. Unicorn together again. I wouldn't recommend actually eating it.
This started on ThinkGeek as an April Fool's joke, but so many people wanted it that ThinkGeek found a way to make it available.
Pick up a can for only $12.99.
*PETA disapproves of everything, so no, not really.
Star Wars Tauntaun Sleeping Bag
Finally, the geekiest of the geeks will want this officially licensed Star Wars Tauntaun Sleeping bag.
Of course you remember the scene in The Empire Strikes Back, where Han Solo uses Luke's light saber to cut open a dead tauntaun, stuffs him inside to keep him alive, and stinking of tauntaun guts for months. You can now recreate that scene, with your own tauntaun sleeping bag. With the head, legs, and tail of a tauntaun, you slice open the belly of the beast with the lightsaber zipper, slide in, and maybe smell sorta funny yourself.
Well, not really. I've heard they wash it out fairly thoroughly before mailing it to you.
In fact, they'll mail it to you for only $99.99
Bonus: Star Wars Force FX Lightsabers
If you don't want one or two of these babies, you need to turn in your geek card. They light up. They make noises. You can actually have fights with them. You will surely be the envy of all your friends. Or at least the ones that are also geeks.
You can find the Force FX Lightsaber on ThinkGeek for $119
Which one do you want most?
Looking through all of this stuff, I'm certain that at least one of these items made you desperate with need. So, which one is it?
Which item most tugs at your geekiness?
If you know of something from ThinkGeek that you think is better, then call me on it.