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World of Warcraft jokes
A raid laugh intermission
Want to make your allies on teamspeak burst out in laughter?
Try out some of these world of warcraft jokes below! They're a great way to help waste time waiting between respawns or for that foolish gnome to come back from his death.
Funniest, as voted by You!
You know you play too much when...
Your microwave dings and you go, "Grats!".
Jokes about World of Warcraft players
When a player leaves EVE to join WoW, the IQ of both games goes up.
And who can forget that entire episode of South Park?
You can watch it online in North America on their website.
Q: What to you call a Druid who melee's in tree form?
A : A combat log!
Q: What do you call 5 druids in a bath?
A: A HoT tub.
A druid in bear form and a warrior are dueling.
The warrior uses disarm.
Druid: "Dude, where's my paw?"
Yo mamas so ugly, I had to use [Track Beasts] to find her.
What do you call a gnome mage?
What does the warrior say to the mage?
Trick question. The mage is dead. [PvP]
Yo mamas so fat that mages have to grease their portals and conjure cinnamon rolls on the other side to get her through.
What do Paladins and Chickens have in common?
They both go BoK BoK BoK!
For old World of Warcraft players:
A prot paladin, a ret paladin, and a holy paladin went trick-or-treating together. They approached a door, knocked, and were answered by an elderly woman. "Well, aren't you three cute, " she smiled, looking at each in turn. "And what are you supposed to be?" The paladins frowned and replied, "We have no idea."
A paladin sits down at a bar next to a warlock.
The paladin taps the warlock on the shoulder.
"What?," the warlock asks.
"How about you conjure me up something to drink?," replies the paladin. The warlock looks at the pally incredulously and says, "Man, have you got the wrong guy," and returns to drinking his beer in silence. The pally, taps the warlock on the shoulder again and says, "Well then, how about you conjure me up something to eat then?". The warlock, getting a little annoyed now, responds "If I can't conjure you up something to drink, what the HELL makes you think I can conjure you something to eat??. The warlock goes back to drinking in a huff and sure enough, the pally taps him on the shoulder one more time. "I'm sorry," he says, "but I thought you could do something for someone other then yourself". The warlock takes a sip of his beer, turns toward the paladin and smashes the bottle over his head. While he's bleeding on the floor, the warlock says "Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you could tank!"
Horrible WoW pickup line #37: You must be a priest, because I'm smitten!
How many rogues does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One to screw in the bulb, and 999 to post on forums claiming they could've done it better.
How does a rogue kill a (Any other World of Warcraft class)?
Pickpocket his hearth.
Yo mama's so fat, [Chain Lightning] hit her THREE TIMES!
A regiment of Stormwind's soldiers is in The Barrens. They see a Shaman, who quickly runs behind a mountain hoping to escape the regiment. The commander sends in two of his best men to kill the Shaman. After some time his men haven't returned. Disgruntled, the commander sends in twenty of his best men to kill that Shaman. More time passes, and none of them returns. After a while he orders *all* the rest of the regiment to kill that Shaman.
Some time after, the commander spots one of his men limping back to him.
He orders the soldier to tell him what happened.
"It was a trap, Sir! There were two of them!"
Yo mamas so fat, it takes 5 warlocks to summon her.
What does a noob and a rogue have in common?
They both pick locks.
How many warriors does it take to change a lightbulb?
One to change the plate gauntlets of the second.
One to order him to actually do it.
And one to bonk the paladin on the head that keeps casting Holy Light on the bulb so the warriors stop thinking it isn't broken.
Q: Why don't warriors get their weapons enchanted with Int?
A: They don't want their weapons to be smarter than they are.
Two dwarven riflemen are out in the woods when one of them collapses.
He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed.
The other dwarf whips out his Gnomish communication device and calls first aid service.
He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?".
The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."
There is a silence, then a shot is heard.
Back on the device, the guy says "OK, now what?"
A gnome that can't reach the doorbell.
How many Gnomes does it take to make a beanbag?
6. Well, maybe 7 if you squash them in a bit tighter.
How many Gnomes does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
Why don't you see more gnome players?
They're easily overlooked.
"I've killed dragons, a lot of hordes and countless other foes, I'm exalted with the entire Alliance faction, and many more, and you dare to tell me I cannot pass?"
"Sorry dude, you're still too small to ride the rollercoaster."
An orc walks into a bar with a parrot on its shoulder.
The bartender asks, "Where did you get that?"
The parrot says, "Durotar, they got 'em all over the place."
What would you call a Tauren Paladin? .... Holy Cow.
Two trolls are sitting in a tree as a human knight walks by underneath.
One troll turns to the other and says, "Darn.. canned food again!".
What do you call 1 troll on the moon? A problem. What do you call 10 trolls on the moon? A bigger problem. What do you call 100 trolls on the moon? A huge problem. What do you call ALL the trolls on the moon? Problem solved.
A troll, an orc, and a tauren all get captured by the Alliance for "trespassing". As punishment, they will all get 10 lashes from a whip, but they are allowed to put one thing on their back for protection.
The orc asks for a pillow. After 5 lashes, it rips open and he has to endure 5 remaining lashes.
The troll, seeing this, asks for 2 pillows and makes it through unharmed. While heading back to their cage, he points at the orc and makes fun of him.
And then it is the tauren's turn. He says, "Strap the troll to my back".
Q: Why didn't the forsaken cross the road with the chicken?
A: He didn't have the guts!
A tauren, a blood elf, and a forsaken are captured in a raid against the alliance and are taken to Tanaris and are stripped down into cloth armor. Their punishment is to cross the desert from one side to the other, if they die, so be it. If they survive, let that serve as a reminder. Each are allowed to take one thing with them. The tauren asks for a watermelon, "It'll keep me hydrated and give me food when I'm hungry". The blood elf asks for a coconut, "It will serve me the same purpose, just it's smaller". When asked, the forsaken looks at the tauren and blood elf, then asks, "Can i just have a fork?"
Bad WoW jokes
So bad they're funny? ... maybe not.
Thought the last pile of jokes were awful?
Nope, everything below this point on the page take the cake.
You play WoW so much... on my warlock when i cast drain on you it says, "Warning: Target has no life".
How many GMs does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Sorry, can't tell you. That would be considered a hint.
Three wives are sitting in the living room sipping tea and talking.
The first wife says, "My husband is a rogue and he likes to do it from behind."
The second wife giggles and says. "My husband is a Warrior... and he has Stamina to last all night."
Both the first and second wife start looking at the third wife, who gets red and embarrassed and says, "My husband is a mage and I HATE Polymorph."
(That one's very popular - got 2nd place for best joke.)
- Yo mamas so fat, she jumped in the arena and got stuck.
- Yo mamas so fat, she takes up 5 slots in a raid group.
- Yo mamas so fat, she IS the expansion.
- Yo mamas so fat, she gets stuck at Authenticating.
- Yo momma so fat, she gets hit by all 3 chain lightings.
- Yo momma so ugly she got mistaken for a murloc.
- Yo momma is so fat when she run she casts War Stomps
- Yo mamas so stupid, she thought the daily heroic was a sandwich.
And here's a few more bad WoW jokes!
Why did the murloc cross the road?
Because he was tied to the chicken.
I heard this in a raid group:
"You know you play too much WoW when your gf's pants have very low drop rate!"
I was going to take it off because it's that bad, but then I looked at the traffic stats for this World of Warcraft jokes page... a dozen people look it up every week. o_O
A murloc walks into a bar with a parrot on its head.
The bartender sees it and says, "Wow, that's pretty neat. Where did you get it?"
The murloc replies, "MGRLMGRLMGRLMGLRGMLGRLL!"
- Are you mace specced? Because you're stunning.
- Are those pants purple? Because your legs are epic!
Even the girl saying them below says, "These are terrible!".
Make something up, right now. The more terrible the better!