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Death Vigil: the Ultimate Zen Loss Experience

Updated on September 30, 2010
Mighty Mom profile image

Mighty Mom is a keen observer of life. She shares her personal experiences and opinions in helpful and often amusing ways.

The hours leading up to 1:23 am this morning are not a blur at all. They are remarkably clear. I recall details that would normally escape notice. I am acutely aware of what I was thinking and feeling daypart by daypart.  From the minute we left the house yesterday morning, I knew it wasn't just another trip to visit dad in the hospital. As others have said in their hubs about losing a loved one: I just knew.

With faith, you can walk through anything calmly.
With faith, you can walk through anything calmly.

Friday night I spoke with his sister in Connecticut. They are symbiotic, those two. She knew something was up. She said he seemed "not himself" the last time she spoike to him. Basically, she confirmed what my gut was telling me.

The signs were all there: sleeping more, eating less, losing interest in present activities. Confusing early childhood memories with recent events.

Still, we always hold out hope, don't we? If only they could get his gout- infected knee under control he could continue with his walking therapy. If only they could take him off the pain meds his appetite would return. I

And yet... in the back of my mind, I knew. I knew that he was getting ready to check out. I know he knew it, too.

My husband and I were sipping coffee in bed, luxuriating in a Sunday morning with no obligations. I planned to forego my usual Sunday visit with Dad in order to be there with my brother for a "care meeting" with his nursing home staff this morning. Something sparked Hubby to ask, "Have you talked to your dad today?" So I picked up the phone and called the facility.

They said Dad was incoherent, that my brother and the ambulance were both on the way.

Incoherence? This was just the latest symptom to be added to the list. Two weeks ago my dad was ambulatory, living more or less independently in a lovely senior retirement facility. Two weeks ago Sunday he suffered a fall and went to the hospital. Not fully recovered, he then went to a "rehab hospital" -- ostensibly to regain the strength in his legs.

From that day on, he declined. The change in his appearance was drastic. He lost both weight and muscle mass. His cheeks became sunken. He lost interest in eating and even in hearing about his beloved grandkids.

Taking Wing

I Spied a Snowy Egret

We quickly dressed and grabbed our overnight backpacks. We keep them perpetually packed for just such an occasion (and there have been many medically necessitated "sleepovers" in the past few years).

On the drive through Napa/Sonoma I happened to turn my head at exactly the right moment to spy a lone egret standing in a field. Immediately I knew it was an omen.

The Heron or Egret is symbolic in many cultures. In Egypt the Heron is honored as the creator of light. In Africa, the Heron was thought to communicate with the Gods. As a water bird, the heron is also a symbol of going with the flow, and working with the elements of Mother nature rather than struggling against her.

Clearly, this last symbol is exactly what we'd be encountering.

For a DNR (do not recussitate) patient, this is a lot of recussitation!
For a DNR (do not recussitate) patient, this is a lot of recussitation!

What are we trying to accomplish here?

Arriving at the Emergency Room I was shocked to see my dad's condition. His eyes, though open, were rolled upward. They had him on a breathing mask and were pumping fluids and antibiotics into him.

He was so dry they couldn't find a decent vein to pull a blood sample from. No urine was outputting from his catheter. To all appearances, his organs were engaged in a race to see which would shut down first.

I sat by his bedside and stroked his hair. I calmed him and told him if he was ready to go, it was ok. He'd talked to me extensively about not fearing death. He was adament he did not want to live to be "old" like some of the nonagenerians at Springfield Place. I can't say I blame him. In fact, for quite some time I've been feeling guilty that my dad's life is not as purpose-filled as it used to be. Not that that is my fault,  of course. Just sad that he was reduced to living so much through his kids and grandkids.

My sister and brother feel somewhat differently about it. My brother, god bless him, said as late as 8 pm that he thought Dad would "rally." I wasn't as kind as I could have been when I responded, "you DO?" My sister, the resident nurse of the family, is all about managing the caregivers. She talks tech with the nurses and docs, advising them of things they should or shouldn't do. She has this stern way of looking over the top of her glasses, combined with a slight "tsk" noise that lets you know she's NOT satisfied and you'd BETTER try harder.

So her objective yesterday was to push and push until the ER staff, and later the ICU staff, exhausted every measure.

By the time my dad moved into ICU at 5:30pm he had briefly shown improvement. He was able to sit up, recognize us, and even sip cola from a straw. But that didn't last. He regressed to his intake state and then degenerated from there.

My sister and the doctors explained the delicate balancing act they were attempting with drugs to kill the systemic infection vs. fluids to replenish him vs. drugs to keep his heart rate from dipping too low. It struck me as an exercise in futility. But I knew better than to suggest this to my siblings.

In the ICU he was hooked up to no fewer than five (!!) IV bags. The doctor continued to prescribe medication to keep his heart rate up, although on the natural it wanted to dip. Still no urine output. Still no response from Dad.


We All Process Differently

Here we were, the two people I had shared two parents and a home with during my formative years. And here I was, feeling (as always) like the odd sibling out. At least I had my husband there by my side.

I cannot find fault with their coping mechanism. Truth be told, they were frantically trying to decide whether to cancel a lacrosse tournament this weekend in Palm Springs. So as they sat hovered over their blackberries talking about players, coaches and travel arrangements, I had nothing to contribute. So I sat and prayed. And prayed some more. And then prayed aloud to my dad, just for good measure.


Watching the Monitors

Time is so surreal when you're in a hospital. At 6:30 it felt like 2a.m. When you're staring at a monitor for any sign of improvement, every minute feels like eternity.

My husband and I called it a night at 8:30 and headed to our hotel to get a few hours of sleep. The ICU nurse promised to call if there was any change. Knowing she was going off shift at 11 I called there at 10:40 and was told he was still the same. "Do you think he'll last the night?" I asked. She couldn't (or wouldn't) say.

I slept fitfully with my cell phone under my pillow. At 11:40 it rang. They said we should come. And so we did.

Legal Complications

My hubby, my brother and I met back in ICU. My sister had driven home -- too far to come back at that hour.

While Dad was "maxed out" on the meds he'd been given, the law requires the hospital to continue with chemical treatment unless the designated medical power of attorney (who of course is my sister) speaks directly to the doctor to change the treatment plan. This took some doing -- the doctor was busy in the ER. But we finally got the two of them on the phone together and decided to stop the blood pressure elevating drug.

Instead, we switched Dad to "comfort care." This consisted of a little bit of morphine and some atavan to ease any anxiety. Although I wondered if he hd been in pain all this time, I understand why they couldn't give him pain medication before. It's contraindicated for his low blood pressure.

Sure enough, shortly after the med switch, his numbers started dropping.

Last Rites

Dad's nurse heard me saying The Lord's Prayer by his bedside and offered to get a priest. Thank goodness -- I had been asking for that all day!

A lovely priest from Dad's parish named Zomo came out at about 12:30. We prayed together, he read scripture and made the sign of the cross on Dad's forehead. Even unconscious, I believe Dad knew he was being annointed.

The Power of Prayer

 When my mom died in 2005, my dad was not with her. At the exact moment of her death he was in church praying for the angels to take her.

I couldn't take my eyes off the monitor as the numbers crept ever downward. Hubby, however, continued praying. He told me later that he had been praying for the angels to come and when he opened his eyes, at that moment Dad's heartrate flatlined.

Coincidence? I think not.

A Burden is Lifted

The nurse pronounced him dead at 1:23 a.m. The vigil was over. He was at peace, and so were we.

Not quite knowing what else to do, we hugged my brother, then drove off into the night as if nothing extraordinary had happened.

Helping a Loved One Die

Have You Witnessed a Loved One's Death?

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    • Mighty Mom profile imageAUTHOR

      Susan Reid 

      8 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA

      Hello Zenani,

      I'm so glad you came by and found some solace in my hub. As you get more well known here you will experience the same love and support -- that's what we are all about!

      There are a couple of hubbers who have written about the experience of losing their husbands/fiances. Pachica213, Mistyhorizon, and Trish, to name a few.

      Check them out and connect.

      Meantime, bless you in your healing. Keep writing about your feelings! MM

    • Zenani profile image


      8 years ago

      MM today I was sitting here thinking about my husband whom you know went to be with the Lord just five weeks ago. Reading your hub and your wonderful fans love and support made me just glad that I have joined the Hub Family. I sat back and just enjoyed having everyone's love and encouragement to you flow over me.

      Thank you for writing this Hub; very uplifting.

      Bless you.

    • Mighty Mom profile imageAUTHOR

      Susan Reid 

      8 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA

      Yikes, that's a powerful story. You've got enough there to write your own hub -- I hope you do!

      Sorry to hear about your stepdad. It is a shame (not sure if it has legal ramifications) that your stepdad wasn't checked out more thoroughly. And that they didn't do an autopsy -- that should definitely have been done and does give a lot of helpful information.

      I am pondering your reaction to his death. Of course you were quite young and "death" is different in some ways when you're young. I do like the laughing idea. Wish I could pull that one off. Kinda tough, tho, when you're supposed to be an adult role model and all!

      I will look forward to seeing you randomly pop up on my hubs. Given how random my hubs are, seems like a good "plan" doesn't it? Take care now, MM

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      After commenting on your don't smoke, SNUS! article, i figured i'd comment on some others. Sorry to hear about your loss. My step-dad died of a stroke or clogged artery, don't know which, when i was 11. One night my stepdad and mom were sitting on the bed and he complained that his feet were cold, he was a hairy man and his body was always the correct temperature. So she took him to the hospital and they did a lower body check for any clogs and never found any, later we bitched over the fact that they didn't check his upper body. She brought him back home and of course within a few days we found him dead by the couch. It was a normal day at school for me and my brother, and a good day at work for my mom. She had gotten off of work, picked me and my brother up at our babysitter's house and was going to pick up my stepdad at our house so he could make it to his ciropractor's appointment. We got to the house and found him face down on the carpet next to the couch already purple and with a shattered nose. Funny thing is an hour before the coroner said he died, he had called my mom just to say hi and to say he was going to take a nap after he got off the phone. All they managed to say after the autopsy was that he smoked a pipe, they didn't try to look for anything else, just that. What a shock!, my way off coping is to laugh, and laugh i did, even at his funeral. I got over the death in 1 week that way... I do feel bad though because at the funeral people expected crying, i laughed at their pain at the loss. That's my story and i'll be randomly popping up on your hub's from now onward.

    • Mighty Mom profile imageAUTHOR

      Susan Reid 

      9 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA

      Dear Denny, Your comment blows me away. Not only do you totally "get it" but you got it at such a young age. That's incredible. I am at the age where death is more of a regular occurrence -- parents especially. Looking, as you say, at quality of life is essential. My dad had deteriorated to the point where he really had lost that. And then, what's the point?

      I give you a lot of credit for being so wise about the circle of life. I don't know if my hubby and I are all that -- we're just doing what we think is right. It's tough not to get mad and frustrated with others (siblings) for having different agendas and abilities. But we're working on it.

      I think the biggest thing I've learned here is not to be afraid. That's a huge, huge part of faith -- God's in charge and God's got it dialed in:-).

      Thanks for visiting. MM

    • Denny Lyon profile image

      Denny Lyon 

      9 years ago from Baton Rouge, Louisiana, USA

      Wonderfully written as it was wonderfully lived.  I'm sure your father was glad to have someone spiritually strong enough not to hold on too tight.  So many people have a really tough time letting go of the loved one only making it more difficult for them as they feel they must linger, even when in terrible pain or lacking quality of life. 

      Hopefully, many hundreds more will read this heartfelt hub and learn a bit more about how to let go.  When I first learned how to let go the one thought I kept uppermost in my mind was this:  What is best for the dying/ill person? 

      Setting aside my own needs made letting go so much easier when the time came.  I learned that as an eleven year old child when my mother was dying.  I had to practically pry off my father and older brother who were just thinking only of themselves rather than Mom's needs. 

      An unselfish life is actually an easier life to live with a lot less soul/emotional pain.  You and your husband, with your faith, are really something!

    • Mighty Mom profile imageAUTHOR

      Susan Reid 

      9 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA

      Dear Barbie, I was praying the Lord's Prayer over my dad and asked the angels to come and fill the room. They did. A beautiful, peaceful passing of his spirit. Many people do not see it this way or don't understand. I can tell by your comment you do. Thank you. And thank you for the prayers. MM

    • Barbie-Perkins profile image


      9 years ago from Cincinnati, OH


      My deepest sympathy for the loss of your father and not long ago for the loss of your mother.

      Dec 28, 2006, at 10:45am we sang and prayed and told my dad it was OK for him to go into the loving arms of Jesus. He left us around 10:55am. It is difficult to let go, but knowing he is with Jesus gives peace beyond understanding.

      I will keep you and your family in prayer. 

      God Bless!  ~ Barbie Perkins

    • ajcor profile image


      9 years ago from NSW. Australia

      Dear Mighty Mom - You know your name really suits you! I am so sorry for your loss, it's hard one that's for sure....especially on top of your mother dying such a short time before. .. I have often heard of the giving of permission for people to go - my sister-in-law worked for many (25?) years as a hospice nurse in Florida and has much experience in this area... and when my mother -in -law died 4 years ago we all stayed with her until the end - overnight in her room and it was hard and beautiful all that the same time - she told us she loved us and her children gave her permission to go and indeed she went peacefully - I feel that my own father (who died when I was 5) has been around me all my life and when I was a child I often talked to him.. my thoughts are with you and yours at this hard time.....go well.

      ps. I loved your "flying ever upwards" egret/heron symbol..i hadn't heard of that before.

    • Mighty Mom profile imageAUTHOR

      Susan Reid 

      9 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA

      Dear Goldentoad, I am honored that you chose to return to read my hub. If it has in any way helped you to recognize any of your feelings, then it has done its job! I encourage you to write you own hub about your experience(s) either just about losing your grandparents and/or about growing up as a rebel with grandparents instead of parents in your late high school years.

      My son and I have bonded now that he is out of immediate danger. He knows I love him unconditionally and he also knows that he CAN do better. He has the tools to choose self-love. He can choose to emulate his mom, who has made that choice in her own life. Or he can suffer and live in unhappiness. At least now he has the choice, and he knows it. That's progress!

      I look forward to reading your hubs. Keep processing through writing. It's amazing how much better you feel after spilling your guts!

    • goldentoad profile image


      9 years ago from Free and running....

      I admit, when I first came across your hub, in the first couple on sentences, I knew I was done for, as there are tremendous similarities between our stories, and but I told myself, better skip it for later. But I went back, because it is a matter of confrontation, and I hope to write my own hub about my own experience in more detail when I have figured out what it all means.

      As far as your son goes, just make sure you don't give up on him, because you may be his only chance to believe he can do better.

    • Mighty Mom profile imageAUTHOR

      Susan Reid 

      9 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA

      Goldentoad, I'm so glad to see you jumping right in on HP -- your comments on various hubs are always very personal and thoughtful. What you wrote above really struck a chord with me, for several reasons. Most obviously, the timing between your grandma and your grandpa's passing -- pretty close together. Just like my mom and dad. And I realize from reading your words that I am in for a big emotional confrontation, too. Not sure if I have completely processed my mom's passing or not. But know that I've been "pre-grieving" for my dad for awhile (if such a thing is possible).

      I am thinking of you driving along the PCH. I spent some time there this spring, as my own son has been through quite a rebellious phase himself. He was in a program in Malibu and I wore a groove up and down the PCH during my visits! I hope he turns out as well as you, Goldentoad!

      Thank you for sharing your own personal experience. It really helps. MM

    • goldentoad profile image


      9 years ago from Free and running....

      MM, My grandparents were my inspiration as I lived with them in my final years of high school- I was a true rebel but they didn't turn their backs on me like everyone else, including my parents. Two years ago, my grandma passed and it hurt bad, but I tucked the pain away and went back to work immediately. Six weeks ago, my grandfather passed, a day after my son's birthday. I had visited him a weekend before that in the hospital and felt he had made peace with everyone and that he was going to be okay for awhile longer. When he passed a week later, I was at work in the middle of giving directions to the office and I took the call, knowing it may be the call I dreaded. I couldn't say anything else to the staff and immediately left work, took a cruise along PCH, stopped and had a hamburger and a beer at a tucked away spot I knew. I realized I hadn't yet confronted my grandma's passing and now that my grandpa passed, it all hit at once. I know this was a tough hub to post and thank you for sharing it.

    • Mighty Mom profile imageAUTHOR

      Susan Reid 

      9 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA

      Hi Marian, Thank you for your condolences. It's easier to continue with life as it is than to stop and just do nothing but succomb to sadness. I know that time is coming, but right now there is too much still to do both for the funeral arrangements and for my own households and others!

      CW -- You are so beautiful. I hope you don't deprive yourself in any way this holiday season. They are meant to be enjoyed -- just like the company of good friends! MM

    • Marian Swift profile image

      Marian Swift 

      9 years ago from San Francisco Bay Area

      Deep condolences on your loss. And deep admiration for your gracious giving and celebrating at such a time.

      I suspect that your Dad enjoyed the festivities.

      Thank you, MightyMom, for sharing this.

    • countrywomen profile image


      9 years ago from Washington, USA

      MM- 5k event is not only a great way to start but also is a noble thing to do to raise charity (that too the largest) to spread the joy and happiness around during these holidays. This Thanksgiving went to a friends place and had dinner there but I just hope I manage to stick to my diet resolutions between now and new year...LOL

    • Mighty Mom profile imageAUTHOR

      Susan Reid 

      9 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA

      Hello again dear friends. Hope everyone had an enjoyable Thanksgiving. It was somewhat easier for me in that my brother and sister and their kids went out of town to Palm Springs. So we didn't have a holiday with a big empty chair and the head of the table where my dad should be. I went to my husband's family's and it was nice. The 5k event is an AWESOME fundraiser for Sacramento Food Bank. I hear it is the largest Thanksgiving Day run/walk in the U.S. There were more than 30,000 runners/walkers! Given that kind of crowd, it took 20 mins just to get to the starting line. But I enjoyed myself and had a nice bonding experience with my friend and her 3-year-old daughter. Good start to the holiday!

    • Mighty Mom profile imageAUTHOR

      Susan Reid 

      9 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA

      Hello again dear friends. Hope everyone had an enjoyable Thanksgiving. It was somewhat easier for me in that my brother and sister and their kids went out of town to Palm Springs. So we didn't have a holiday with a big empty chair and the head of the table where my dad should be. I went to my husband's family's and it was nice. The 5k event is an AWESOME fundraiser for Sacramento Food Bank. I hear it is the largest Thanksgiving Day run/walk in the U.S. There were more than 30,000 runners/walkers! Given that kind of crowd, it took 20 mins just to get to the starting line. But I enjoyed myself and had a nice bonding experience with my friend and her 3-year-old daughter. Good start to the holiday!

    • countrywomen profile image


      9 years ago from Washington, USA

      MM- I wish you, your family and your father in spirit a very happy thanksgiving. Hope you did well in your 5k run. Iam sure you spread the joy around wherever you are and represent the true spirit of these holidays. You too are my special friend dear. And I am glad you like my poems.

    • Pam Roberson profile image

      Pam Roberson 

      9 years ago from Virginia

      Thank you for sharing this experience with us. Losing your mother and father within such a short amount of time of each other must be so difficult. I hope that each day brings you more and more strength to feel less pain over the loss of your father. You're a very strong person to be able to write about pain that is so fresh. I admire you for that and hope that you were able to enjoy Thanksgiving today or that it was at least a time for you and your family to simply be together.

      {{{Mighty Mom}}}

    • mistyhorizon2003 profile image

      Cindy Lawson 

      9 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

      Relax MM, he is around you, and I am sure you will get signs that he is. Any loss is painful (you are right), but it all happens for a reason, and you will be able to pass on this to other people, and good will come out of this I am sure, no matter how hard it is to see that right now .

    • Mighty Mom profile imageAUTHOR

      Susan Reid 

      9 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA

      CW, Thank you! Happy Thanksgiving is absolutely an appropriate thing to say! I am celebrating the holiday in my Dad's honor, just as if he was here. Because he IS here -- just in a different form! Thank you so much for your lovely words and your wonderful POEMS on the forum. You are a very special friend!

      Misty -- I have to tell you, not long ago I read your hub about your husband's death. I read it slowly and carefully and was inspired. Your words gave me courage to face what I knew in my heart was coming. A parent is not the same as a husband, but loss is painful no matter what. I really appreciate having my global hub circle of friends. You have all been more comfort to me than you know!


    • mistyhorizon2003 profile image

      Cindy Lawson 

      9 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

      I am so sorry to hear this MM, and it is hard to offer any words that will comfort you at this time. For what it is worth, when my Late Husband was told he only had between 6 weeks and 6 months to live, (and ended up dying after 2 weeks), his first words were, "When your times up, it's up". The Doctor even said to him "I hope if ever I am given news like this Mr Pearce, I take it as well as you have". I think we all have a timespan to be here, whatever it might  be, days, weeks or years. When the hourglass runs out, that is your time, and no-one can change that.

      I try to see death in these circumstances as a reward for a good life lead, and God's way of finally taking away the suffering.

      I am sure your Dad is still around you and will be for the rest of your life until it is your time to join him.

      My sympathies and prayers are with you.

    • countrywomen profile image


      9 years ago from Washington, USA

      MM- I didn't realize about your mom too. It really is a tough time and I don't know what to say because I can't even imagine such a day. May God give you strength and hope your father's soul rests in peace. I don't know whether i should say happy thanksgiving at such a time. But my thoughts and prayers are with you in this testing times.

    • Mighty Mom profile imageAUTHOR

      Susan Reid 

      9 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA

      Hi TenderlyYours, I love your hubname! And it really fits you, based on the very wise and tender comments you left for me. I really like what you said about the moments of visitation you now have with your dad. I have those with my mom, and will soon start having them with dad also. It's nice to be able to learn from people who've been through it before!

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      "Sleep on Daddy, take your rest, we love you, but GOD loves you best!"  This is what we put in our hearts to our daddy.  I am a daddy's girl and I yet miss my daddy, the way I knew him down here.  I have a special relationship with him now, I know that the LORD loves both of us enough to allow us some visitations.  Welcome yours and be sensiitve to them,  If you loved each other, and I believe you did, he does come to you.  The moments that overwhelmn you and the tears flow, usually, that is the time when dad is around.  We tend to feel emotionally overwhelmned when those times come.  Sweetie, do you think that the reason your daddy was free to go with the angels is because you accepted his passing and was ok with it; the egret, and heron and all? Your sister was not ready and was resisting and denying it. I have heard that a loved one will linger when someone he loves is near and holding on to him. Just an interesting thought. Blessings, peace, JESUS' LOVE to you.  I know of no loved ones' near death; however, I will rely upon this experience to help me through any furture experiences.  GOD BLESS YOU AND YOURS!

    • Earth Angel profile image

      Earth Angel 

      9 years ago

      Blessings to you and yours MM . . . Thank you for sharing such a loving and intimate experience . . . I have been bedside with many loved ones making their transition . . . It is an honor . . . Blessings always, Earth Angel . . .

    • Misha profile image


      9 years ago from DC Area

      peace be with him...

    • Mighty Mom profile imageAUTHOR

      Susan Reid 

      9 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA

      Thank you all, dear hubber friends. I appreciate your comments and support. As I look back, we have had many false alarms for this final moment. My dad went into the hospital quite often -- each time "dodging a bullet" as we would say. But each time he emerged a little weaker. Knowing what I have known about HIS wishes vis a vis death, I wonder if we did the right thing in foisting so much medical intervention on him these other times.

      As I think about the events of this weekend, the "zen" part for me is accepting that this is THE time. But more important, it's accepting my siblings' right to process the situation in their own way. I don't judge them for wanting to do more, or for anything else. They are amazingly strong and supportive people also. We just all have different ways of expressing our care and love.

      So far, it's been a model of cooperation in planning the funeral. But... my hubby warned me last night to expect some fallout either at or after the funeral when nerves are raw. I know. And I'm already praying about that! Thanks again!

    • Storytellersrus profile image


      9 years ago from Stepping past clutter

      Now your dad will be with you even more because you will carry him in your heart. Love to you.

    • Dottie1 profile image


      9 years ago from MA, USA

      I feel your pain and your peace, Mighty Mom. God Bless.

    • Em Writes profile image

      Em Writes 

      9 years ago from Upstate NY

      You really are amazing... to endure all you've endured lately is no small feat. Again, I'm so sorry for your father's passing.

    • Gods Child profile image

      Gods Child 

      9 years ago from New Orleans, La

      I know exactly how you are feeling. I read your Hub very carefully and I know the emotions that you are feeling at this time. I could understand your siblings emotions but so much more so your own. I knw that you are at peace because you know he is at peace. You have done an excellent job here and your faith is so evident in this Hub. God Bless you and your husband.

    • sixtyorso profile image

      Clive Fagan 

      9 years ago from South Africa

      Mighty Mom you are strong beyond measure and must allow yourself some soul time.For Now be at peace with the good memories of your dad and his life.

      Bless you.

    • Shalini Kagal profile image

      Shalini Kagal 

      9 years ago from India

      Heartfelt condolences MM - your prayers would have been his peacebearers to the other side.

    • KT pdx profile image

      KT pdx 

      9 years ago from Vancouver, WA, USA


    • Mighty Mom profile imageAUTHOR

      Susan Reid 

      9 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA

      Thanks, Justmesuzanne. Catharsis!

    • justmesuzanne profile image


      9 years ago from Texas

      Lovely article. I am sorry for your loss.


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