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10 New Year's Resolutions You Shouldn't Make

Updated on December 27, 2009

Promiscuity

Spend Less

Enhance Family Ties

Stop Procrastinating

Be Environmentally Conscious

Exercise

Give to Charity

Go to Church

Find a Job

Why bother?

Pledging resolutions to change your ways for the new year is a waste of time. Basically, these are vices that annoyed your conscious enough to feel a bit of guilt or shame about, but not enough to motivate you to stop the habit.

Here's 10 reasons to save yourself a little insanity:

  1. Cold-turkey cession of smoking, drinking or overeating: Let's face it, you didn't start these bad habits in the previous year. They have been a part of your life for countless years. What makes you think you can stop at the drop of a hat? Granted, there are some very determined people who can, but why torture yourself? Try minimizing the number of times you partake in these habits each week and gradually move down to less frequency each day. Hey, babies must be weened from mother's milk!
  2. Promiscuity: If you are a sex addict, you won't stop liking or wanting sex with many people simply because someone called you out and embarrassed you. Try covering your tracks better.
  3. Spend Less: The best way to solve this hangup is to keep spending your money! Not with credit cards, this isn't your money. Just spend up all of your cash until you have none. This way you can't spend anymore. Problem solved.
  4. Get Along Better With Friends/Family: You have little control over this. You've tried to win that cousin who hates you over with bribes, presents, etc. and he/she just doesn't respond...forget it! Put that energy into creating new friendships.
  5. Stop Procrastinating: We all have been lazy at one point or another. Better to leave it alone and let it work itself out. Sometimes ignoring it can even be healthy. Just look at the way governments are run. Nothing gets accomplished until someone sues, dies or looses a lot of money.
  6. Be More Environmentally Conscious: If you pledge to buy a hybrid car, plant a garden or lessen your carbon footprint, that's a nice gesture but that won't make a darn difference in the larger scheme of things. Use your power to vote and remove those clowns from office who are paid by lobbyists to keep the earth dirty and depleted.
  7. Exercise: Unless you plan to do this in the sanctity of your own home, you can hang this up too. You'll get going sure enough, but later drop it like it's hot once you experience the constant muscle and joint pain (even after you shape up) and humiliation of your flab being critiqued by that judgmental crowd of perfect abs.
  8. Give to Charity: This one I would recommend, only if you have extra and your home's needs are taken care of first. Nothing worse than a "big-hearted" person giving away what they can't afford or stuff their own family should have benefited from.
  9. Go to Church: Folks, going to church more often than at Christmas and Easter will not keep you from the fire and brimstone of hell. Think of it this way, how would you feel if I came to your house every Sunday, sat down and ate dinner and then left? Never once speaking to you or even offering to bring something. Try establishing a relationship first.
  10. Find a Better Job: This is a no brainer...there aren't any. Use whatever talents you have to create a diverse number of alternative income sources for yourself. Google is the answer to your dreams!

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    • 2patricias profile image

      2patricias 

      8 years ago from Sussex by the Sea

      There are a few little gems in your 10 things NOT to resolve. We particularly like your comment about going to church - you are so right about the need to establish a relationship first.

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