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10 Reasons To Not Attend A Fair

Updated on July 29, 2014

Welcome to the Fair Grounds!

A few times a year, every town or city is excited to welcome a new fair to town. They set up camp in a local mall parking-lot or fair grounds and stay open all week. The smell of rather questionable food items begins to drift in the air, and the rides are up and running in ten minutes flat. The electric cords drape across the ground and assist every flashing bulb light-up the surrounding sky as the trashcans quickly overflow onto the sidewalk. Hundreds of people flood the gates, all sweaty and hungry for adventure.

Does this sound like your kind of crowd? Read our top ten reasons why you shouldn't participate in any fair ever again, and some reasons may surprise you.

County Fair
County Fair

#10: Games are Rigged

Everyone wants to knock the pins over or toss a ring on the clown to win a giant teddy bear for their loved one, but how often does this happen? Sometime the rings are too narrow to even properly fit over the obstacle you're throwing at. The balloons you are trying to pop are made of extremely thick rubber and are rather difficult to pop unless you take a BB gun to it. Ultimately, this side attractions are great ways for boys and men to attempt to look gallant for their dates, but in reality you are just going to end up broke with each attempt you make. These booths are quick and easy ways for the company to make a lot of money off of its participants.

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#9: Faulty Rides

If you have ever been lucky enough to watch the fair ground be put together, you know that most of these rides are similar to the pages in a pop-up book. The ride workers simply open the trailer and the ride pops up. They add a few extra bolts to hold the weight, and there you go, a large ride ready to swing 15 to 20 people at a time upside town and in fast circles. The equipment used at these fairs are rarely replaced, and while they do have regular maintenance, this only includes greasing the tracks and the brakes from time-to-time. When a ride squeaks and groans and wobbles the entire time it is in motion, it should definitely not be trusted.

#8: The Germs

Germs are a serious problem in the majority of public places, but fairs can be the worst. In this type of crowded, external gathering of people, where proper hygiene is not a concern, germs spread like crazy. There are portable potties available for use and a sink with soap is rarely ever in sight. Sometimes there is germ-X available at food stands. People wipe sweat off with their hands or wipe runny noses and handle the same railings to climb onto the rides as you will. The couple ahead of you probably licked their fingers after devouring a rather sugary funnel cake and now it's your turn to push open the same gate to get onto the Ferris wheel. Thousands of viruses and bacteria linger on the railings and handles of these rides and games and each person picks them up and leaves some of their own. These germs can be the root cause of upper respiratory infections, flu, or at best the common cold. Germs are everywhere!

#7: The ... Entertainment?

Often the fair hosts a variety of entertainment shows to give a little something different to the crowd. This can include a small circus act, or rodeo, or perhaps even a few go-kart races. These entertainment shows are very nerve-wracking. More times then not, the entertainers aren't certified or even an expert in the act that they do. We are lucky if they have practiced the act more than a few times. Watching a circus that travels with the fair makes me grip my hands together until they turn white. Mainly my fear is for their safety, but also because the lack of laughter is more impressive than the stunts. I'm glad these side acts are free, I'd hate to see the riots of people demanding their money back.

#6: The unaccompanied Children

Like the mall, many parents drop their kids off at the local fair so they can spend a few hours alone without paying for a babysitter. Walking the fair grounds with your spouse or your best friend proves difficult as kids run past you, almost knocking you over. It doesn't seem like rules or being polite matters if you're under the age of 18. These kids will cut in line, curse, and make rather dramatic scenes about their boyfriends when we really couldn't care less. Fairs aren't like what they use to be when you could go expecting to have a beautiful and peaceful time, it has become a daycare.

#5: The Ride Workers

Not that I feel perplexed about whether or not I should go to the fair, but it automatically makes me regret it when the workers don't look or sound like they want to be there either. It is understandable that you are going to be doing the same repetitive things for 14 hours a day and for seven straight days at a time. However, my experience is not made better by your frowns or angrily barked instructions on how to not step onto a ride. I don't think I have seen a fair ground ride worker that looked happy to be there. The ones in the game booths don't count because they have to be personable to make money. It makes me even depressed for you for making you do your job and make sure I am safe.

#4: The Vomit

It never fails, if you don't get sick, someone else will. If you don't see it, you will almost surely nearly step in it. If you don't find it on the ground you will smell it, or hear it. Many of these rides are vomit-makers. The way they spin and toss a person around makes it difficult not to make a person seriously nauseous. The horrible fair food; the corn-dogs, funnel cakes, fried Oreos & Twinkies, can make anyone regret their digestive intake. Climbing into a ride that is going to spin you and throw you isn't exactly a cure. Besides, there is the worst case scenario, where the person beside you or in front gets sick and you find yourself ducking for your life. But the little girl on the other side of you isn't so lucky, and begins to cry, and daddy has to come get her off the ride because she is covered in some gross that's not hers. I've seen it...

#3: The Lines

The best time to go to the fair is at night. The lights are bright and of every color, and the view from the Ferris wheel is often breath-taking. Of course, everyone else knows this too. School is out and people are off work and the fair grounds tend to become crowded. The lines are long and often wrap around other rides. Sometimes they line-up across the path and people are having to make there way through the lines and decipher which line is for which ride. Ultimately, the fair is a waiting game. Waiting in line, waiting for the ride to start, waiting and hoping the ride will end, waiting for the bathroom, waiting to order food, or waiting for the show to start. Lines at the fair are my least favorite because they are filled with hormonal impatient teenagers, and the heat of the summer tends to only make attitudes worse.

#2: The Questionable Food

Possibly the most scariest thing in the world is fair food. The food sold at the fair is very unhealthy. The food is heated or fried and covered in either salt, butter, or sugar. The polish sausages that you order are raw and frozen on the inside still, and the deep fried cookie dough that you ordered comes at the expense of a young girl's forearm. It's difficult for me to enjoy my food if it has injured someone. The booths that sell food can be filled volunteers looking to make a quick fundraiser and have never been trained in food preparation. The food sold at fairs are a curious thing. I think the health departments from each city should approve their food preparation an storage before it is sold to the public. Otherwise it is super simple to get food poison in a hurry.

#1: The Portable Potties

The worst part about going to the fair is going to the small ones that only have portable toilets for you to use. There are no sinks available to wash your hands and no toilet seat covers to use. The 'porta-potties' have tiny windows at the top and no air is let in. A person often has to sit in the hot enclosed area breathing in the same air and activity that took place before them. You will never notice if the toilet paper is out until you get in there, and there will always be a kid who can't read that it is occupied, and will knock and knock and pull on your door handle. This becomes a nauseating rushed performance so you don't suffocate in the smell of another person's excretions or have a surprise exposure from the 8 year-old really needing to pee.

A person may still enjoy the fair and the little things it has to offer. However, it has been an experience that has never been one that I have ever really wanted to remember. You may still want to go and enjoy the fair but just remember our top ten reasons why you should probably just rent a movie instead.

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    • Penny G profile image

      Penny Godfirnon 3 years ago from Southern Iowa

      Well I guess people do a lot of crazy things in the name of fun. I guess it's just once a year and those who go really don't care about any of this. I actually do care and have thought of all this, and more in fact. Millions of people a year survive it, like it and look forward to it. Your hub was an eye opener to a lot of people, but I bet they'll still go.

    • Victoria Baughman profile image

      Victoria Baughman 3 years ago from Michigan

      I love that your wrote a hub about the fair. My husband and I debate going to the different fairs every summer. I would rather go somewhere much cleaner, but he is attracted to them. This summer he sucked me into going and it was more work than enjoyment. I was constantly washing the kids hands and telling them to stay away from the workers, who seemed to be excessively high on drugs. I was frightened to let them get on rides because I thought "My gosh, how do I let two children get on a ride when the worker is clearly intoxicated". On the other hand, my husband and children loved every bit of it and I have to admit, that caramel apple and a taste of an elephant ear brought back so many childhood memories.

    • Laura335 profile image

      Laura Smith 3 years ago from Pittsburgh, PA

      I've skipped my local fair for a few years now. I always feel bad for not going, but then whenever I do go down, I'm ready to leave within five minutes. So, it's just one of those places that you go just to go. Very funny Hub.

    • Thelma Alberts profile image

      Thelma Alberts 3 years ago from Germany

      Yikes! I have never thought about those negative reasons on having fun in a fair. Thanks for sharing.

    • suzettenaples profile image

      Suzette Walker 3 years ago from Taos, NM

      I only remember the fairs from my youth where I had fun and didn't notice all the 'adult things' you write about here. I think I will keep with my memories.

    • Alphadogg16 profile image

      Kevin W 3 years ago from Texas

      It's been a very long time since I've went to a fair, my kids are older so they are not interested in them anymore. I may not ever see one again.... Unless I get some grandchildren.

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 3 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Oh YUK......Say no more. You have surely convinced me to bypass the Fair!! I loved them as a kid.....and then begrudgingly went for years because my kids would want to go....

      It truly is a racket, dirty, germy and smelly......Hmmmm, makes me wonder why we ever liked them!

      Your hub is excellent and I'm grateful you shared these accurate facts about the good ole annual Count Fair! People need to realize these things....Up++

    • Marilyn Gentry profile image

      Marilyn Gentry 3 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      I love the fair. The games are really enjoyable, tough challenges of the games but that's what I exactly want. Just like CyberShelley, I don't like the toilets and the crowds. LOL.

    • CyberShelley profile image

      Shelley Watson 3 years ago

      Love the fair only dislike the toilets, and the crowds. The rest is quite fun! Come to think of it the movie is a good idea LOL. Up, interesting and useful.