10 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Listen To Your Parents
Parents can be right about many things which they learned from the experiences and mistakes they have made in their own lives. The things they teach you are very valuable and will help you live a better more fulfilling life. Yet, we also forget that just because your parents are the ones that raised you does not mean their right about everything. They can be wrong, uneducated, controlling and even selfish. These are things that are part of what make them human; these imperfections that don’t simply go away when they become parents. They are trying their best but sometimes you really shouldn’t listen to your parents but rather listen to yourself.
Parents can be biased towards their own plight in life. To what they think is best suited for you. They want to have you share their bias whether it be about class, race, religion. They have these predetermined ideas of what is good or bad and expect you to adhere to their biased ideas of these things. Though they mean well, they don’t intend to coddle you or make you into mini versions of themselves. All they really want is what’s best for you but sometimes it comes out in ways that are less then positive.
In our modern world many people are taking the opportunity to learn more about society and the world around them. Allowing their opinions to change and alter to be more inclusive, to help us all move forward. But, there are some parents who don’t take that time, who don’t bother being educated about things that have changed. That could be regarding racist, or homophobic opinions but also jobs and life and just existing in the time we do. They don’t see that creative fields can be an actual career, they struggle to see any other path then the ones they were taught. Parents want to be there for you, want to help you know success but sometimes that success is not what you want, that path isn’t yours and you have to put your foot down and state what you want even if it's hard for them.
We don’t realize that selfishness is something we’re all capable of; even the people we least expect it from. Maybe it’s due to them wanting us to be what they could never be, maybe they want the bragging rights, whatever the reason, parents can want you to succeed or follow their rules due to selfishness. Not all parents are like this, some just have selfish moments like we all do. But, many parents also can be selfish for big things in our lives. Trying to impose their own dreams onto us to fulfill or trying to out do their siblings. Trying to prove that they are better while having no consideration for their children’s needs because their only thinking of themselves. Selfishness is something easy to not notice, to ignore but it shouldn’t be. Just because life has been planned for you by other people doesn’t mean you have to follow that laid out plan.
Wanting Your Happiness For the Wrong Reasons
Sometimes the people you love the most and the ones you care about most don’t support you for the right reasons. They want you happiness for their own gain and it makes you feel small to have someone be not genuine to you. Especially when your close to them or trust them a great deal. Parents sometimes want your happiness for reasons explicitly their own and that is a struggle to deal with. But do the things you want to add to your own happiness not their own.
We all want control and for a lot of people lack of control is a very scary thing. But, we can’t control life, or what happens in it. The same goes for people; we are as individuals, unpredictable. We do things, say things, react and act in different and varied ways. It’s what makes us unique. However, people still try to control each other on a large scale but also on a much smaller one. We want people to do what we want them to do because we think were right but that's not always the case. A lot of parents have this issue with control, their so used to being the ones steering your life for so many years that when you start taking making your own decisions they don’t know what to do. Many parents try to hold on tighter and that causes friction, anger etc. They do this out of fear, and worry but it’s ultimately harmful. Control is something everyone should have and it’s not their right to take it away. It’s hard for them to see that but you have control over the life you lead.
We as a society, place so many rules for kids to follow that parents enforce. Rules that are limiting and suffocating at times. But we listen to our parents because of course they know what’s best for us. We never question until we're older that maybe that’s not true. In society we praise the obedient child and the ones who are good listeners to their parents. Which is justified because those can be good things but they also can be made. We become dependant on our parents for that guidance and we lose any sense of our own identity. Being independent and following your own rules; not societies and not your parents ones is the way to living a good life.
Everyone has expectations placed on them by the people in their lives. We all expect people to act or be a certain way and are disappointed when they fall short of those expectations. We want people to meet our impression of them and when that impression or idea is shattered or altered we don’t tend to like it. Parents are also at fault of doing this; they have this idea of who their child is and when that preconceived version of them ends up being false they to react in anger or disappointment. But, expectations are simply who people think you are not who you are. Even if you have everyone telling you to be someone your not it’s your right to break those ideas of yourself be who you actually.
Choosing to go your own way is scary but traditions aren’t always there for good reasons. Sometimes they were made out of fear or expectation, traditions are made for certain lives but not all people lead the same lifestyle. Some people have different futures and the traditions they grew up on don’t fit into those futures. It’s important to show your family that you can still live a good life without these traditions. Not fitting that set mold isn’t bound to ruin you but can make you better than you ever thought possible.
You Are Your Own Person
It’s hard to remember sometimes that you have autonomy over yourself and that at the end of the day you have the final say in your life. There are so many voices from other people telling you who to be and what to be that it’s difficult to hear your own voice over it all. Parents can try to make you listen to their voice and opinion alone trying to drown out you in the process so you can be what they want. But, you are you for a reason and for a good reason. You should be able to pursue what you want and be able to hold the reins in life.
Dreams Are Worth Pursuing
The weird thing is that we often forget as we grow up about the dreams we once latched onto. Dreams that we used to put so much value in, one that we used to believe with so much passion. But, as we grow older; people you care about can make you believe that what you want isn’t worth pursuing, isn’t worth the risk. That’s when you realize that not everyone is going to support you. This can make you give up your dream, make it seem hopeless but it shouldn’t. If your passionate enough about something and you know this will add greatly to your happiness why not pursue it? You’ll always have people telling you not to do something but you are your own person and your dreams and the things you want are worth going after.
© 2018 Jessica Matos