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10 Repulsive Bodily Functions: Necessary Evils

Updated on March 22, 2017
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Mary Ann is a freelance writer and the author of four books. She's also a member of a premier writing community.


Earwax or cerumen secretions that build up in the ear canal is a necessary evil. This gooey, waxy, gross function actually has protective properties. As much as people don’t want to talk about it, earwax essentially shields the ear canal with unwanted invaders.

Possible invaders are just as gross. Dust, bacteria, micro-organisms and even insects (ewww) would be able to enter the ear if it was for the defending earwax. Impacted earwax can cause temporary hearing loss when it lies against the eardrum. How could something that huge come from your ear? This guy must’ve been deaf for a while.




Mucus, the slippery, slimy excretion is not just found in your nose, but also your mouth, sinuses, throat, lungs, and gastrointestinal tract. Made mostly of water, mucus has beneficial purposes. It’s a protective barrier against viruses preventing infections. When you are sick, more mucus is produced to help wash out the bacteria. It is different colors because of either an infection or irritation.

Your body produces approximately 2 pints per day! Yuck! Even more gross, eating your boogers can be good for you by boosting your immune system. You might as well drink your own urine and other bodily excretions.



Pus is that nasty fluid that happens when you pop a pimple or cyst (which, by the way, you should NOT do). It can also be a result of an infection on your skin or severely dry eyes, also commonly known as discharge.

Depending on the type of cyst or infection you have, the pus may have to be drained by a doctor. Ugh, zits. Why do we actually want to squeeze them?



Eye Discharge

Eye boogers, as many refer to, is the slimy discharge usually found in your eyes upon waking in the morning. I could also be dried up in the corners of your eyes. Many people who suffer from dry eyes will have an excessive amount of discharge from the eyes.

The discharge can actually become “glued together” making it very difficult to open your eyes, and it can also be described as stringy. This is just wrong. Those excretions look like snots coming out of your eyes.



Sweat or perspiration is secreted by the sweat glands in response to an increase in the temperature of your body, usually while exercising, during menopause (known as hot flashes) or fever.

As uncomfortable as it can be, sweat actually prevents your body from overheating. When many people sweat, it’s often accompanied by body odor. Nasty body odor. Stay away!



Vomiting, throwing up, hurling, barfing or puking are what most people call emesis. Vomit is the involuntary, forceful expulsion of the contents of one's stomach through the mouth and sometimes the nose. That definition and description of what happens pretty much “nails it”.

Vomiting is usually associated with food poisoning, intoxication, stomach virus, flu or side effects from certain medications or medical treatments such as chemotherapy. Hurling accompanied by diarrhea is usually indicative of food poisoning. A real treat.



Diarrhea - have you ever heard of the rhyme “diarrhea plop plop, diarrhea plop plop, people think it’s funny, but it’s really brown and runny”? That will be forever emblazoned in my brain. Bowel movements can be hard, soft or runny. Diarrhea can be caused by a plethora of things. Colds, flu, stomach virus, irritable bowel syndrome, food poisoning, Crohn’s Disease, colitis and several other conditions of the intestinal tract.

When you have food poisoning, you literally feel like you’re dying and that it’ll never stop. Be ready to plant yourself in the bathroom for hours on end.



Menstruation is typically referred to as “that time of the month”. Well, it does occur monthly, but the symptoms are not pretty. As a result of the shedding of the lining of a woman’s uterus, blood passes out of the vagina. Yes, the vagina. Symptoms may include extreme irritability, abdominal cramps, mood swings (think crying because of a food commercial), sore breasts, bloating, food cravings or headache and fatigue. It’s the highlight of a woman’s month.

Sometimes the bleeding can be so bad, it actually comes out in huge clots which are really unnerving. Recommendation? Bathe often.



Flatulence, otherwise known as gas, is gaseous waste that is released through the anus (butt) accompanied by a sound and/or a strong, pungent, sulfur-like odor. It can also derive from the mouth in the form of belching.

Excessive gas may be caused by swallowed air, lactose intolerance, the breakdown of undigested foods, and malabsorption of foods. Trapped gas can cause severe abdominal pain and bloating. When you have really nasty gas, it comes out hot. I’m sure you’ve had those moments. Pew!



Urination or voiding is yet another process in which the body gets rid of excess waste. Many commonly refer to it as weeing, tinkling, peeing, or whizzing. For the most part, urination is voluntary. Only infants and those suffering from incontinence cannot control it.

Women are more likely than men to develop urinary tract infections, which may cause burning while urinating or the urgency to go frequently. Peeing on a jellyfish sting? I think that’s a farce!



Okay, writing this and looking at the images almost made me hurl. Unfortunately, they are all necessary evils to every human. Sucks to be human sometimes.


Which bodily function is the lesser of evils?

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© 2017 Mary Ann Sromoski


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