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25 Reasons for You to Hit The Shower

Updated on June 21, 2012

Some Advice about Your Personal Hygene

Let's face it ... not everyone hits the shower when they should. Here are 25 reasons for you to think about it:

  1. That cat you tried to chase out from underneath your car turned out to be a skunk.
  2. When you get in an elevator, other passengers start to gag and press against the far wall.
  3. When you sit down on a crowded bus, the seats around you suddenly empty.
  4. That baby seemed really cute until it puked on you.
  5. Rolling in the grass reminded you of your carefree youth; rolling in that dog shit reminded you of how much you really hate dogs.
  6. You didn't really think about the big, muddy puddle by the bus stop until that big, shiny truck splashed it all over you.
  7. When you scratch the side of your nose, you get a load of grease under your fingernail.
  8. That's not a brownie in your pants.
  9. Even dogs are offended by your smell.
  10. You and your lover have been exchanging bodily fluids for 18 uninterrupted hours.
  11. Those water guns you and your friend were playing with were filled with pesticides.
  12. You just spent all night bailing sewer water out of your flooded basement.
  13. The monkeys at the zoo thought it was funny when they threw their feces at you. Come to the think of it, the other patrons at the zoo found it pretty funny too.
  14. It's been so long since your last shower, that your skin is starting to itch.
  15. Old Betsy the cow was having trouble delivering a calf, and you had to reach into her uterus and pull it out.
  16. Your dog has been licking you awake again.
  17. It is safe to do so, now that you are out of prison.
  18. You've just discovered how many ugly, microscopic organisms there are living and breeding on the surface of your skin.
  19. You just lost badly at a game of Jell-O wrestling.
  20. That wasn't just dark water at the beach, that was an oil spill.
  21. That last letter that you opened was filled with a mysterious, explosive white powder.
  22. You were the lucky model at a beginners body painting class.
  23. The one person that disgusts you most in the world just shook your hand, hugged you, and kissed both your cheeks.
  24. You just put in a double shift of sorting and cleaning fish for market.
  25. More than one of the above actually apply to you.

I am sure that as you read through the above, more reasons occurred to you. Please share in the comment section!


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