30 Days Sober

I have always had a complex relationship with alcohol. While no one would have called me an alcoholic, I definitely didn’t feel in control. I’ve tried various approaches to get a grip on my consumption, like the two-drink maximum and drinking water in between drinks. These experiments would inevitably fail for one reason or another: a bad day, a great day, or a regular Tuesday night.

Ironically, I’ve never really enjoyed the taste of alcohol, but I did love its effect. After a couple of drinks, I felt more confident and more relaxed. Fast forward to the morning after, and all of my insecurities were back and were accompanied by anxiety and a migraine.

Because I am educated, employed and only had a few glasses of wine in the evening, I didn’t think I had a real problem, even though I usually spent Saturday mornings in bed with a pounding headache, unable to keep anything down.

One day, 34 days ago to be exact. I knew that I couldn’t trust that one glass of wine wouldn’t lead to more, and I had to break up with alcohol. The first few days wine occupied the majority of my thoughts. But I began asking myself: where would that first drink lead? What would the ‘morning after’ feel like? The image of waking up the next day with a headache and a hefty dose of self-loathing was enough incentive to stick to sobriety.

Ultimately, giving up alcohol was the best decision I have ever made; it feels like waking up on clean sheets every day. I’d been afraid that my life would end when I stopped drinking, but my alcohol-free life has given me more than I could have ever imagined.

1. I am getting a quality sleep

2. My blood pressure dropped significantly

3. I’m hydrated, and my skin has cleared up

4. My face isn’t puffy anymore

5. My diet has improved

6. I’m saving money

7. I’m present at every moment

8. I seem to have more time

When you don’t spend your evenings with wine, you have a lot more free time to cultivate new hobbies or habits that bring you actual fulfillment and joy.

9. My shame around alcohol has disappeared

10. I feel more confident now than I did when I was drunk or hungover

11. Sobriety has convinced me I can do all the hard things

12. My memory has improved

13. I feel healthier

Alcohol is a toxin; your body has to do the difficult work of cleansing it. Since I’m now alcohol-free I feel healthier knowing my liver doesn’t have to work overtime to keep me healthy.

14. No more booze brain or brain fog

15. My stress levels have decreased

16. I’ve started taking my medication to manage my Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Panic attacks.

17.I’ve discovered I’m actually kind of cool, and I like myself

18. My mental health has improved

19. I’m no longer an easy target

Now that I’m sober and clear-headed, I’ve stopped opening myself up to manipulators. I used to be an easy target for abusers. Because I was a mental and emotional wreck with no sense of self-worth, it was easy to take advantage of me.

20. I have better judgment

After a whole month without any alcohol, you might be inclined to stop for good too. Today, I’m able to make conscious decisions about every aspect of my life. Waking up with bright eyes and a quiet mind has brought me more peace than alcohol ever has.