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6 Reasons Why Moving Back Home Was the Move for Me!
When I first moved away from home I was 18 years old and like most fresh faced newly legal adults, I was excited to finally be "on my own". My mother and cousin dropped me off to college one hot summer day and that was the beginning of my journey as a naive independent college student. Haha. During my first semester I rarely socialized. I made sure to stay focused on my school work and being an introvert definitely helped with that. It paid off academically but I wasn't making that many friends. As the years went by, my performance was up and down but I began to socialize a little more. My overall experience was a good one. I gained a lot of valuable knowledge inside and outside of the classroom. I'm from a small town so going to college gave me a wider lens to what was truly going on in the world. My major in Sociology helped with that as well and I thoroughly enjoyed learning the content. I was already a sociologist at heart because I'm the person that likes to observe and analyze life and humans and the way they function. Yes, Psychology was one of my first choices but I decided to stick with the social perspective. My intent was, I didn't want to choose something I would be miserable in yet would make me the most money. I wanted something I could genuinely enjoy and learn from and still be able to eat off of. (2 out of 3 ain't so bad lmao).. I graduated with my bachelor of science in sociology and I was ready to take on the world, at least that's what I thought. I was still on my own so it was cool. I started a new adventure with Yoga during my undergraduate years and after obtaining my degree I decided to pursue a certification in Yoga. I started the training in 2015 and I fell in love. Later on in the year, I began to entertain the idea of moving back home. At first I was like hell no, that's going backwards. I can't leave, I'm in the middle of my training, I really want this certification and I enjoy being on my own. Although I wasn't making much money. I realized that in my mind moving back home was a failure and like most Americans I had a fear of failure. Even though I resisted, I made the move. Gave up my "independence" and chance at getting my yoga certification. I had no idea what to expect when moving back but throughout this journey of being home, I've gained wayyyy more than I could have trying to keep up with how I thought life should go. These are some of the gems ive received since making that move..
1. My health improved: when I got into yoga my overall health was already getting better. Coming home allowed me to focus on my sense of well being even more. Emotional, mental. I had time to invest in things such as retreats that catapulted me deeper into my healing & spiritual practice and I've been able to release on some deep ass levels it's no joke. Shout out to Jay English (honors yoga) and Jason Hairston for facilitating those retreats and creating a safe space for others to reflect, learn, heal and level up. Check those brothas out! ASAP!
2. I became a certified Yoga Teacher:
yayyyyy!!! I finally did it! After not wanting to let go the first time and leave in the middle of training while in tally, I was still able to do it. It worked out exactly how it was supposed to. I needed the training, it was a great experience for me. I thought the financial aspect would be a problem but I was only creating a problem for myself because it worked out. I'm still figuring out what sort of teacher I want to be but I'm thankful I was able to do what I knew was for me.
3. My perspective on finances changed: When you're not making much, you will find a way to use your creativity in order to make money. I came to the realization that I don't have to work for anyone for the rest of my life because I have so much to offer. I don't mind gaining experience from the jobs I come across because there is something to get from any situation but I know that multiple streams of income is where it's at anddddd It's not all about how much you have but how well you manage your money. If you're a millionaire with poor money management habits you still won't have much. A process, yes, yes, YES! I'm still working on mastering this haha but that's what I envision for myself. Financial well being. No doubt.
4. I became more disciplined: Piggy backing off of the first two. All of those experiences pushed me to become more disciplined and it gave me a new outlook on how vital that is, Especially if you desire change. Discipline is everything. In my mind as a young girl there was a good bit of negativity surrounding that word. As a young woman, I'm seeing the vital part it plays in the way I live my life. It is tied to commitment which both used to denote this idea of a lack of freedom, in my mind. However, as I continue to be committed to myself and my well being, (spiritual, mental, physical, financial) the more free I feel.
5. My self love heightened: Whewww. I spent more time to myself and developed a core sense of intimacy within myself. I did date a little here and there but majority of my time went to Iman. I explored my patterns in regards to men and relationships, i asked myself why did I desire to be in one and I realized that I did not have my own reasons Outside of what I had been told. That was a problem to me. I barely had an idea of what a healthy relationship looked like so I did my research (videos, books, life experience) As a single woman I learned how to genuinely enjoy my own company more than I ever had before. My perspective on relationships and being single completely shifted. I broke out of this fantasy/romantic idea and got to see the real. I learned how to not depend on someone else for completion or to feel whole which is important if you want a healthy balanced union. This is coming from someone who didn't want to end up alone in old age, ha. now the thought doesn't even cross my mind. It's easier for me to not completely settle for the sake of having someone because I've discovered peace within myself.
5a. I stopped comparing my journey to others: this was a major step for me. Especially with outlets such as social media. You see People achieving societal goals of what success looks like and yea at first it was like damn, what am I doing with my life. Then I had to pump the mf breaks because I'm not everybody else. My journey is for who I am and what I'm here to do so my experiences are tailored to that. I like to know myself as a unique expression of divine creation and what I've been able to do has no measurement. The value goes beyond tangible physical things. It's intrinsic, timeless and has been so life changing for me. I have to honor and respect that or I'd truly be doing myself a huge disservice and that shit ain't cool.
6. Last but not least: The relationship with my Mother: being around family can be enjoyable but veryyy testy. Definitely when it comes to Moms. Nobody pushes buttons or sets off triggers like mama. Lol. Being home and living with her forced me to look more at myself and my relationship with her. I've been able to gain a deeper love and respect for my mom. I see her in a new light with new eyes and this essentially has improved my connection to the divine feminine energy that exists within all of us and our mothers are the first representation of that. Also, being around my little sister Morgan who has a disability I can see how my relationship with her is different compared to before I went off to college. Helping and watching my mom take care of her while learning valuable lessons from both of them. I've been able to have a greater sense of gratitude for my family. My heart has been bust open bit by bit and I notice it in my interactions with the ones that are closest to me. Besides the relationship with my family, a long time friendship was able to be revitalized. I've made some genuine connections with dope humans that I've met via doing the things I'm fond of.
I'm not screaming perfection but there has undeniably been a shift and I'm in gratitude.
So, those are some gems I received since moving back home. Something I was initially afraid of and did not want to do ended up being one of the best decisions I've ever made. I utilized my time. I've been able to build a steady internal foundation that will help me years to come. Don't be afraid to fail, it might be what you need. Trust. Your. Journey. Trust. Your. Process.