- Mental Health
8 Great Ways to Deal With Anger
8 Great Ways to Deal With Anger
Anger is an emotion that we all feel, though different people experience it in varying degrees. However, failure to deal with this emotion effectively, especially when you have the habit of getting angry at any slight provocation, can increase your risk of developing serious health problems, such as heart disease or stroke.
I had to learn how to deal with anger myself after battling with anger issues for years. For the past eight years, I have been suffering from an embarrassing disease which makes some people ridicule me. In the past, this made me very angry and I even got very angry with God for allowing me to experience such humiliation.
As the years have gone by, I have learned to control my anger, and I want to share some of the things I do to control myself now with you, in addition to other tips, so that you can also learn to deal with your anger.
Resolve To Be Humble When You Are Provoked
Determine that you will do your best to live peaceably with the men who irritate you, even with those who have cantankerous dispositions.
How can you humble yourself when someone annoys you and you feel like hitting him or abusing him?
- Meet the hostile person with a spirit of goodwill. Recall ways you contributed to the disagreement, focus on that, and try to improve your behavior, instead of acting as though everything is the fault of the other person. So, judge yourself instead of judging the other person and you will see that you are also full of flaws.
- When you see that you have made a mistake, do not feel shy to defer to the other person’s judgment. Acknowledge that the person you disagree with may be right.
- Find people who always seem calm, who deal with provoking situations with calmness and equanimity, and let them mentor you.
- If you are always rushing to be seen first, to get things done first, to get in front of everyone else, then change that habit and choose to allow others to go before you. It will teach you to respect others, to put the feelings of others before your own, and you will learn to keep your emotions under control for the sake of the other person.
Postpone Responding To Later
One way to deal with anger emotions is to delay in responding when someone provokes you. When you feel that you are becoming angry, and when you feel that you will rant or rave when you open your mouth to speak, remind yourself at that moment that you do not necessarily have to respond to the provocation at that material time.
For example, you may say something such as this to yourself, “Calm down, Isaac. Relax. You don’t have to react now. You can react later when your anger cools down. Relax.” Then, start admiring something in the environment, if you cannot leave the place, so that you can distract yourself to help your anger to cool off.
On the other hand, if you can leave the location, do so, think through the situation, think about an appropriate response to give to the person annoying you, and react later when you have brought your anger under control.
Remind Yourself Of The Consequences Of Past Anger
Sit down in a quiet place one day and recall about 20 incidents in which your anger has cost you. Write these incidents down and write down how you suffered as a result of the anger you displayed on those occasions.
For example, if you stalked out of the house, put your car in reverse instead of moving it forward because you were angry, and crashed the car as a result, write that down. Or, if you cut your finger as a result of anger after you had a quarrel with someone, note it.
Keep this list with you wherever you go so that you can read it often to remind yourself that sometimes getting angry brings negative consequences. The pain of those past negative experiences may serve as a deterrent to help you to keep your anger in check so that you will not suffer similar experiences today or tomorrow.
This strategy is a very good way to deal with extreme anger because the memory of the bad consequences of anger in the past will serve as a powerful deterrent to fight that extreme feeling, you will feel willing to explore other avenues to deal with the disagreement, and that will help you to cool down.
Change Your Thinking
When you are angry, you think of things in a negative light, and you imagine the worst. Therefore, you must learn to supplant negative, unhelpful thoughts with positive thoughts that deal with the reality.
For example, instead of saying something such as, “I will not tolerate this from you! Do you think you are the only one who uses this sidewalk!” when someone unintentionally bumps into you in a sidewalk, say something such as, “Please, watch where you are going when you are walking in public!”
Looking at things from a positive perspective will let you see that you are overreacting to the situation, that there are other ways of dealing with the situation that is irritating you, and that will make you more willing to cool down.
And if you want to deal with anger from a Biblical perspective, commit Bible verses to memory and quote them to yourself when you feel angry. Supplant negative thoughts and thoughts of revenge and aggression with God’s word, and you will feel positively disposed towards the person you are angry with, which will make it easier for you to pursue peace with that person and not to act aggressively towards that person.
Get Enough Sleep
When you don’t get enough sleep, it will make you irritable. As a result, you may react in anger and frustration to issues which might not require a strong response such as anger. On the other hand, when you get a restful sleep at night, you feel very relaxed the next day and it puts you in a happy, relaxed mood which makes it easier to ignore irritations and provocations.
Exercise Every Day
If you want to deal with anger, then you must know that exercises can help you to keep your anger in check. A study suggests that when you exercise often, you can reduce the risk that you will get angry when you are provoked.
So, walk briskly for 30 minutes every morning, swim for two hours every weekend, run for 30 miles every weekend, ride your bicycle for one hour every day, or dance to your favorite upbeat music for one hour every day and you will find it easier to deal with anger.
Develop Your Relationship With Jehovah
If you are a Christian and you want to deal with anger as a Christian, try to develop a close, loving relationship with the Heavenly Father by speaking to Him every day through prayer, by going to Church regularly, by reading His word, the Holy Bible and meditating on the words you read as well as trying to live your life using the principles in the Bible, and by learning to listen to God speak to you, by learning to be spiritually discerning so that you can hear God’s voice when He tries to communicate with you.
When you draw close to God by trying to develop your relationship with Him, He will give you His Holy Spirit, who will work on your spirit and help you to live according to God’s word.
The Holy Spirit produces fruits or virtues in the lives of those who have a relationship with God, virtues which are mentioned in Galatians 5v 22 and 23 of the Bible. Three of these virtues, such as longsuffering, gentleness, and goodness, will help you to restrain yourself when you are provoked, to avoid retaliating when you are irritated by someone, to treat even people who hurt you with thoughtful consideration, as well as help you to act with goodwill towards those who hurt you so that you will refrain from insulting or abusing them.
Additionally, the Holy Spirit gives virtues such as meekness, and temperance (or self-control),which can help you to deal with anger according to the Bible, to master your emotions better, to act in a spirit of love and forgiveness when someone wrongs you so that you will speak back to the person in a controlled measure, and not in an aggressive manner.
Developing a closer relationship with God is also the best way to deal with anger towards God because He will help you, through revelations from the Bible, to understand why certain things have happened in your life, why you have faced the disappointments or sufferings that have made you angry with Him, and when you understand things better, it becomes easier to let go of your anger towards God and to trust Him again.
Create Internal Joy Always
One of the things that help me to deal with my anger is to hum or sing a song I like to myself when I am very angry, or to sing a spiritual song. It fills me with joy, I start having a feeling of goodwill towards the person who has made me angry, and the angry feelings become weaker and weaker until they diffuse. This is how to deal with anger Biblically!
So, practice it often. When someone provokes you, instead of responding immediately, recall your favorite spiritual song, gospel song, psalm, or hymn and start humming it to yourself. Hum it for two minutes and then start singing it. As you keep on singing it, you will realize that your feelings will change and your temper will start to cool.
Alternatively, listen to praise and worship music and sing along. The song will touch your heart and move your spirit and you will feel willing to let go of the hurt that the person who has provoked you may have deposited in you, which will help you to relax mentally so that you can calm down.
If you want to deal with anger effectively, resolve to act humbly towards the person who annoys you, desist from responding to provocations immediately they occur, remind yourself of how anger has cost you in the past, work on your mind, get enough sleep every day, exercise regularly, deal with habits that may be contributing to making you angry, and walk with God so that He can give you His Holy Spirit to help you restrain yourself when someone provokes you.
8 Great Ways to Deal With Anger
Do you love singing?
© 2017 Isaac Nunoofio