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Positive Ways to Deal with Anger

Updated on August 28, 2014

Anger is a normal emotion that everyone experiences from time to time. It's often accompanied with other feelings such as rejection or being hurt. It is important to address the feelings in healthy ways. Harboring feelings on the inside can only lead to unpleasant consequences.

Feelings of anger do not have to last. They certainly don’t have to have control over you. In fact, you can be in complete control over your emotions. Here are some ways to tackle anger.


Don't Act on Impulse

People tend to do and say regrettable things when they act impulsively. To avoid those types of situations, here are some tips to keep in mind.

  • Stop and Think – Before taking action, take some time to get your thoughts together first. Also think about the possible consequences that may occur.
  • Take a Breather – Taking a few deep breaths will help to calm you down and relieve some of the physical tension in your body.
  • Pick Your Battles – Ask yourself if this particular offense is really worth losing your cool.
  • Have Self Talk – Remind yourself that you can remain calm and practice self control.

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Get Your Feelings Out

Keeping your feelings on the inside is not good, and usually leads to an explosive or other harmful result.

  • Write your feelings down in a journal, diary or blog. You could also express yourself through art or music.
  • Talk to someone you trust about your feelings. Find someone who is sure to listen, not judge, but will be straight up honest with you. You can talk to a close friend, family member or a counselor. If your anger is uncontrollable or is causing significant dysfunction, it may be better to seek a professional.
  • Respectfully confront the person who made you upset. Before you do, learn the difference between being assertive vs aggressive. Also, know when to just dust things off and walk away.


Blow off some steam by getting your workout on. Whether you do aerobics, hit the gym or go for a jog, release some of that energy by taking time to exercise. At the same time, it's the perfect opportunity to quiet your mind.


Use Reframing Techniques

A lot times, we see things as being one sided or forget to consider the whole set of circumstances. Other times we can be super critical or over analyze things. Before jumping to conclusions or getting too heated, try putting a different frame on the situation. You just may get a little clarity, find a different perspective or gain a new understanding.


Have Positive Self Talk

Everybody has little conversations within themselves from time to time. When you feel anger, let this be a time to engage in some positive self-talk. Here are a few things you can tell yourself:

  • I can stay calm.
  • This (situation) is not going to get the best of me.
  • I will not lose my cool or my joy over this.

Love Those Who Hurt You

One way to maintain peace when you are angry is to remind yourself to love those who hurt you and practice forgiveness. Things don't affect you as much when you have already set in your mind and heart that you will love and forgive. You'll find it easier to get over offenses and rejection. You might even have compassion for the one who made you upset. One reason may be because you see now that the main reason the other person offended you is a result of unresolved issues within themselves.

Remember what God says about loving your enemies:

  • Love your enemies.
  • Bless those that curse you.
  • Pray for those who mistreat you.
  • Forgive.

Another way to assure that things don't easily upset you is to stay confidant. Know that you are loved, and always love yourself.


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    • mothersofnations profile image

      Mothers of Nations 3 years ago

      I'll be keeping these things in mind :) I tend to pray through my emotions more often than not, but because a little frustration is lingering today your suggestions are a great addition to the things I'm already trying. Good read! God bless you.