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Self-Healing by Not Taking Ourselves Seriously

Updated on June 25, 2017
ValKaras profile image

Val is a life-long student of psycho-philosophy of living, and a devoted practitioner of many techniques enhancing personal evolution.

There must Be a Reason why that Prince of the Fairy Tale Is Not Looking back from the Mirror
There must Be a Reason why that Prince of the Fairy Tale Is Not Looking back from the Mirror

Just Humor - Not Sarcasm

There is one corner of my soul reserved for seeing the comical side of human race - with its unnecessary melodrama wallowing in tears, sweat, and blood. Unnecessary because of our inherent ability to live in peace and harmony, which is our natural state of being - all until we start complicating just about every aspect of our life.

Maybe I am using this humorous attitude to make more bearable those occasional moments of spiritual loneliness, as I see the world insisting upon conflict - that inner and the outer one. Well, one way or another, humor provides some sort of balsam for all those bruises resulting from living in a world that keeps forgetting that life is a gift to be enjoyed and appreciated.

However, when humor is dark as mine often is, it may be hard to tell it apart from sarcasm. It took me a while to honestly assess where it's coming from - but then I realized that I loved people way too much to be sarcastic.

Old Age Doesn't Really Inspire
Old Age Doesn't Really Inspire

Learning what Not to Become

My balcony window looks at an Old Folks Home, and during my morning meditative pacing back and forth I often stop by this window to look at those ancient specimens down there - just for an inspiration of "how I don't want to end up". Some of those in a better shape are pushing their walkers; others are sitting on the bench and pretending to be alive in a strained conversation.

And then, there are also some of those who don't seem to be sure whether they are coming or going, with their greyish complexion somewhat resembling already dead folks who just forgot to lay down. Now you know whence that inspiration of not wanting to end up like that. As I observe them with a good dose of compassion, I just can't help but wonder what's on their minds now at this advanced age.

So often We Act and Look Our Chronological  Age  -   maybe with an Option never Explored
So often We Act and Look Our Chronological Age - maybe with an Option never Explored

No Tooth of Time to Be Blamed

Are they ever asking themselves how to justify all that unnecessary stress, useless worries, illusions, silly upsets, delusional pride, and futile concern over global events - the whole negative package that crushed their vitality and brought them to this moment of ultimate defeat?

Indeed, do they realize that it was not the tooth of time that did the number on their condition, but their terrible stress management and lack of some basic wisdom? Maybe they are ascribing all of it to their "bad genes".

Some of them looking in their early eighties probably don't get it that their age by itself is not the reason for them acting half-dead, because some others at their age enjoy an active life.

After how many Books Do We Qualify to Live a Normal Life?
After how many Books Do We Qualify to Live a Normal Life?

Why Is Intelligence so Selective?

As I am looking at those apparently helpless humans, that old nagging question keeps bugging me - why relatively smart and fully coherent people refuse to use that smartness in matters of their health, happiness, and harmony in their relationships?

In those few times that I watched "Dr. Phil Show" I was amazed at the obvious intelligence of all of his "stage clients", those successful career people who somehow couldn't get their relationships, or their emotionality in order.

They could use sound logic in all other areas of their lives, but were miserably failing to use it in intimate matters. For the same matter, I also find it strange that every psychoanalyst has their own psychoanalyst.

Why? To me, it's like I call myself a good auto-mechanic taking money of trusting drivers to fix their cars - but then I don't know how to fix my own. I either am an auto-mechanic or I am an amateur, in which case I should tear down that diploma off my shop wall and stop charging people for my learning and experimenting on their cars.

So, really, how can we go so selective at our use of intelligence? After all, living a "normal" life is not a rocket science. If a poor and uneducated couple can have a loving relationship, what's preventing those educated ones?

For some Mysterious Reason People Refuse what's Good for Them
For some Mysterious Reason People Refuse what's Good for Them

How Much of Compassion Really Makes Sense

This massive global refusal of people to use their available intelligence in their private issues oftentimes makes me wonder about the kind and extent of compassion that I should feel for them. For here I am, meditating, eating right, maintaining a positive attitude about life and my relating to others and myself - and I am not any kind of Einstein.

To me it's so basic and a "must" that I am never questioning the importance of it. Just like it's normal for others to brush their teeth, it's normal for me to nurture a decent level of harmony in my life.

As I am about to meditate, it crosses my mind how many nervous and complaining folks in my life didn't take my simple advice to adopt a meditation routine in their own lives and enjoy the difference.

Then, every time I am preparing my morning nutritious smoothie I can't help but think of all those junk-eaters going from one doctor to another and refusing to listen to my little friendly lecture about what they are doing to themselves.

Also, thinking of my almost too good to be true marriage, I find it hard to believe that so many of those past, maybe even some present witnesses of it never learned anything from it - except maybe how to go jealous about it.

So, how do you "feel sorry" for people like that? What is their explanation, excuse, justification for not taking care of themselves - while their intelligence is allowing it?

It May Forever Stay an Open Question  -  how Killing Makes Us Intelligent
It May Forever Stay an Open Question - how Killing Makes Us Intelligent

Killing Is Not a Characteristic of Being a Conscious Human

I don't know why wars and violence in general bring up a picture of two idiotic rams head-butting while the prize-female is grazing around not showing much interest. Imagine their "wedding night" - so opposite from human - as it's the male that says: "Sorry honey, I am having a splitting headache."

No matter how much I try, I just can't wrap my mind around the concept of one human being killing another. It's not even a matter of different moral interpretations, not a matter of justifying the cause, but a sheer idiotism that only animals should get away with for their lack of consciousness.

We all got a kind of "accustomed" to this historically repeating feature of human behavior. Even to the point of attaching something like "pride", and "glory", and "triumph" to slaughtering some totally unknown individuals who personally didn't do anything wrong to us.

Do we REALLY have to obey our leaders when they set us up against a whole nation which only happens to have some lousy leaders? How is it fault of every child killed in the Middle East that we didn't like Saddam Hussein? Is it really a rocket science to grasp, so that we, as species keep repeating the same violent crimes "not understanding" the ugly reality of it?

Seeing Our Funny Side Is the Best and Cheapest Therapy
Seeing Our Funny Side Is the Best and Cheapest Therapy

Can Anyone Else See Us as Funny?

Am I the only one laughing here? Maybe laughing at ourselves, not criticizing, not blaming could spur us to once and for all OUTLAW any wars - with the same mindset of human fairness and dignity that we use in treating a crime.

Maybe we should start seeing it as ridiculous instead of "wrong" to eat wrong foods, to overreact to every unfavorable event in life, and to get married if we are not sure how long we can keep those vows.

A good, healthy laugh in front of the mirror - instead of that narcissistic "mirror, mirror on the wall..." that somehow makes us gorgeous no matter what we do with our own lives and the lives of others.

Maybe our laughter at ourselves could possibly heal that uncried historical well of tears in our collective solar plexus. Well, we don't have to actually do it - just realizing its hypothetical cure might set us on the right path.

Knowing that we have intelligence that we are not using could really trigger that shift. We are humans, the pride of this planet. We might as well start deserving that pride. So, let us all have a forgiving laughter in our hearts - maybe something good will come from that.

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    • ValKaras profile image
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      Vladimir Karas 15 months ago from Canada

      Good morning, Linda, and thank you so much for yet another encouraging comment. I really appreciate it. - Be well my friend. -Val.

    • Linda Robinson60 profile image

      Linda Robinson 15 months ago from Cicero, New York

      Good morning Val and another wow-factor for sure. I love how you reach inside a person so that they do some in depth soul searching and to reflect on feelings and your own life and how these hubs relate to each of us in one way or another, tremendous. Absolutely terrific hub. Anxious to read all of your 120 and I will. :) Enjoy your day and have a super weekend. Take care. Linda :)

    • ValKaras profile image
      Author

      Vladimir Karas 16 months ago from Canada

      Always exploring - It's true, we can only do what is humanly possible, and I have a compassion for those who are struggling with their weaknesses. And yet, many of my hubs are pushing readers' awareness beyond this classical excuse of being "only human". As I know from personal experience of an ex-chain-smoker, ex-beer-drinker, ex-coffee monster - quitting is not really a super-human feat. People scare themselves with prospects of living without their fix - more than anything else is playing a role there. Again, I was there (decades ago), I know what I am talking about.

      We can all live a healthier and happier life - all we need is to really WANT TO. - Thank you for visiting, have yourself a great evening. - Val

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 16 months ago from Southern Illinois

      " Life is a gift to be enjoyed and appreciated. " How very true your statement is. Fretting about something, before or after it happens, is a no-brainer. We do worry about the catastrophes happening around the world, but what can we do? I like your take on living a healthy life-style. We are what we eat. I hear people judging others about alcohol or smoking, but they forget about gluttony. ( I do not smoke or drink alcohol. ) I know they are all are addictions and it's very difficult to quit. Sometimes it's good to look at ourselves in the mirror and realize we are only human. We will make mistakes. A good laugh makes the day brighter. Cheers

    • ValKaras profile image
      Author

      Vladimir Karas 16 months ago from Canada

      Paula, my dear friend - It is your personal greatness that echoes my many hubs and makes me happy that writing was not in vain. It takes an intelligent person to recognize a message, a sign, everywhere they look. Think of those zen masters who give their students a short and mind-boggling koan to ponder upon for some days. Well, I am glad my words are not that difficult to decode, but it's a special pleasure to realize that some smart person is also reading between my lines.

      When you mention your personal past struggles, my knee-jerk reaction is to ask questions, to comment - but then, I settle for your saying that you "found yourself" in my hub, so maybe I already answered some of those questions.

      Be well, my friend, and thank you for your much appreciated comment(s). - Have a fabulous day. - Val

    • Tarunponders profile image

      Tarun Chhauda 16 months ago from Roorkee, India

      You too have a great Sunday Val. And thanks for that little and lovely piece of history. Cheers until we meet again and get drowned in this ocean of words that sways.

    • ValKaras profile image
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      Vladimir Karas 16 months ago from Canada

      Tarun - I like Voltaire myself, the "man whose pen was sharper than a sword", especially his "Candide". My deepest respect is still reserved for his contemporary (or is he everybody's contemporary LOL) Count de Saint Germaine, probably one of the most mysterious personages in European history, for whom Voltaire said : "He is a man who knows everything and never dies".

      But you are right, most folks are scared to laugh at themselves, maybe scared that the laughter would set all those inner dragons loose.

      Thank you for nice comment, and have a great day.

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 16 months ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Val...Don't know how you do it, Sir, but you continue to turn out one great article of fascinating subject matter after another. You do this extremely well and I am always entertained & educated.

      Learning is one of my many passions. I refuse to close my eyes, ears and certainly not my mind to all that is offered by intelligent individuals.

      The most difficult struggle I have had in life, in terms of "changing" something about myself that was "ingrained" through no fault of my own.....was the issue of "worry & fretting." I get chills up my spine just remembering! What I battle I embarked upon with ME!

      My intellect never lied to me and from that somewhere deep within, I am sure I knew that worry is a futile activity. It's actually ridiculous once you reach the top of the mountain and look back!

      I'm in tune to every word you have shared with us, Val. Your thoughts are valued and appreciated.

      Truth is, I see so very much of myself in all your writings and it pleases me to know that in fact, I am on the proverbial right track!

      Our age is not what matters. If we've had negative notions for 50 years that may have been obstacles to our joy of living.....there's no time like the present to "change" that!

      To borrow form Maya Angeliou, a bright & prolific teacher & writer...."When we KNOW better~~ We DO better." And it's no secret that once we're moving forward, we must not look back!

      Peace & Happiness Val....Paula

    • Tarunponders profile image

      Tarun Chhauda 16 months ago from Roorkee, India

      Hi Vladimir

      A very interesting read. Sometimes Sarcasm can be the best weapon to wake us up from our turbulent sleep. While reading through your passages I am reminded of a saying from Voltaire which goes like this -"God is a comedian that is playing too an audience that is too afraid too laugh".

      I am myself a meditator and have experienced incomparable joy whenever I resolve to sit. Thanks for posting this one.