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Political Manipulation Breeding Voters' Suckerhood -- A Satire

Updated on February 25, 2020
ValKaras profile image

Val is a life-long practically oriented student of effective emotional and attitudinal responses to the many challenges of life.

Image by Mustafa Kucuk - v.Gruenewaldt from Pixabay
Image by Mustafa Kucuk - v.Gruenewaldt from Pixabay

In politics stupidity is not a handicap.

-- Napoleon Bonaparte

Just for the Fun of a Political Cynic

As I have said it more than on one occasion -- I am a political cynic. Meaning that I honestly don't give a rat's ass about who may be a leader, domestic or foreign. I am not impressed by them, not threatened by them, in short -- to me, they are just having a leading role in a farce which I never took seriously -- even without having to imagine them in their pyjamas.

There must be a metaphoric connection there, as I can't help but think of an alcoholic acquaintance, now prematurely dead, who used to speak "wisely":

"When you feel bad after drinking a lot -- eat. And when you feel bad after eating a lot -- drink."

Likewise in politics, it's always about patching up a mistake with the patch already carrying the seed of a next mistake. And no one seems to care about that obvious vicious cycle that simply can't breed a satisfying result. Moreover, even if, by some political fluke, such a satisfying result could befall us, people are not wired in their heads to recognize it as such when it comes, because it's not based on crap that we are accustomed to seeing.

Unlike any other game where one side gets to win, there is no ultimate winner in political games, it's always merely a temporary upper hand of one side, before the other side gets even. It's like welfare of the nation is such a complicated thing to figure out, that their elected leaders can't find a right formula for it, swinging back and forth in a pathetic yo-yo fashion. If we would care to step back far enough to observe its overall efficiency, we might end up scratching our asses instead of our foreheads, because from there it's more likely that we would get some answers.

Which somehow reminds me of a relevant silly joke.

Two road workers are digging a long hole -- more precisely, one does the digging, and the other goes right behind him covering the hole. A puzzled passerby stops and asks what's the sense of them doing it, when one answers:

"I am a professional hole-digger, and he is a professional hole-coverer, and Joe never showed up this morning to lay the pipe."

In politics, it translates to the following: "We, Republicans do our thing, and them, Democrats do their thing, and there is no one around to serve the nation."

On international scene, many a leader within that "lovely bunch of coconuts" (late Benny Hill's expression) is calling their country "the greatest". An occasional would-be-leader forgets they already have been christened that way, so he makes it his solemn promise to "make the country great again".

Then he either fails or succeeds, but a clear consensus is not meant to exist.

Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.

-- Robert Orben

Image by Greet Gladine from Pixabay
Image by Greet Gladine from Pixabay

Is "Glory" a Word Supposed to Mean Anything?

While we are at elections, that's a comedy in its own right. The biggest part of each candidate's effort is to drag through mud other opponents. Ridiculing their policies is not enough, so families also become convenient targets.

The candidates' raising money for the election is another farce. Imagine I want to be your friend, and there is an upcoming party where I'll have an opportunity to meet you. I want so badly to impress you, but I don't think that a simple conversation at a party will do it.

So I use money to bribe most of those who will attend the party to tell you all the nice stuff about me -- mostly exaggerated things, of course.. Well, that's what raising money for election boils down to -- paying for advertising the candidate's "great qualities", since a simple public speech wouldn't do the magic of brainwashing.

An easily provable historical fact being that -- no matter who we end up voting for, our standard of living will hardly change a bit. Don't take my word for it, think back about both parties in power during your life so far, and see if either of them really made you prosper a lot, as compared to the other. If you happen to be a rich dude, this question is not for you.

So we, like a mass of clued-out and just amused spectators -- now suddenly feeling important because we get to be called "voters" -- don't connect dots into a picture of dirty candidates racing to become an equally dirty leader. Our best hope is that we choose the least among evils whom we will proudly call our leader for the next 4 glorious years.

Mentioning "glory", since one amusing theme is leading to another, all domestic and global victories of the past could be said to carry a stigma, rather than glory in their true character -- since they always involved a lot of unnecessary killing and suffering instigated by those who claimed their devotion to ethical values.

In whole history of mankind there is not a single example of something like "glorious" harmony on earth, not because nations would ever have anything against one another, but their smart leaders made harmony impossible. A harmony that would refer to sometimes mentioned "glory of all-loving god".

That's how on this side of the globe we have leaders who will faithfully attend a church mass on Sunday, only to issue an order for attack on Monday. At the other corner of the world, similar god-loving leaders will do the same in the name of their own celestial boss.

And it's all fine, business as usual for us, the people. But really, who are "we, the people"? Is there anybody else other than myself out there with enough gut capacity for a good laugh as to recognize something like our historically forged suckerhood?

From one generation to another suckers are born to replace those before, who got blisters on their palms clapping at elections and rallies, with no soap strong enough to wash the brown spots off their noses.

Duped into loving and hating, we humans are one huge body of suckers, so often resembling dogs trained to roll over for a little treat.

"If you elect me, I will lower your taxes" -- and so we elect them, and -- gee!!! -- taxes really go down, with a small and negligible detail that it's covering only those in the highest income bracket.

But what a heck, we are a forgiving crowd, right? Which brings us to that possible source of our forgiving attitude -- which, of course, is our religion.

Image by Peter Fischer from Pixabay
Image by Peter Fischer from Pixabay

Politics is an art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying wrong remedies.

-- Groucho Marx

Unholy Matrimony Between Politics and Religion

We apparently can't help but believe in something "beyond ourselves" -- not necessarily beyond politics -- but beyond ourselves. That's where religion steps in. Ever thought about politics and religion never really even trying to break up their mutually rewarding relationship?

It ranges from closeness between a tribal witch-doctor and a chief, all the way to religious and political leaders' co-production of global suckerhood -- a mass of scared, suggestible, gullible humans. On one hand, governments keep inventing "enemies", to make scared subjects cling to the Big Daddy for protection. And on the other hand, religion invented "evil", presenting itself as a qualified exorcist -- with a fee involved, of course.

Both have invented a system of rituals which are to strengthen people's faith, reliance, and loyalty, for an easier manipulation. Now, isn't that cooperation between religion and politics important -- actually so much so that religion is the only establishment on earth which doesn't have to pay taxes.

When you think of it, wouldn't medical profession and Big Pharma qualify more for that exemption? After all, when you are having a heart attack, try praying to see if it will stop. Many have come back from Emergency Ward with their ticker continuing to work, while no one has ever come back from the other side to tell how nice it is "up there". Well, we can only assume it's nice, since no one ever bothered coming back.

Now, don't take it as a sign of my big love for medical profession. I am still having hard time wrapping my mind around the statistics about 300,000 patients dying each year in the US alone from wrong diagnoses, wrong drugs or doses. Well, just like we have to keep forgiving politicians, religious or not, what choice do we have but play that Russian roulette with doctors, hoping we won't be the next in that dark statistics.

Surely enough, it can't happen to us to suddenly realize how some 95% of all diseases are preventable by a good stress management -- we are a bunch of suckers programmed to rely on one or another type of authority for our well being. Who ever heard of the insanity of using our own heads instead.

No wonder we pray for all those outcomes in life for which we are responsible, while being used to letting others do all the thinking for us. And no wonder that the only way we see fighting stress is by medicating ourselves with alcohol and drugs.

Image by Bridgesward from Pixabay
Image by Bridgesward from Pixabay

Too bad that people who know how to run a country are too busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.

-- George Burns

Doped Nation Is Obedient Nation

Drugs...did you every ask yourself why alcohol consumption is legal? You see, I have this kind of nasty curiosity to question everything. Imagine, one day I even started laughing while watching a TV movie, at a scene of a dude riding a horse -- suddenly finding it ridiculous that one species is atop another species using it for means of transportation. Now you know who you are dealing with here.

So, don't be surprised as I am wondering why the hell humans need to dull their nerves with alcohol. Or even those other "recreational" drugs -- what a cute name for that crap, by the way.

I am not particularly into conspiracy theories, but I have observed so much political manipulation and sheer suckerhood going on, that I automatically see this drug abuse as a part of a grand political agenda.

Namely, I don't think American Natives were the only ones to whom "fiery water" was pushed to mellow down their hostile resistance. I see it as much more common, meaning that a sedated nation is an obedient nation. In any case not sober enough to get organized into a mob against the establishment of government as an institution.

You see, all kinds of bugs are buzzing in my inquisitive mind, at times when I have nothing better to think about.

And yet, I don't really indulge in my satirical thoughts -- and I am still calling them satirical, not paranoid, because I honestly don't feel threatened by politics one bit. As a matter of fact, at times I tend to feel sorry for politicians' need to play those control freaks. It must cost them one hell of nerves to feed that ambition, especially since they are not really winning on a permanent basis.

Then I laugh seeing a miniature of that same game in some ordinary couples with a controlling wife and a sucker of a husband. I see that same mental symbiosis, with him in a need of a "strong-headed mommy guiding him in life", and her gladly fulfilling that role.

I've seen a lots of them, suckerhood and bossiness feeding each other, just like I see it going on between politicians and submissive masses. The whole world seems like one colossal, well oiled machine, everybody sticking to their role in one grand scenario, nobody really bothered by the fact that the show actually sucks.

Something for everybody -- and here -- even with something for entertainment of a political cynic. Truth be told, I am not satirizing only this world of ours, but laughing at myself as well. Every author wants to attract as many readers as possible, and here I go with this stuff touching taboos of religion and authorities, with greatly reduced chance of people reading, let alone commenting.

For, there is always that fear of "who knows what authorities might see their name under such blaspheming post". Too bad I know nothing about cooking and travelling, even though writing about it might give me more readers than this knowing nothing about politics.

© 2020 Vladimir Karas

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