A Guide to Being the Perfect Husband
This may be the perfect chapel to get married in.
Years of practice and practice and practice.
You too can be the perfect husband. Yes even you. The perfect husband may not be what you think. And it really does not come from the husband at all, really. It comes from....... Well you will just have to read on to find out.
Here is a truth if you are trying to go it alone. "If you know what your wife wants -- give it to her. And by the way, you are either a genius or an idiot, there is no middle ground on that!"
Now down to brass tacks. If you are trying to be the perfect husband you have already missed the boat. That is not your job and you could not do it if you wanted to. But there is something that you can do that will make you the perfect husband. We hope that you see the difference. In other words you could spend your life being the perfect husband and you would not be the perfect husband. They do not really equal each other.
Here is a hint that will become clear as we move along on this subject. Most things in life are not really good or bad. We just perceive them as that way. A perfectly beautiful diamond can either be too small or too huge and gaudy. The beauty is in the eye of the beholder. You may be beginning to see where this is leading but let us tell a story or two to make the point clearer and then we will rap it up with some very clear one liners.
Oh Lord it is hard to be humble
Can you be the perfect husband?
Ladies, is your husband perfect
Now psychologists and psychiatrists will tell you that perfection is not possible. They will say that if that is what we strive for and are unhappy when we fail, we will be very unhappy. They will tell us to be happy with what we are. Too bad they cannot tell our spouses that about us. But life just does not work that way. We all try or often try to be perfect. It is life.
Here is a true story. The man worked his fingers to the bone. He provided well for his family. He had 3 beautiful children and a debutante wife. She calls him at work and requires him to be home on time and to bring extra money (see the first problem). Then she directs him what to get at the store on the way home as he is barbecuing whether he wants to or not. Then she complains that the children are driving her crazy and to hurry to her rescue. The man does all that is asked in record time and presents the food and extra cash to his wife as he hurries to start the barbecue while in the meantime bathing the children and vacuuming before guests arrive. Can you see it? He forgot to buy her "surprise" flowers while at the store. He fell short of being perfect.
I hope that here we can see that it is not what is done that creates a perfect husband. Perfection does not come with doing all things "near" right it comes from something else. So in a sense we can see that what the psychiatric community says has a ring of truth to it.
So let us examine. What makes the diamond ring just right, not too big and not too small. It would seem that it is entirely out of the control of the husband. So how can perfection possibly be "achieved" by the husband?
I knew a man who shared everything with his wife. They were best friends and lovers. He told her of his trials and tribulations and was completely honest with her. When he began to sink into a depression and things went from bad to worse at work he lost his job. The "recession" settled in and they used up all his unemployment, 401K and then all the savings and even had garage sales. Eventually they lost the house in foreclosure and a car to the repo man. We could easy say that this man was a failure at being a husband. Hells' bells in his state he even lost it in the bedroom.
Four years later they are out of bankruptcy and about to qualify for another home and their house is amazingly happy and carefree and joyous. We had the privilege of helping this family in their darkest hours. And they never once wavered in their love for one another and never blamed each other for the problems, they were amazing.
The wife at one point told me how fantastic her husband was and how he was the perfect man. At one point I remember going by to tell them we had put off the foreclosure and attempts at refinance had failed and that they would lose their home. I can still hear the children laughing and playing and I will never forget the meal they fed me with what little they had left.
Here was something special and I had to know what it was that could make a couple stay so happy through such trouble. Now I will share that with you.
First let me say that this couple had faith. And faith was a huge help to them. But in this case at least it was not that which made the difference, although we have all seen that before.
He was always her perfect man, she told me so.
And here it is in a nice nutshell.
Remember or imagine when you first fell in love. For some reason the sky is bluer or in the alternative the rain is nourishing and cleansing as opposed to wet and depressing. Remember that pair of glasses that you had on perpetually -- you know, the rose colored ones? This is no fleeting moment. The couple with the disaster that were so happy were still in that love mode. Call it puppy love or new love, who cares. Remember when that nervous tick of hers was endearing and special? Remember when the fact that you were clumsy only made you cuter.
Well there you have it. What makes a man a perfect husband is the fact that his wife is still in love with him with all his imperfections. When she is in love the diamond is always the perfect size.
Be perfect and do not steal
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