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A Letter To My Brother

Updated on May 9, 2011


I am writing this letter to my brother to help me express things I am feeling during a time in our lives that could prove to be devastating if things don't change, I felt this was the only way I could get my point across strongly enough to make a difference. I share this with my friends here on Hub Pages and the rest of the world in hopes that you might leave comments and help my brother to see that life is too precious a gift to be taken for granted or simply discarded. I also hope this may help anyone else that may be in a similar situation. To anyone reading this who has given up or stopped trying to improve the quality of their life, I beg you to stop being so selfish and think about the people you love and who love you.

Brother, Please Here Me Before It's Too Late

Dear Brother,

I am writing you today because all of my face to face attempts to communicate my concerns for your health and well being over the years, have been met with either excuses or one of those patronizing "I know's" to let me know you were done listening. So today I give you my final attempt to get through to you. You see big brother, unless things change, I'm not sure how much longer you are going to be with us. And that worries me and the rest of the family more than you know.

I suppose I always knew in the back of my head that the day would come that your health would begin to fail and that one of us would need to take care of you. As your younger brother, I accept that responsibility. But the problem is that I never thought that day would come before your 50th birthday. 49 year old people are not supposed to need triple bypass surgery! And the fact that you have had many warnings that things were not right with your health (how many strokes or TIA's have you had?) and you did nothing to improve it, makes me more angry than you will ever know.

Adding insult to injury, the day I picked you up from the hospital, I couldn't believe you were actually smoking a cigarette. I honestly thought to myself "that is the last straw!" What the hell can you be thinking? Does it really not register in your brain that smoking could cost you your life? I called Dad when you went back to your room and told him that I was going to drop you off at home and tell you that I didn't want to see you or hear about you ever again. My feeling is that if you don't care enough about your health to make some changes to improve your health, then why should I? It's definitely not fair to any of us who put our plans on hold to make sure you are taken care of and then still have to worry on a daily basis that today might be the day you have a massive heart attack or yet another stroke.

I don't want to sound insensitive because that is far from the case. The truth is that I probably care more about your health than you do, and that is what drives me so crazy. I just don't know what else I can say or do to make you understand that your family loves you and cares whether you live or die, despite how you think we feel. But you do nothing, and I mean nothing, to make us feel you want to improve your health or your life. If you are trying to accomplish something by mistreating yourself so badly that you suffer a massive heart attack or stroke, go do it someplace else so we don't have to see it or know about it. Don't make us suffer even more by having to take care of you for the rest of your life.

By the way, have you seen what this is doing to Mom? She has done nothing but worry day and night about you since this all began. She is so tired from not sleeping and she looks like she has aged 5 years in the past two weeks. She told me she thinks about you before she goes to sleep and as soon as she wakes up in the morning. So congratulations bro, now you've taken away a time in her life when she is supposed to be the most happy. She just retired and is supposed to be enjoying herself, not worrying about whether she is going to outlive one of her children.

To sum up my feelings brother, I just have this to say. Stop being so selfish! Your lifestyle doesn't only affect you anymore. Every bad choice you make could be the one that kills you or debilitates you. Then who will take care of you or have to pay to bury you? Think about that before you take the next drag from that cigarette or eat your next meal.

I love you bro, you know that. I wouldn't feel so strongly or feel I have to go to these lengths to get my point across if I didn't. But I can't watch you slowly kill yourself and I absolutely won't. If things don't change with you very soon, I'm afraid I will be forced to excuse myself from your life. Get it together brother! When we were kids playing baseball, you were my hero.  You were always the center of attention because you were so good.  I want you to be great again, not because we're playing a game but because your life depends on it and I really want my hero back.

The time for change is now and you are the only one who can do it. I'll be there to help you every step of the way but I can't be there every second. You have to do it for yourself, for your family if you want to and to show that you believe your life is worth saving.

With Much Love,


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    • Jim Batuyong profile image

      Jim Batuyong 6 years ago from Anaheim, CA

      Thanks Rhonda. Since I wrote this, he does seem to be taking things a bit more seriously. Part of the problem seems to be the doctors not giving definite answers as to what the problem is. Thanks again for the kind words.

    • profile image

      Rhonda Dudley 6 years ago


      Tony is so lucky to have you for his lil brother. This letter is deffinently from your heart and if he reads this and still doesn't get it then I feel very sorry for him. I couldn't agree with you more that he needs to stop being so selfish and realize that his health does affect other's. He is a father and I'm sure his children would be crushed if they lost their father at such a young age. No parent is suppose to out live their children either so my heart bleeds for your parent's. You have done all you can and now it is up to Tony. I will keep him and your family all in my prayers...