A Little Something on the Side
I am a better woman...
I wanted something for myself; something personal that I could call my own. I put all of my time and energy into taking care of my family, I literally sacrificed years of personal time to tend to my children. I felt that I justifiably deserved my own personal “happy place”. It was wise of me not to tell anyone about my intentions. I figured if anyone found out about my new found enjoyment, they would surely ruin my peace. I couldn’t have that. As a woman, I seek balance. It is detrimental that I balance out my life and priorities, otherwise I’d be running wild. I found a way to keep myself balanced and happy. Of course my responsibilities didn’t change, I just learned how to manage my time better. I know that if I take care of all my business, I will have some time for myself. A moment to think or, write, to speak, or say nothing at all. The monotonous routine of everyday life became boring to me. I have everything that I need. I work, I go to school, I have a home, I have my own car…but I needed something else…something just for me.
It’s like a secret hideout spot that only I know about. No one knows the code, or the entrance. No one will ever find out where it is. Inside of that clubhouse is who I really am, that is the only place I can be free. I absolutely love it. I found time for myself, I actually began to feel balanced. I never felt guilty about taking time out for myself, because I stay on top of my business. I am not a selfish woman. I don’t indulge in personal time that often. Oh, but when I do…I really do. I feel every woman deserves it. Especially if she is a strong, determined woman (like me) who handles her business on a daily, with or without a man. I feel it is quite necessary. It doesn’t matter what you do to appease yourself, you must take care of self. The organism is always first. The organism being self. We are selfless creatures, always giving ourselves away to help others. That can be very draining. So my question to you would be, ‘What do you do when you want to just get away…just for a moment’?
I feel safe and protected. I know no harm will come to me when I am in my zone. All honesty and truth. Unspoken words, and unasked question. All knowledge and power. Deep and motivating. The vibration of the earth sending messages to the universe, causing it to react. I visit there often. I believe it is purposeful for me to have a little something on the side that I can enjoy all to myself. It literally keeps me balanced. I don’t expect everyone to understand just where I’m coming from but for those of you who do, stay with me. I am a better woman since I made the decision to have personal time for myself. Like, I literally allowed myself to go ahead and have a little me time. I’m aging gracefully, but time is still ticking. There are a lot of things I would like to experience before the good Lord calls me home. One of them has always been to make time for myself. I was swamped with responsibilities, and although everything was fine, I still felt a void. I know myself. That is also key. You have to know when your conscious is speaking to you. Do not ignore or deny yourself to the extent of unhappiness, that is what I call insane.
Just dropping a little spoken word to remind you that personal time or, “me-time” as it is referred to, is absolutely ok. I commend every man/woman that takes care of their business and striving for greatness on a daily. You should be proud of yourselves. Don’t brag be humble, its ok to share good news. Every once in a while, though, you have to get away. Remind yourself, make plans for it and cancel all other engagements. Balance is an important factor of life, according to Maslows Hierarchy of Needs, self-actualization is at the top. I don’t know about you, but I enjoy every minute of my personal time. I indulge in every moment because I know I will soon have to face my responsibilities again. I never claim to better than any other human being, hell, we’re all kind of messed up. However, I will say this, I am one cool mom and my life became that much greater when I made the decision to have my own personal time. I love it so much; I think I’ll allow myself to continue to enjoy my stolen moments for the rest of my life. This is personal and it isn’t for everybody, it’s for my enjoyment only. I’m a damn good woman, I owe myself a little something on the side.