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A Moment of Clarity

Updated on November 22, 2009

On Mother's Day I went to visit the grave of my grandmother. She passed away several years ago, but I still think about her everyday. I loved her very dearly because she gave me something that no one else could ever give me - she gave me a childhood. We played games, we watched movies, she told stories and I learned life lessons without ever knowing that I was being taught.

I remember sitting there in the middle of her grave, staring at her headstone. You ever stare at the headstone of someone you loved? Looking at the date that began their story and not wanting to believe their story ever ended? I sat there, tears falling from my eyes uncontrollably, and I felt a deeper sense of sadness than I had ever felt before in my life. And then suddenly, in a crescendo of emotion and clarity, I began to take stock of my life and I truly felt as if I had let her down. I could have been so much more, I thought. I should have been so much further along in my life, the train of thought continued. And then I heard a voice that uttered the following words:

"You are better than the man you could have been, but not quite the man you will become."

A perfectly ambiguous edict from an angel that somehow made perfect sense to me. I believe what she was saying was, son, appreciate what you have and what you have accomplished, but never stop trying to be better. We all have but one life to devote to this world. Live everyday with a plan of out living the previous day. Find your riches in whatever you deem or define wealth to be. And don't ever let anyone, including, and maybe even especially yourself, hold you back from what makes you happiest - after all, life's too short.

Remember, we often fail to see the sun because we're too busy looking for the rain. Search for your moment of clarity, and you too will find that the sky was blue all along.


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    • Himitsu Shugisha profile image

      Himitsu Shugisha 7 years ago

      Thank you CP. I appreciate your kind words.

    • Christopher Price profile image

      Christopher Price 7 years ago from Vermont, USA

      This was beautiful.

      You could have stopped at the message you heard from your was perfect. Any explanation after that was anticlimactic.

      You are a fine wordsmith, and I was misty-eyed at the tender telling of this tale.


    • Himitsu Shugisha profile image

      Himitsu Shugisha 8 years ago

      Dohn, your work on this site is excellent, so to get a compliment from you is an honor. Thank you so much.

    • dohn121 profile image

      dohn121 8 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York

      I shared with you in your grief and pain of loss, but especially shared with you the impetus to go forward. Your grandma has certainly given you that even after leaving this world. Wonderful work, Himitsu Shugisha. I hope to read more of your hubs.

    • Lifes Joke profile image

      Lifes Joke 8 years ago

      very ooptimistic

    • Himitsu Shugisha profile image

      Himitsu Shugisha 8 years ago

      Thank you, Angela. Your feedback is invaluable and very appreciated.

    • profile image

      Angela 8 years ago

      Himitsu - that is the most pure, honest, and meaningful message. So often people blind themselves and lose sight of what is important. Thank you for shedding light...

    • Himitsu Shugisha profile image

      Himitsu Shugisha 8 years ago

      Thank you King, your work is excellent as well.

    • kingbyname profile image

      kingbyname 8 years ago from south devon, uk

      You write with great honesty and clarity, Himitsu.

    • Himitsu Shugisha profile image

      Himitsu Shugisha 8 years ago

      John that's the best compliment any writer could hope for. I truly appreciate your feedback!!

    • John Kounoupis profile image

      John Kounoupis 8 years ago from Greece

      Lovely writing style, one can only aspire to have the patience and skill you have to create such wonderful hubs.

    • Himitsu Shugisha profile image

      Himitsu Shugisha 8 years ago

      Wavegirl22, for once I'm speechless. I truly appreciate your kind words. You think my smile is big in the picture, you should see it now. :)

    • wavegirl22 profile image

      Shari 8 years ago from New York, NY

      Himitsu . .we are here right now in the middle of many wonderful memories of the past and hopes for the future..but its today we are living. . and I just know your grandmother is smiling as she looks down at the man she helped mold .. and I am sure it is a smile as big and as beautiful as the one I see in your photo .. Beautiful beautiful hub . .it brought me to happy tears. . Thank you for sharing this.

    • Himitsu Shugisha profile image

      Himitsu Shugisha 8 years ago

      Hookah, I believe that we have similar styles, so I absolutely appreciate your comments. I look forward to reading all of your hubs.

    • Hookah profile image

      Hookah 8 years ago from Kentucky

      Now this, is one hell of a hub, you have such a great way with the written word and conveying what you want meant, your voice is so clear tinged with a hint of sorrow as you reflect. Thank you for sharing this moment in your life.