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A New Kind Of Addict

Updated on October 26, 2009

Legally Addicted

 A few days ago, I began writing a blog about living with depression, anxiety, and medication.  My blog became entirely too long, so I'm making it a book.

I've been on depression and anxiety medication for a number of years now.  There are many reasons why I'm on the medication and there were many times that I have tried to rid myself of the medication.

I want to be off of this medication.  Most people don't take my feelings seriously, because they know that I'm "medicated."  Family members are constantly telling me that I don't need the medication... if only it were that easy.  It can take up to 8 weeks to detox from the medication I am currently on.  And the detox is equivalent to detoxing from heroin.  Nobody is willing to stand by me and help me to stop taking the medication.  It's a very lonely feeling.

But, honestly, I think the worst part of all is not knowing if what I feel or think is real... or if it's the medication making me wacky.  If I happen to say anything out of the ordinary, I'm asked:  "Did you take your medicine today?"  That is one of the worst feelings in the world. 

A lot of people do not realize that depression medication can turn you into a different person.  And I miss the person I was prior to the Med-Madness.  All of the people that I thought could "bring me back" have turned their back on me in some way or another.  No wonder I'm so damn depressed!

Wish me luck as I write my new book.  It's a new venture for me, I try not to write anything too personal...  I will keep everyone updated.

Thank you for reading.

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      Janet McCarthy 

      8 years ago

      Hi Shannon, I enjoyed you hub. I know how it feels. I tried medication and it didn't work. I could not be myself and it did not make me happy. Look at what makes you happy and cherish it. You are a fantastic mother and I hope you can work your way through this. The medicine that was suppose to help you may be turning on you. That sounds crazy but I believe it happens. Check on what your taking and see if you can get a lesser amount or what would your Dr. say to helping you get off just to see what you would feel like...Best wishes to you. You are in my prayers.

    • DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

      DeBorrah K Ogans 

      8 years ago

      ShannonBaich.

      You have presented and interesting subject here. Is it better to medicate someone to the point they loose who they are and still are unhappy when treating depression? Today so many are too eager to medicate someone for whatever reason. It takes time to work through issues, after all they did not just appear overnight, right? I do know that an open heart an objective listening ear goes a long way. You need someone that will walk along side you and be strong enough to tell you when something is not right because they sincerely love you and want you to recover. Recovery is about finding the authentic you is it not? To help you get to a point where you can function, have a quality life, and possibly without being medicated and or recover what has been lost? To help you build a life with purpose!

      I pray that through your writing it becomes a catalyst for the therapeutic process to begin. Developing an ongoing relationship with the Lord will defintely help! God Loves you! My thoughts and prayers are with you. Blessings!!!

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