- Mental Health
A Safe Place... bipolar needs a home.
There are many things that contribute to a mind that is extremely imaginative. Surroundings, growing up, things from the past and things that have not yet happened. Life's story doesn't end until you end. Each day you add to your book of "this is my life" and the out come is never know until you lay your head on your pillow and sleep; though the two are not always in harmony with one another.
If you toss in to the contributing factors a "bipolar" mind, now you have a well round if not often ungrounded imaginative mind. I, being of sound body and Bipolar mind, lol, find writing to be a safe place for me. It is a place that I can share my deepest thoughts with the screen and transform them into a story. It is somewhere that I can go and slow the racing thoughts down, even if for just a little while. Though there are definite issues that come with this disorder, most bipolar people share the gift of imagination and broad, deep thought. For me, it is because over the course of my life, I have lived in a million different worlds. I have gone places in my mind that I will perhaps never see in this lifetime but no matter, for I have been there.
Finding a safe place and a safe person, someone that you can share all you are, the good, the bad and the ugly, and they will still love you and never, ever would they pass judgement on you. The screen is the same for me. What I write here does not effect how the screen receives it or displays it. All to often, where I go in my mind is not always of my own choosing but rather a place my mind takes me for a time. With writing, I Am in control of what I write and how I write it. I answer only to myself for my idiocies and my short comings. Writing is a place, one of the very few places that I feel confident and unafraid of what may come from me sitting in front of the screen. I choose what to write knowing that the choosing "When" to write is rarely in my hands. Life dictates that to me and whether we wish it or not, our writing time is subject to all those around me.
Fear and anxieties, thoughts dark and secretive, a yearning to find that high again that will take me from where I may be in the dark; all part of this mind. It is a stressed, mixed up, scared and unafraid that gives way to the ability to move in to another world and just be. A writer came from the ashes of a burnt mind. Not burned from anything man made but scorched by life's events. And so, I write to know I am alive. I need something to remind me that life is here and life does go on. My writing does that for me while allowing me to travel to places only kings and queens ever see. It is my release, my sanctuary and my home.