A Teen's Journey Through Her First Trimester
I remember looking down at a test. It was blank. Nothing was on it. It was invalid. Why on Earth would I only purchase one? I put the test face up in the trash can and went to bed with some candy sticks. I was not necessarily scared. More like in denial.
The next day, I got home from school. I went to throw something away and there it was. Two lines facing me in the face. I picked it up with a smile on my face. I was going to be a mother. A young mother. A fighting mother.
Then within a minute I realized; I am a mother. My eyes watered and I felt worried. I took a deep breath and told myself, “stay strong, you can do this.”
“Its positive, the test we got yesterday, positive. But, its probably just an evaporation line right?”
“Well, lets go buy another, or this time we will get two. They're only a dollar,” said my sister who was very supportive.
I put the test down and left the bathroom, and paced up and down the hallway. Then I walked into the bathroom. There it was ready for me to take a glance at it. I closed my eyes visualized negative, opened my eyes and it was a positive. A positive, really?
I always wanted to be a mommy. I would dream about holding a precious little girl in my arms. Someone I could love and hold. Someone to cherish. I never in my life thought it would happen when I was just 17.
Thanks to technology I told my boyfriend over the phone. He was supportive, and caring. “Well if you need me I will be there in 6 or 7 hours.” I needed him. To be wrapped in his arms and to know it was all going to work out. That we would be a happy family; the three of us. I knew he had to work so I told him a lie I told him I was fine. I was happy, everything would be okay. But, I was scared. I wanted this child. More than anything I wanted her to have a mommy and a daddy.
As my family found out they all said how disappointed they were with us; my boyfriend and I. I went through the whole thing by myself. My boyfriend should have been there. If they could have only seen how happy we were together maybe they would understand.
Through it all I had one friend. One person to lean on; my sister. She knew it all. She made me feel a lot better. Like, someone who mattered. Like someone who could pull this mommy thing through. “You will make a great mom. It will not be easy. Just finish up school and we will figure it out.”
The first thing I had to do was get through the first trimester with only two months of eleventh grade left. I slept a lot, and did my work wearing my boyfriend's favorite jacket. But, I finished eleventh grade and I was on my way to twelfth. A pregnant senior. A pregnant senior at a Christian school. Yeah not going to happen. Time to transfer.
Over the summer my mom gave me up. My mom gave up on me. My mother. She handed me off to my sister whom I love. But, my mom didn't want me.
Once I was completely settled in my sister's home (I was staying there anyways to help her with her oldest son Michael) it was time to sign up for a school for teen mothers. It was great I wouldn't be the only student pregnant and once I had my baby he/she could come with me. That is when things started to look up for us. My baby and me.
My boyfriend moved in with us and took a low paying job at Blockbuster. It wasn't the best job but it was a start a start for our future. For our hopes and dreams for our child to start flowing, and for once I felt like everything around me was secure.
This is just the beginning of my journey. It is not the end and there is so much more to tell until I finally catch up to my current life. I hope everyone enjoys reading about my journey.