A Warning To New Pot Smokers
My experience with habitual pot smoking
Let me start by saying that I am not here to tell anyone what is right or wrong. What is positive or negative for anyone. Nor how you should live your life. I am writing this as an effort to share some of my personal experience. Give some insight into my time smoking weed and how it effected me. And hopefully help someone build knowledge and perspective in their situation. I am all for the legalization of marijuana, yes, even recreational use. With that being said I do think that there should be more information out there on the effects it can have both short-term and long-term. Information that your buddy who sells you 20$ sacks will not be able to share, or will choose not to share. If you are a new user this information could really serve you well.
Five years ago, or even more recently, I could not even imagine myself writing this and posting it online. I habitually smoked weed every day. I functioned fine and truly saw nothing wrong with it. Sure I was spending maybe 50$ a week in doing so but in my mind it was worth it. I am a musician and still to this day believe it is a very useful tool when writing music. When I was high I could write songs, lyrics, poetry like the wind blows. The euphoria really is, or at least was for me, a convenient short cut (if you will), to get those creative juices flowing. It can make listening to music, watching movies, attending concerts, eating food, having sex, etc., even better than those things already are. That is just a fact as far as many people who use experience those things while high. There really are no physical withdraws from it and any withdraws are strictly mental. It can help with a variety of medical issues such as; headaches, nausea, improve appetite, cancer, and many more aspects. In reality it really is an awesome medicine and awesome recreational drug. Paralleled with alcohol if not ten times better than alcohol (no hangover!).
So why am I writing this and labeling it a warning?
I am writing this as warning because of the unfortunate mental dependency that it had on me. I know that this is not the case with everyone who uses but is or can be the case with many. Most users will either deny it or be so wrapped up in the positives of it and the opinions of those around them that view it in the same positive light, that they will be blinded by how mentally they are addicted to it. The golden rule is "or" should be; "If you can't handle it, don't do it". This was very much so the case with me. And there is nothing wrong with admitting that you cannot handle it. With me personally I was so mentally addicted to smoking weed and being high that without doing so I was truly not able to sleep or eat. Sure I could force myself to eat, but I could not get hungry or have any real appetite. I would lay in bed desperately needing sleep, but my anxiety would be running so far through the roof that I was staring at that there was no rest to be had. I even think that the mental dependency can bring on true anxiety for habitual users. When you are as dependent as I was on marijuana, running out of it can really be earth shattering. I would find myself up late into the a.m. texting friends or pot dealers seeing when I could meet them the next day. Just knowing I was able to get some in the morning would sometimes ease my anxiety.
I became so cautious of running out that eventually i began selling in small amounts just so I knew I would always have it and be able to buy from myself if I needed too. Selling did make it more affordable for me but made me even more so dependent. Really I do not encourage selling, even small time. It can get you into a lot of trouble and be very time consuming. Everyone you sell to will act like your best friend, and the moment you stop selling you will probably never hear from them again. Especially if you became friends with them through selling to them.
Marijuana can very much so be a gateway drug. If it is the first substance you have ever experienced any real euphoria off of it is sure to make you curious about other drugs and the highs they can give you. You will tell yourself, "no, I'll never try that drug "or" ill never do any hard drugs", but you will see (as a new user) that being around pot smokers inevitably will lead you to run ins with people who use harder drugs. Even if its just cocaine for a recreational party night, you will come into contact with more than marijuana after sometime of interacting with that crowd. That my friend is the gateway. Those people aren't bad people but turn and run the other way! This also was the case with me and before I became completely sober as I have been for almost 2 years now(with some recreational use of alcohol and yes smoking weed a few times) I was very much so hooked on Xanax (un-prescribed) and indulged regularly on multiple other hard substances and mixed it all down with alcohol. Not everyone will go down this path but many are likely and more prone to doing so. Be careful!
But back to just marijuana, as I said before, I could always function perfectly on it. Whether I was going to school, going to work, meeting a new person, driving, getting pulled over for speeding and having to talk to a police officer!, playing guitar on stage, singing on stage,etc. Really any situation or activity, you name it, I could do it high. Being high wasn't the problem for me and held no hindrance in my situation . The problem was having to be high constantly. If I was awake I was high.
Now I know that everyone who smokes weed doesn't fall into this category, and more power to you. I will say that I wasn't always that way being so mentally dependent. But over time progressed while using and that was the end result for me, where I remained for years! I could barely get a sober moment in my day even if I wanted to.
So this is just a message to new users to be careful! Remember if you can't handle it, don't do it. And there is nothing wrong with admitting that its not for you. Life is a beautiful thing with or without dependency on a substance. Plus you will save a lot of $$$ overtime.