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A Child's Pain Is Our pain, And We Can Learn From It.

Updated on October 3, 2014

Yes a mere year later she raked the leaves next to this very car and jumped into them.

Somehow she lived through it. But her younger brother that she lead along was not so unscathed.
Somehow she lived through it. But her younger brother that she lead along was not so unscathed. | Source

First let us talk about physical pain and leave sickness out.

Children have pain. A child's pain is one of the most empathy filled occurrences that there are in life. But we can learn from both the child and their pain. A child's pain is a great teacher for both them and ourselves if we let it be. Here are some "growing" pains.

When they are tiny their tummy hurts when they are hungry. So they cry. And we feed them. A tooth comes in and it breaks our heart and we do all we can to soothe that pain. They crawl head first into a door and we hate ourselves for not padding the door. Their first week of walking alone and they fall unto side of the couch and ouch and we hold and hug and bob and weave and coo. A food does not set well and we wish we could have their gas for them. They stub a toe and it is our fault and our pain so we kiss and make better.

Then they run and eat it the first time head long scraping knees, hands and nose. How could we have let them run? Then they run into a wall or such thing. And it is time for a trike and only God knows how but they crash that. About this time they can bang on things and inevitably bang on a finger. Falling out of their big boy bed and smacking things with their gangly growing arms and hands. And now they are learning catch and catching with their face and kicking and kicking immovable object or totally whiffing the kick and falling on their butts.

Such is the pain a parent suffers. Forget about the child, they move on while we suffer mild post traumatic stress syndrome and find ourselves hovering like an OCD maniac.

Are you capable of ignoring the pain in children?

Can you just deal with children's pain purely logically?

See results

This little guy never ever caused his parents concern.

I am talking about the big baby on the left. The little one just "supermaned" of the top of the couch and will see the doctor this morning.
I am talking about the big baby on the left. The little one just "supermaned" of the top of the couch and will see the doctor this morning. | Source

Need we even go into the bike riding phase and being able to fly?

It is ugly. My eldest who learned to ride a two wheeler at barely 3 bought my youngest 3, a really cool bike with no peddles and man can he scoot on that baby. He is already ready for a pedal two wheeler. But wait just a minute as we were out, me running and him riding he put his feet on the handle bars and raised one hand in celebration. It will be a bit before he gets an upgrade.

This thing with the wind in the hair (even with helmet) is scary. In some children it starts a lust for air. So my son took his leap off the back off the couch last night where he lands on the cushions of the seat. But this time he grew a bit and flew a good foot further and landed hard on the rug. He shook it off but will see the doc tomorrow for his knee. It is true kids can fly. It is the landing that gets them.

Valleys and hills and lakes and rivers

Source

Let us talk about traditional men and women

A scraped knee and a mom runs immediately to the aid and give comfort.

A scraped knee and a dad calls the child to him hugs but with an almost aloofness examines the scrape.

Now of course they will both render first aid as is necessary. And in fact will both feel the pain of their child. But the mother wears her's on her sleeve with tears mixed in. The father speaks gently and talks about why the fall occurred.

Neither is wrong and neither is right. (please lighten up, of course I know the rolls can be reversed and sex has almost nothing to do with this nurture notion it is just easiest to use the cliche's)

So we learn that the healthy child learns both methods of helping those in need and we hope he grows to incorporate both in his maturity and reach a balance.

I can fly! My son Gabriel loves this song!

I will not address the teen years and tween years.

That time is tough and needs no revisiting here except to say. If you learned your lessons well early this time period is not painful for you. Only them. Oh there maybe trips to the ER for stitches running into the outfield fence or something busted from skiing or a soccer hairline fracture from a slide that went wrong but that is just the juice of being a parent. Do not get me started on skateboarding.

But we transition here into the world of adult pain that we get from others suffering.

Life is truly beautiful.

"I am so sorry" we say to often.

It is not the words that are said too often it is the reality of the sentiment. Life is full of pain. My wife and I have a dear friend who older that is suffering and injury mightily. We visited and held hands and made her laugh and sneaked in some favorite candy. We held hands and she asked that I lead us in prayer. She will live through it so the prayer was fashioned after St. Francis's prayer with emphasis on the serenity portion. While I am not Catholic she is so we gave appropriate supplication to Mother Mary for intercession. We cried tears of hope.

As we walked away I told my wife that I also prayed that I could take some of the burden of her pain. My wife hauled off and kicked me in my shin! OUch! "What was that for?" I yelled or more yelped. Don't you ever pray for such a thing my wife insisted, you have a family to take care of and clients that need you.


A lesson learned

We all have our jobs to do. From nanny to CEO to soldier to songwriter. We must have compassion and our passions or whither like the winter rose. But we are not capable of bearing the weight of the world on our shoulders. We can no doubt make a difference and help to lesson the pain of others but we do not have the right to lesson our good works by suffering for others.

We must carry on. Perhaps we can take on some extra burdens to help others who suffer but we must grow and not let their pain debilitate us.

Do not take this for granted.

This article was written by Eric Dierker. I reserve all rights to this article and desire no duplication without attribution. On the other hand feel free to share the content just let folks know where it came from. Copying it and claiming it as your own would be stupid and subject you to my legal harassment of you. Besides if someone asked you what it meant you would not know so yes it is copyright protected as original work by me. Just leave a comment to ask to use it elsewhere and please share it.

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© 2014 Eric Dierker

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    • Ericdierker profile image
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      Eric Dierker 3 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      What a lovely addition to this hub, Thank you much The Stages Of Me. Your words are eloquent and uplifting.

    • The Stages Of ME profile image

      The Stages Of ME 3 years ago

      So true, we feel the pain of a child so deeply, as if there is no means of protection that is good enough. We know God protects, and yet we still want to take all the pain away. Then we realize it's in their valley's where they sometimes grow the tallest, and so we hover close and pray for strength and healing, knowing all the while, we're not in control. We surrender those we love knowing always pain is fleeting and love is forever. Great hub :)

    • Ericdierker profile image
      Author

      Eric Dierker 3 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      DDE So true. thanks for sharing.

    • Ericdierker profile image
      Author

      Eric Dierker 3 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Thank you, Emunah, My yogi says "pain is inevitable, suffering is optional"

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Parent and child bond form day one and they share their pain together it is tough when a child feels pain but when a parent feels pain it feels much easier.

    • profile image

      Emunah 3 years ago

      Great Hub! It's hard to accept pain as a part of life but sooner or later we all get a dose of pain. Great Hub! Beautiful pictures.

    • Ericdierker profile image
      Author

      Eric Dierker 3 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      You speak with such wisdom. I just love that video thanks. My boy and I will put on his cape and watch it this eve, not that he needs the encouragement.

    • shanmarie profile image

      shanmarie 3 years ago

      I think you need one more pole option for 'it depends on the circumstances'. Often, I am the one that is all nonchalant about an injury. However, if I feel like it was my fault, it's not so easy. Comes from having worked in daycares and nurseries, I think. Can always tell the toddlers that are coddled at home for every little fall that can easily just be shaken off apart from those that quite possibly have older siblings and parents that have been there and done that. Haha. Anyway, I learned that is often better to not make a big deal out of an injury, especially a minor one.

      Anyway. . .here's a song for you and your son. Hehe

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iB16klLODYk

    • Ericdierker profile image
      Author

      Eric Dierker 3 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Jodah, just back from the doc. on my little one's knee pain. He will be ready to fly off high places again in just a few days. Oh My!

    • Ericdierker profile image
      Author

      Eric Dierker 3 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Dora I know you have been through some tough times this past year. You are a beacon!

    • Ericdierker profile image
      Author

      Eric Dierker 3 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      And you help me through my writing pain as a mentor and a sponsor in my recovery from lousy writing ;-)

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 3 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Being a parent is a roller coaster ride of emotions. Being provider and protector of your brood and also giving them enough rope and freedom to explore and learn from their mistakes. If they are always shielded from pain they will not be able to deal with painful situations when they become adults. Good hub Eric, voted up.

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Isaac Weithers 3 years ago from The Caribbean

      Eric, the younger the child, the more his or pain tear at our guts. Then sometimes as they get older, our compassion gets thinner, but they still suffer genuine pain and they still genuinely need us. Your plea for compassion is appropriate, also your advice that we take care of ourselves. Thank you.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Right on with the message. Pain is a reality....I am amazed by the number of people who almost cease existence when they have a minor ache or pain.....of course, I played ball for some pretty tough coaches, too. Show empathy and compassion...that's my job as a parent, husband and friend.