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ABC's of Self-Realization: Satisfying Self-Confidence

Updated on August 3, 2011

Self-confidence is sometimes hard to come by unless we are fortunate to be raised by a family that instilled that attribute into our minds and hearts. Yes, it dwells within us innately, but the nurturing and positive guidance from parents and older siblings definitely encourages it.

When we are blessed with self-confidence from an early age, the words we say are usually more encouraging and positive. Our actions are usually more beneficial, thought out, and conscious. We are more aware of who we are inside - strong, empowered people. We are clearer about what we wish to create for our future. We are more assured that the path we take will lead us to our final goal and purpose.


When we are raised in a dysfunctional family, more often than not, the guidelines and boundaries are blurred as to who we are and what we are meant to achieve in this life. We seem to struggle harder in choosing what is best for us. We usually don’t even know how we feel about most things because as children, we are not often given choices or the right to speak our thoughts or feelings.

It has been noted that many of those who are abused, neglected, or denied the innate right to make choices or express thoughts and feelings as children are those who often take their choices to extremes. They step back and shut down, allowing their circumstances to overwhelm them and swallow them into oblivion. Or they become adamantly indignant, choosing to let the imposed injustices fuel their determination to do whatever it takes to rise above it all. Many times, this strong determination allows us to become the highest version of ourselves that truly does dwell within. As we become more consciously aware adults, we refuse to believe all the negative viewpoints others had of us as we grew up.


Self-confidence, whether reflected back to us from others or found buried beneath all the indignities we have overcome, is the one characteristic that all of us as human beings have the right to experience. We are not any less valuable or important than anyone else just because we come from a dysfunctional background. Each of us is given, innately, the empowerment, wisdom, and courage to make the most fulfilling choices we can for our lives. It is, once again, up to every single person to either be devoured by darkness or be sure and strong and confident in Who We Are and What Purpose we fill in being part of this phantasmagorical journey called “Life”.

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    • profile image

      Lene Lynn 

      7 years ago

      Danette, I totally agree with you and nobody knows that better than I! :) Thanks for reading and for your compliment! Happy Sunday to you!

    • Danette Watt profile image

      Danette Watt 

      7 years ago from Illinois

      You are right on here! Self-confidence needs to be nurtured by family or it become squelched. Young children rarely have the inner strength to remain self-confident in the face of resistance.

    • profile image

      Lene Lynn 

      7 years ago

      Hi Wheel, I agree with you to some extent about about self-confidence not crossing boundaries. I was hardly ever praised much at all for anything. Even the things I did well were not noticed or commented on by my parents very often. I now know as an adult that I sing well, write well and can discuss psychology quite well. It took me years to believe in my own abilities in those areas. I am so glad you were raised differently and better. I don't know why more parents can't reward and acknowledge good behavior either. I sure wish they would! Thanks for the comments. I love hearing others' perspectives. Have a great weekend!

    • wheelinallover profile image

      Dennis Thorgesen 

      7 years ago from Beatrice, Nebraska U.S.

      Self confidence doesn't always cross boundaries in our lives. We can be very confident in one area and have really low self esteem in another.

      Much of my early life was this way. I was made very aware that I didn't measure up in school but when I was home or in the wilderness my confidence soared. I did gain confidence at school however it took years. Language was a barrier for me.

      For me the biggest thing was the sense that what I was doing was needed and appreciated by the ones around me when I was home or in the wilderness. One of the things

      I have noticed is parents now don't praise correct behavior but are quick to punish incorrect behavior, my upbringing was different. I was praised much more than I was punished. This helps build self confidence and I don't know why it isn't being used more.

    • profile image

      Lene Lynn 

      7 years ago

      crackers, that's awesome! The universe speaks to us through ALL kinds of signs and words, etc...that's so neat! I actually have seen symbolism regarding raptors twice in the last 2 days!Thanks for commenting! :)

    • crackers10 profile image

      crackers10 

      7 years ago from DreamWorld

      It's a funny,I've actually been thinking about this subject lately lol. Good article,thanks!

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