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ANGER

Updated on February 15, 2008

I know as a child and young person growing up I was never taught anything about Anger and how to cope with it. I always felt left out...depressed...and sad. No one to confide in.

Parent's didn't seem to think children got angry ( well in my younger day's which were a while ago ). Children were seen and not heard.

As a youngster you may kick..scream...bite..hit..throw things. but it's because either you can't speak yet and / or don't know how to express your feeling's any other way. It is a signal that something is bothering the child.

Anger is not a bad thing. It means simply that maybe our needs aren't being met...our sense of fairness is ignored...or even our rights are being violated.

It is as natural a feeling as any other and also it is O K. They need to be re-assured and learn how to control their behavior (we all do) and not to harm anyone or destroy other's things. To help with releasing the anger you can punch a pillow...jump on an old bed..shred paper..write in a journal..stomp your feet...whatever you need to do that is safe.

It is important not to say for instance "You shouldn't do that" or "that's not nice". they need to be able to express emotions safely...those emotions can cause big trouble later ! !

And what better place to learn to express anger in a helpful way then with the security and safety of their loving parents.

Not all children show anger in the same way. some get irritated, some stress out and some bury their anger ( as I did ). You need to know what triggers what and adjust your strategies accordingly.

Parents need to control themselves also. Try to stay calm and in control,don't give in..then they learn what they can do to win and get their way.

Respect your child's anger and help him transform it. Everyone will be happier all through life if taught Anger is O K Controlled.

Am no expert on this but during my years of childcare I have seen many an angry child go un-controlled or taught it is natural and O K.

G-Ma :o) hugs

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    • G-Ma Johnson profile image
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      Merle Ann Johnson 10 years ago from NW in the land of the Free

      Charlene..am sorry to hear that and that is why we all need to know Anger is ok and we need to teach our children that it is.

      bitv..thank you for your comment and I do realize what a teacher goes through as well as a care giver..which is my profession.It is important to know anger is normal and is ok and should always be talked about..Once you can release your feelings you will be a better person as well as more understanding..

      ripplemaker... yes you got it..it is very important to know your feelings and that they are perfectly normal..and you need to acknowledge each and everyone...but it truly helps if parents also explain and talk about them. G=-Ma :o) hugs

    • ripplemaker profile image

      Michelle Simtoco 10 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

      It is a good reminder that we need to acknowledge our feelings - including anger. How to deal with the emotion is now the challenging thing. But when dealt with, can help children and adults cope with life really well. :-)

    • profile image

      bitv 10 years ago

      I have seen more damaged children by the unconsummated ignorance of parents.And,in my profession,the parents would blame the teacher unconstructively for their child's behavior proactive malevolence.It's hard being a parent -I don't know how you all do it.Anger is a disease unto it's self..I have learned to hold my tongue,many a time.Don't anger just to be hurtful..especially the children.Your only a child once...substantial advice here.Love ya post more everyday.I'm a'going to get a'goin...........off to the funny farm..keep smiling.

    • profile image

      Charlene 10 years ago

      Hi Mele thank y ou for the advice after being punch so many time ,sometime we forget how to behave, not that i`m brutal: there are time i really don` know how to cop or deal with things like a child throwing himself down and slammimg the floor and screaming, for things you don`t want to give him, i usually lift him up and put him in the cart, i undestand by your resume the best way to cope with him is trying to explain thing,sso he can understand, Thanks for the advice, Sincerely your friend Charlene

    • G-Ma Johnson profile image
      Author

      Merle Ann Johnson 10 years ago from NW in the land of the Free

      Well thank You sweetie..Anger is no good and is importent to teach about it to the young. Have a good day.. G-Ma :o)

    • Hovalis profile image

      Hovalis 10 years ago from Australia

      That's excellent advice, G-Ma, as someone who also buried her anger I can attest that if you don't learn how to deal with it early on it can affect the rest of your life as you repeat the same behaviours over and over again.

      Great hub. :-)

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