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Acceptance in a Foreign Country

Updated on October 20, 2016

Life has Changed in a Foreign Country

The view of the mountainous region close by
The view of the mountainous region close by | Source
View on a cloudy day surrounding the mountains
View on a cloudy day surrounding the mountains | Source
A different color range
A different color range | Source
The old Mysterious castle close by
The old Mysterious castle close by | Source
My beautiful Bougainville
My beautiful Bougainville | Source
A village with old houses
A village with old houses | Source

Close Friendships in A Foreign Place

My culture and nationality allows me to feel great and happy in a new environment.

I live in a happy and modern lifestyle, and enjoy learning daily.

My life is not just about cooking, cleaning, and watching television.

It is not about talking with boring people, and about cleaning up after others.

I enjoy living my flexible lifestyle.

While observing the lives of others, their traditional and old-fashioned lifestyles I know it is difficult for me to live as they do.

Too different and getting used to another culture is difficult to comprehend.

I chose to write this hub from my personal experiences from the local people.

Living in a village with over one hundred people, is a challenging effort.

I speak the British English.

My life is not like their lives in anyway.

I enjoy dancing and they find that old-fashioned.

My friendly smile rips them kindly.

My confidence pulls them apart.

My way of enjoying myself is not anything like how they do.

I speak directly to people but with caution.

When I am together with the local women I always feel superior.

I have my own life.

I speak English at home and not the Croatian language.

Most of the local people think we should speak the Croatian language at home. To make the language part of our daily conversations.

I listen to my own instincts, and don't need anyone to tell me how I should approach my decisions.

My way of life is my way.

The local people are materialistic people it is what makes them the happiest.

I on the other hand am the complete opposite.

I prefer being happy with love and happiness and good health.

Certain people look down on others if others have a poor standard of living.

For example:

A family who has a fancy home, a car and are wealthy these people don't care to visit the families who don't have that wealthy lifestyle.

The wealthy family looks to the other family as beneath them.

We don’t have much in common, and don’t laugh at the same jokes.

I do try to communicate as much as I can with the local people.

Since we don't much in common I try to go on with my life in my way.

This is to make my moment a happy one with preferred company.

This happens everywhere in the world but in a small community, I often see new events each day.

Life is what you make of it is what I believe in!

The phrases such as, ‘’when you in Rome do as the Romans do,'' or ''if you can’t beat them then join them,'' are all easier said than done.

I have not experienced such behaviors before I came to Croatia.

I see how most people live here, and also learned lots about these people.

The envious kind, and the fake kind of people, exist around me.

I try to keep my distance, and it works perfectly for me.

I am just me!

My experiences allows me the opportunity to write when I can.

To share with my readers, and to enlighten the minds of my readers of my new life in a foreign country.

I will always be the foreigner in this circle. Sometimes it felt difficult to cope with the conversations with others.

As unusual as it may appear to the eyes of the local people, happiness to me is normal.

I grew up in a happy childhood, and will not change the way I am for anyone.

Most of the local people have not accepted me in their lives.

I am living in Croatia for many years, and still have to go through the many challenges.

It is like these moments won't go away, or will always be different.

No matter how much I try to fit in, it is not happening for me.

I have decided to focus on my life, totally, and not to visit anyone unless asked occasionally.

  • The more I see, the more I don't want to be with such kind of people.

I have tried helping out on odd times and each time. I learned something new and there is always an individual who will try to make me feel as the outsider (the foreigner).

I find it hard to understand of how they can behave this way, I live here and speak to these people daily.

Accepting foreigners in any country is not a friendly gesture. The far too many envious lives of the local people has got to me lately.

I enjoy talking, and visiting people but understanding their mentality is most inconvenient or complicating for me.

Have you ever felt this way living in a foreign country?

The local people do like me. I would be easily accepted if I gave up my way of life in return.

I am a tough nut to crack, and won't give in. I can't just throw away the part of me that makes me the happiest

They don't understand me, and that all they want is for me to let go of my modern lifestyle, and to fall into their old-fashioned life.

Growing up in a westernized life made me the modern person I am today, and I like it that way.

Trying to make me something I am not, is not going to work out.

I prefer the easy and convenient life.

I have will not allow any other to take away what makes me just me.

Life here has never been easy from day one for me. There is too much of red tape, and it took me forever to get started on a project. I had to wait a while for paper work to be sorted out.

I waited for six years to become a Croatian citizen, and finally, I am able to have my own business.

All the time I spent here was my greatest of challenges that I ever had to go through.

To put up with people who find it so hard to accept me without change.

Another experience that would eventually pass and will always be talked of among us.

  • It has been most difficult to start speaking the language, and now that I know so much more of the language and of the behavior of the different people.

I can still take on more challenges.

Life is what you make of it!

I know that if I sulk nothing will feel good in my life. To feel good I write. Family is important to me. I enjoy spending time with family.

Conversations get better and I am positive about my new beginning in Croatia.

People are the same everywhere and should be treated with respect.

I can't pretend to be happy when I am not happy. I will not put on a pretense smile I can't do what others do. A difficult life to be in if not born into it.

The South Eastern part of Croatia called Konavle

Coping with Foreign People

How Do you Cope with Life Living in a Foreign Country?

See results

Beautiful Europe

The open-minded writer who enjoys sharing her interests.
The open-minded writer who enjoys sharing her interests. | Source

© 2014 Devika Primić

Comments

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    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      This has never happened to me but I can see how difficult it would be. Best wishes in your future.

    • sallybea profile image

      Sally Gulbrandsen 3 years ago from Norfolk

      DDE I sense that you are having a difficult time into integrating into Croatia, even after sometime in the Country. In the UK the Croatians find it difficult being among the English, I am afraid this is a universal problem.

      Perhaps you would find it easier if you were able to speak the language to those whose country you have adopted. We all have so much to learn from each other and the only way we do it, is through language and speaking to one another.

      As an ex South African with English parents my transition has been a lot easier because I speak my mother tongue.

      I wish I could say it will become easier for you. I think that when we become part of another nation, perhaps we have to, in part adopt our new country and enjoy all which it has to offer, including the culture of it's people.

      I truly hope that things get easier for you.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi sallybea thank you for the kind comment in trying to make a more simpler understanding of my situation I fully agree with your opinion.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      billybuc thank you for sharing your opinion always appreciated.

    • kidscrafts profile image

      kidscrafts 3 years ago from Ottawa, Canada

      I think when you move in a new country, it's important to try to understand those people and their culture. There are so many things to learn and enjoy when you move to a new place. I know that at time it can be difficult but it's so enriching as well. Myself, I feel very fortunate to have been able to live in different places and to have learn so much of the people around me. For me difference doesn't mean that people are less worth it, it means that I have something to learn.

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 3 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Hi DDE, I have never lived in another country but my son's wife is Indonesian and we had to travel there for the wedding. We were surprised by the difference in culture although we were made to feel very welcome. The divide between rich and poor there is very great, much more than we are used to. Even though they live practically side by side. You have beggars on the street and stalls set up on the footpath/sidewalk in front of mansions. The Chinese/Indonesians are the most wealthy and will not associate with the native Indonesians, other than employ them as servants. The opulence is amazing, the poverty depressing. Image and appearance is everything and the mark of success there. I could not wait to return home. It must be very hard for you to become integrated into a different culture, and I wish you well. I do feel though that it is up to the foreign individual to try to accept and learn the culture of their new country of residence however and do their best to fit in.

    • FlourishAnyway profile image

      FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

      I sense you are having quite a difficult time living in a close knit community where you will always be the one who is "from away" (not from there originally. Life is so short. I hope you can find a way to be happy.

    • sunilkunnoth2012 profile image

      Sunil Kumar Kunnoth 3 years ago from Calicut (Kozhikode, South India)

      DDE

      There is a saying like Be Roman When You Are in Rome. I don't know why you take a different attitude. What is advisable is mingle with the people as far as possible to feel their culture and learn their language. Learning one more language is a good thing and will help you many ways. I am little bit upset after reading this hub as it doesn't reflect your true personality. In HP, you were friendly ,social and also encouraged people well. Croatia is a very different culture and that may be one reason for your rather different attitude. Hope you will enjoy your stay and lead a happy life there. My sincere advise is never feel superior or inferior before anyone. Be a loving and caring person. Love and get loved. Best of luck and wish you more cheers.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      kidscrafts ''the differences doesn't mean that people are less worth it, it means that I have something to learn.'' Well said thank you kindly.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Jodah I fully understand your points here and it can be difficult to live in such different ways I am coping but in my own way. Thank you kindly.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      FlourishAnyway I am happy but can feel left out at times acceptance is important and sometimes I don't feel accepted but in time that too will pass thank you for sharing your encouraging thoughts here.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi sunilkunnoth2012 I wrote this hub after the continuous feeling of being left out I try my best to mingle believe me I do sometimes everything feels good and then at times everything feels different I am well-liked and true about what I say I am a positive person after the many obstacles I do feel stronger don't get me wrong I will always be that friendly and kind person and you are right this hub does not show my true personality I was trying to get over my recent upsetting experience by writing about how I sometimes feel in this foreign country. Thank you for sharing your encouraging comment it made me think more about my life of happiness.

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Isaac Weithers 3 years ago from The Caribbean

      DDE, you're a strong woman. Thank you for sharing your experiences.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      MsDora thank you for sharing your encouraging words here I appreciate your comments

    • Eiddwen profile image

      Eiddwen 3 years ago from Wales

      A great read and thanks for sharing my friend. Voted up and shared.

      Eddy.

    • Pamela99 profile image

      Pamela Oglesby 3 years ago from United States

      I have never had this experience, but I think it would be hard to fit into a new country tht has different customs. I wish you much happiness.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Pamela99 so kind of you to comment on my hubs I appreciate your efforts thank you very much

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Eiddwen thank you very much for commenting

    • D.A.L. profile image

      Dave 3 years ago from Lancashire north west England

      After following your writings for a while now I have formed the opinion that you are a very strong person who believes in her self and this has carried you through some very bleak times. You do not have to in a foreign country to feel like an outsider. Here in England if you move into a village that you were not born in you can be made to feel an outsider for years. Your strength and smile and your lack of need for materialistic things will always stand you in good stead with these kind of people. keep them both up, I wish you well.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Good Day D.A.L. my life had many challenges and still I feel strong about all my obstacles overcome thank you kindly for the encouraging words I appreciate your kindness.

    • thumbi7 profile image

      JR Krishna 3 years ago from India

      I have no experience of living in another country. But India itself is a country of cultural diversities. I don't feel superior or inferior to anyone just because I am culturally different from them.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      thumbi7 interesting thoughts from you and I agree thank you

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image

      Shyron E Shenko 3 years ago

      Devika, this has not happened to me, and I would not like to see this happen to anyone who come to my country to live.

      I would love to learn the Chrokee language, that is a language that is part of this country and that is part of my ancestry, it makes me sad that the people who came did not want to speak the Native American Language. The Cherokee were here long before the white man came and took away their homes and land.

      I don't feel that I am superior, and I don't feel that I am inferior. I am just who I am, and I like me. I hope that you love yourself.

      Shalom (Peace), God bless

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Shyron E Shenko firstly I love myself and am a positive person I speak with confidence and know that my culture is different to the catholic culture. I love me for who I am and for what I am. The people here treat me with respect and feel inferior to me I speak English and most of the older generation don't speak English mostly French, Italian, and Spanish and off course their native language. I just feel if only they would accept me without me making the change as they do expect of me our understanding would me much simpler thank you for commenting have a pleasant day.

    • RTalloni profile image

      RTalloni 3 years ago from the short journey

      This is interesting to me because we live in a location that attracts people from all over the world. We've had the privilege of making friends with people from a variety of social backgrounds and who speak just as wide a variety of languages. None of these individuals think that they are superior or inferior either because they speak English or because they have retained their birth language.

      While a wide range of cultures are represented in the group we all have a common goal that leaves no room for self focus, but rather unites these people and us with them for a much higher purpose. If we held up a so-called westernized life-style to our friends from other places as a goal we would not be able to enjoy them and their unique backgrounds nor would we be united with them in efforts that are much more important than ourselves.

      I was a little confused by some of the contradictory comments in this post, but was glad to read in the end that you have found some satisfaction in starting to speak the language of the people you live among because that will help your understanding of them.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      RTalloni I know the contradictory comments are just how they feel about this hub I think in time it will all work out well I am used to my lifestyle but do have some not so good days but speaking the language is really a great breakthrough so glad you shared your mind here have good evening. Thank you.

    • agusfanani profile image

      agusfanani 3 years ago from Indonesia

      I like the way you keep your strength and self-confidence and I can imagine it's not easy to find the best approach for principle differences. I hope you're doing well there always.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      agusfanani thank you I am doing well here acceptance is a great fact in m ylife right now and feel left out at times but my life is good here.

    • tillsontitan profile image

      Mary Craig 3 years ago from New York

      Moving to Croatia was a brave thing to do. I'm sure there are so many differences and being such a strong woman makes it difficult at times. Like anything else there are good days and bad days.

      Perhaps as others have said, speaking more of the Croatian language will bring more acceptance and bring more people to look at you as one of them instead of an outsider.

      Here's hoping you have more good days than bad.

      Voted up and interesting.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi tillsontitan So true about all you have mentioned and I do intend on having more good days thank you kindly for the vote up and interesting.

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image

      Shyron E Shenko 3 years ago

      Devika, I have an idea... Christmas, I made some candies a week before and kept them in the frige and took them with me.

      There were lots of people I did not know. They were not ignoring me, but did not talk to me very much.

      After dinner, my hostess put my candies out on the counter. On man took one and he 'oh my! These are good and others went to have one, and everyone was saying: "Who made these?" and they were coming up to me and asking how did you make these?"

      So..my suggestion is that you make the same candies and refrigate them, then when you know that you are going to a party you take them and place them on the table (without a word). I think you will be surprised.

      Blond Logic has a hub is called, "How to make Brigadeiro."

      I like the Bejinhos.

      I hope this helps.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Shyron you are so right sounds a helpful idea thank you for thinking of something different.

    • jainismus profile image

      Mahaveer Sanglikar 3 years ago from Pune, India

      Most of the times living in other counties or amongst people of different culture, language is difficult. There are many reasons for this, including we can not adopt their culture quickly and they can not accept us easily.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      jainismus ''There are many reasons for this, including we can not adopt their culture quickly and they can not accept us easily.'' is definitely the reason for me finding it a bit hard to fit in but life here is fine for me and I am enjoying my life most important of all I am happy.Thank you for stopping by.

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