"Acrimony": A Viewer's Confession
This article is not a review of any kind but rather a breakdown of the film Acrimony and using the film's elements to find meaning in life, not only mine but yours as well. If you're here looking for a review then follow this link: https://hubpages.com/entertainment/Acrimony-Movie-Review - and now that that has been said, let's continue.
My name is Alec Zander professionally. It's not my real name, merely a pseudonym. However, you can just continue referring to me as Alec. Right now, it has been a day after I saw Acrimony. The film spoke to me, leading me to write my confession. As many of you probably can attest, it's difficult holding in your thoughts and emotions, especially when you're afraid of what those closest to you may think. "Will my friends hate me?", "Will my parents no longer love me?", "Am I just meant to not be happy?" - these are just a few of the questions that have and still do run through my mind. As a person who struggles with atypical depression, anxiety, and possible schizophrenia, it's safe to say my brain never really "shuts off". It's always moving, always panicked, always overly riddled with thoughts that shouldn't even be in there. I struggle with overcoming suicidal thoughts and I also have trouble finding a reason as to why I am even here. Thanks to Acrimony, I'm here to discuss with you, my loyal readers and newcomers, about life and mental illness.
First, before I dive into the film study, I want to give you all my confession. As I watched this film, I realized I was almost exactly where this poor woman was. I was working at a store about 7 years ago, in the year 2011, around the beginning of September. I had transferred departments and met a beautiful woman. She was an employee there, and was beyond stunning. At first, she seemed quiet, smart, funny, everything one would look for in a woman. She certainly stood up for herself when the time called for it but for the most part seemed like an incredible person. As Melinda in Acrimony says, "The devil sure knows how to put a package together."
Now, I won't say what her name was, mainly because I don't want her nipping my heels again. That's also the reason why I won't say where I was working either. No names, at all. Continuing on, I gave this woman my number because I did not want her to be the one that got away. You know that feeling, right? When you don't take the leap and the person you were truly in love with ended up marrying your best friend or some rich sheik? Come to find out, she was dating someone. So, I instead remained her friend. We got to know each other rather well and, within a couple months, she had broken up with her boyfriend. I too was talking with someone unofficially but I blew her off completely for this new girl. That act remains my number one regret in life. I hurt a kind, wonderful woman for this other woman. Around the middle of December 2011, we began getting a bit closer. Both of us moved faster than either of us should have, but we were young and thought we would be together for life. I was convinced she was the one. This, however, was the beginning of a long line of trouble that I wish I could take back.
It was around Christmastime when she and I first became intimate. After a few times, we had an "accident". She revealed she was late and we thought she might actually be pregnant. Turns out she wasn't, and I honestly thank God for that. She decided from then on that we should no longer have sex, that she wanted to wait until marriage. She said she wanted to be the first person in her family to be married before she has a child. I respected her choice and agreed that that was the best direction to take. By the middle of January, she had moved in with me and by February, we were engaged. Up until this point, she was an amazing person and was sweet beyond compare. After she got the ring on her finger, however, her sweet act melted away to reveal the demon she truly was. She knew exactly what to say and how to say it. She knew how to twist my thoughts and words in order to make me feel like I was stupid, that I was a joke and immature and a momma's boy. She mentally crippled me to the point that I honestly thought I was nothing without her, that I had to give her the world to satisfy her and keep her happy. She was a partier and would often disappear some nights to go do God knows what. I watched as she drained my grandfather's money away. I watched as she drained me of life. I watched as she almost caused me to lose everything I had, including my grandfather's home. Did she physically take the money? No. Did she physically beat on me? Eh, sometimes but that was in a playful manner....I think. As I said before, she knew exactly what to say and do in order to get me locked in a mental prison. It wasn't until late September of 2012 that I told her to get out. Within two weeks she was gone. I was emotionally exhausted, my depression and anxiety now magnified to the extreme. It took me 5 years to get to the point where I could function again. Throughout the 9 months that I was with her, I was harassed nonstop by managers, lost my job, lost my grandfather's life savings, and nearly lost his home and everything I owned. When she left, she moved in with the security guy for her workplace (which is a huge no-no). I have no concrete proof but I'm certain she was cheating on me with him and other men as well. I found out she was pregnant with his child, which directly contradicted her statement that she did not want to have sex until marriage. Put two and two together here. She was a very sexual person. If she wasn't getting it from me and she contradicted her own statement, the only logical conclusion is that she was getting it from someone else. So after rambling on and on about the worst year of my life, I confess to you that I was hoodooed. Karma bit her in the ass though as it turned out the man she moved in with was a sexual predator. So now, to the breakdown and discussion. You will find that directly below the picture beneath this sentence.
I promise, all of my rambling has a point to it. (Final Spoiler alert)
In the film Acrimony, Melinda meets Robert in college. The two of them start dating and seem completely in love. Robert couldn't get a job because he didn't have a car to get there. She used some of her inheritance to buy him one. Melinda found out Robert was cheating, even caught him in the act, and destroyed his home/RV in revenge. He said his fling meant nothing to him, that it was nothing more than sex and that he truly loved Melinda. He weaseled his way back into her heart and mind, and continued leeching off her. Pretty soon it was another excuse, this time that he had lost his scholarship and couldn't pay for his last two semesters. Melinda fell for his pity party and paid it for him. She gave and gave and gave until every penny of her inheritance was gone. She was working two jobs just to make ends meet. Robert was however too busy perfecting his invention that he didn't bother getting a job to help her. He also had hidden from her that he was a convicted felon and couldn't get a job if he tried. Was that a lie or the truth? We'll never really know, but that's the genius behind con artists. After a while, you can't see the line anymore. After a while, you lose yourself and you can't see beyond their lies, excuses, and cons. So yes, I was exactly where poor Melinda was. I let the conner con me. She got inside my head and ripped my mind to shreds. I found myself sympathizing and empathizing with her. I found myself wishing I could jump inside the screen and warn her. But alas I had to watch. I had to see the story unravel the way I knew it would. They married and faced a decline. He slept downstairs and became more of a roommate than a husband. He leeched off her, destroyed her mentally and financially, and when she finally got the courage and presence of mind to kick him out, she had lost her momma's house and her sisters were in ruin, close to losing their own business. Robert finally hit it big with his invention, receiving 75 million for his machine. Robert, in an act of apology, gave Melinda 10 million dollars and bought back her momma's house, putting the deed in her name. He tried to make up for what he did. That's something that never happened to me. When She left, she didn't apologize or try to make things right. She moved on to the next man right in front of my eyes without remorse or a second thought. Instead of trying to move on, however, Melinda became obsessed with Robert. She stalked his Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. She found out Robert got engaged to the woman that he had cheated on Melinda with back in college. Melinda fell into a pit of rage, almost to the point of being deranged. She attacked both of them on social media, destroyed Robert's fiancée's wedding dress with acid, and tried to sue him for half his fortune. When all else failed, Melinda went to a place that I never went to. Thanks to God and my family, I didn't get to the point of no return. Melinda snuck onto Robert's boat, forced the entire crew to jump, shot Robert and even tried to kill him with an axe. She had flipped entirely, the end result devastating for everyone.
The mental toll that prolonged trauma takes on a person does vary, but there are some people like Melinda or myself that are sensitive, that can't handle certain things. Everyone has their limits, some weaker than others.
I've said all this to enter the following plea to all of you: find you a safety net. Find that person you can talk to no matter what. It can be your mom or dad or a sibling or a friend. Even if it's a therapist, talk to someone. Open yourself up to their advice and don't push them away. They are there for you. They're the ones that love you and care about you. Be aware of the conner and be alert for those that want to use you and abuse you. There are people out there that will play on your weaknesses, whether it's a person or an illness, and use it against you. Be wary and be careful. If any of you need someone to talk to, or just someone to listen, comment on this article. Click on my author page and follow the links to my facebook, twitter, and website. Message me. I will listen. I care.
© 2018 Nathan Jasper