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Alcoholism | The Beginning of Recovery
Questioning Your Own Behavior
This is where it starts. After you start running out of people to blame, excuses, lies and for negative happenings in your life, you may start thinking, " Maybe it's me." You may lose jobs. Lose relationships. Wonder why you're broke all the time. Get arrested for D.U.I. You may feel bad physically. Not just from drinking, but from not eating right, sleeping right and just plain stressed out. The list goes on. Consequences get more severe, but you keep on drinking. With these and many others, you search for a common thread. Something that is present at every issue. This personal inventory, if you will, has to be done with total honesty to yourself, or you are wasting your time. That's not easy. Humility is one of the hardest things to accept in the world because it means deflating our own ego. And believe me, we all have those monster egos. Who wants to look in the mirror and say, " I guess I'm not all that." Or,"I need help." If alcohol is present, in some form, you should explore further.
Alcoholism Through Heredity
Do you believe alcoholism can be inherited?
How'd I Get This Way?
You may wonder if this is hereditary. You may read the T.H.I.Q. theory. You may think it's contagious. My favorite was, " I was born that way." That made my alcoholism easier to accept because it now wasn't something I created.
What I tell you is, " It doesn't matter." Today and what you are is all that matters. How and why is in the past and can't be changed. But the path to the future can . So, whether you think you are alcoholic or not doesn't much matter at this point. All you know is you want bad things to stop happening. You want to feel better about yourself, physically and emotionally. You want to solve your problem.
Recognizing, Accepting, Surrendering
So, now that you've looked at your list of issues, you recognize, not only do you have a problem, but what the problem is. After you cut through all the ideas that drinking brought nothing but fun and good times, you'll recognize the prices for those times were pretty high. But you continued to do it anyway. The party ended with an auto accident. The date ended in an argument. The euphoric buzz turned into a hellish hangover. Or the horrible feeling of waking up and saying those dreaded words, " Where is my car?" or " How'd I get home last night", or "What is your name?"( That one is really bad.) You now recognize that there is a problem. Now, let me explain acceptance of the problem.
A diabetic doesn't know they are diabetic until they consume sugar and have ill effects from it. (There's a parallel there. Get it?) Then, they accept that they are a diabetic. This means they say," This is the way it is and it isn't going to go away. So, how do I live a happy, healthy life while having this condition or disease?" Well, the first thing is to omit sugar from their diet. For us, we eliminate alcohol. But that's not enough. They have to add to their life the thing that is missing. That would be insulin. For us, it's something to fill the void left by taking alcohol out of our life. See, we had no idea how pre-occupied we were with our drinking. How much time was consumed by drinking.And how progression works. And most of all, how much we depended on alcohol for comfort, escape and confidence. Now, that's gone. What's left is ourselves, as we really are. We are a beaten bunch. This is where surrender comes in.
Surrendering is winning! For years we have fought a gallant battle against this problem, but we realize it's a battle that we cannot win. As a matter of fact, our beatings get worse and worse. We are left 2 choices; die or surrender. This is much like the Japanese in WWII. When we dropped the A bomb, they surrendered. What they did was admit that they were no match for the destructive power of our weaponry. By giving up, it stopped the destruction, pain and losses. That's what us problem drinkers have to do. Stop the destruction of our own lives by admitting defeat. That means dropping the notion that we , some day, can win this battle. We can now move on and make the repairs needed to lead a somewhat normal life. This is where progress can be made. It's also where the real work begins.