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Allow Yourself To Grieve The Loss Of A Loved One

Updated on October 29, 2014

When a loved one passes away, sometimes you may be left with feelings of sadness for awhile. People may have their own way of grieving. My grandmother's parents were Italian immigrants and she told me that she when she was young, her father had died at a young age. My grandmother, her siblings, and her mother all wore black clothes for an entire year after his death as they were going through the period of grieving. She told me that this was an old tradition for some Italians.

There are grieving traditions and different ways of dealing with death. When I was speaking to my therapist, he told me that grieving is the right thing to do in order to heal. He told me that it is best to go with the grieving, than against it. I was taught that grieving is a natural process that takes time and plays a part in the process of healing. So, therefore, it is okay to feel sad and down for awhile, to listen to sad songs or to look at pictures of your loved one who has passed and to talk about that person often.

When you lose a loved one, it may be hard to think about anything else besides that person. You may find that daily chores and tasks are harder to do and your interest in hobbies and other activities may diminish. It may be hard to concentrate on much of anything. So, allow yourself to grieve and feel sad and accept those feelings.

This is why, at most funerals, the music being played is more solemn or sad. Eulogies are given to talk about the person who has passed away. You are expected to grieve and these songs and speeches help you to do so. By letting go of the feeling that you should be doing something else or letting go of trying to desperately make yourself feel better when it is just not working, you are giving yourself some down time to heal.

Grieving can be one of the most devastating times of your life, but going through the grieving process may be just what you need to do at the time. You may be hearing other people suggesting that you do other things and keep busy rather than to grieve. However, from what I have learned, it is healthy to grieve and accept your life as it is after experiencing the death of a loved one.

Eventually, as time passes, the grieving process may lessen and you may find that there are more days where you are able to cope and start to gently move forward. You may feel that getting out of the house with a friend or family member could help or getting back into doing things that you once enjoyed. Healing from the death of a loved one may take a long time. Talking to a therapist or joining a bereavement support group may help as part of your grieving and healing process.


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    • Sunshine Days profile imageAUTHOR

      Sunshine Days 

      3 years ago

      Thank you for your comment, Denise.

    • denise.w.anderson profile image

      Denise W Anderson 

      3 years ago from Bismarck, North Dakota

      It is tough to grieve. In fact, it is just plain hard work! The emotions we experience takes in waves that go up and down, and swirl in and around. You are right in that it takes time, and we need to allow ourselves that time. We don't have to listen when others say it is time to move on. We can do so when we are ready.


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