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An Emptiness Like No Other

Updated on September 20, 2011
Froggy213 profile image

In 2007, Greg's 23 month old Grandson was killed. At that point, he found a need to write about his family, crime, and local issues.

She Is In Heaven

My heart aches.

I write this hub with a very heavy heart and tears have flowed and flowed.

On Tuesday, November 23rd, 2010 my wife of almost 30 years died. I was there when it all happened and her death will probably haunt me the rest of my life. The nurse who asked if Jonda was my Mom still irks me. She is my wife, my beautiful loving wife who became one with me on a cold winter day in 1981.

Jonda had health problems and has faced many battles, but I do believe she should not have died that night. Maybe a lawyer will be able to tell me soon.

A friend of mine helped me that night. The hospital, Barnes/Jewish in St Peters, Missouri, told us that night they didn't have a morgue to keep a body and needed her removed quickly. Just what I needed after I watched what seemed as pure incompetence let my wife's life slip away.

I had a funeral home pick her up, but the next day I realized that Jonda's funeral should be back in Lebanon, Missouri. Well now I have a $2800 bill from a funeral home I didn't even really need. If I wouldn't have been hurried by hospital people, I wouldn't have that bill.

Fact is: the person at that hospital lied to us. They do have a morgue and it could have waited a few more hours.

The hospital really made no attempt to help me, a distraught husband, that night. They allowed me to leave and drive home after watching my wife die.

She had went in with fluid around 1 lung but got a staph infection from the hospital. After seeing the way some things are done there, no wonder someone could get staph.

My questions have become more and more as I wonder why the hospital wanted my wife's body gone so quick.

Well, yesterday we buried Jonda's remains. I am now a member of the poorhouse and I don't know if I will ever come out of it or the depression of losing my life's partner. I wanted a decent burial and funeral for her.

We played 2 songs at my love's funeral. Both are below.

Honey, I know you read every hub I wrote and I know you will read this one too. I love you, I miss you; how will I go on without you? I hope I see you soon.

Song From Our Wedding

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    • Froggy213 profile image
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      Greg Boudonck 6 years ago from On A Mountain In Puerto Rico

      Fred, I love you brother--no matter how down I may be your comments are always very uplifting and I know they come from your heart. I will be so happy when I meet you to my friend.

      Thank you

    • fred allen profile image

      fred allen 6 years ago from Myrtle Beach SC

      You are an inspiration to me warrior of God! There are only a few that posess the measure of might that you clearly show. The enemy came to steal kill and destroy. Yet after all of his attacks, you stand firm. There is a spirit of power in you that shines for the world to see. When we meet in eternity, I will look for both you and your dear love Jonda. There will be great joy on our faces as we unite in giving thanks to the God who has given us to share in the inheritance of His dear Son. He is especially fond of her!

    • profile image

      revivor 6 years ago

      I can hardly believe this!! What a 5 years you have had - surely the Lord has put you through this for a reason? Keep looking for the glint of light that will see you through. Thinking of you, revivor

    • Minnetonka Twin profile image

      Linda Rogers 6 years ago from Minnesota

      I am so very sorry for your loss of your love. I am also so upset to hear what you went through with the hospital and staff. The last thing you need to deal with when your grieving is rude and insensitive staff. My prayers and thoughts are with you and your family. Know she is watching over you and hoping you will get through this. Talk to her as if she's still here, she will hear you.

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      Tracy F. 6 years ago

      She may be gone from this earth but never from the hearts of the many of us that had the pleasure of knowing Jonda, she had a way of seeing the best in people and God knows how that can make a person feel. I will always remember her laugh and smile because she done it so often when she talked to you about her kids, and husband and grandkids. I won't ever forget you Jonda, love you Lady!! Your Friend

    • cindyvine profile image

      Cindy Vine 6 years ago from Cape Town

      I'm so sorry for your loss, hugs!

    • FeniqueS profile image

      A F Stiger 6 years ago from Home

      My heart felt prayers are with you Greg. We Love you.

    • Gyspy Writer profile image

      Gyspy Writer 6 years ago from Midwest

      I am so sorry for the pain and grief you are experiencing. Losing a loved one is a crushing blow, and endless ache. I know the pain lessens with time, but that doesn't help you now at this moment. My heart goes out to you. I wish comfort for you and peace in your heart.

    • profile image

      Ingrid 6 years ago

      Dear Greg - I'm so very sorry for your loss - my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. May you feel God's comforting touch, blessings, Ingrid

    • b. Malin profile image

      b. Malin 6 years ago

      Oh, Froggy213, I am so sorry for your heartfelt loss. Thirty years of Love and Happiness is what your Jonda gave to you, and you gave to her. I am sure she will be missed by all those that Knew her, or read about her in your wonderful Hubs.

    • Kristeen profile image

      Christine 6 years ago from Michigan

      Froggy213, I am so sorry to hear about your wife's death. It is a shock both physically and emotionally when death comes unexpectedly. You are in my prayers.

      Death of a loved one leaves scars on our heart that never go away, but they do heal with time. It may take a long time, but God will be by your side. He never gives us more than we can bear and He never leaves us to face it alone.

    • Jeremey profile image

      Jeremey 6 years ago from Arizona

      My heart and prayers to you and your family. This brought a tear to my eye. It is couragous of you to share such a story. I wish you all the best. Look to the heavens my friend, as you said "You know she'll ead this one too", she may be gone now to a better place where she can look down upon you, guide you and protect you.She is now your ANGEL more than she ever was. Bless You Froggy! God rest her soul.

    • profile image

      ClareO 6 years ago

      So very sorry for your loss. God bless.

    • starme77 profile image

      starme77 6 years ago

      Though I know you feel empty, lonley, sad, and angry - you wife is not gone - her spirit is with you always - talk to her - you will feel her - she is there looking over you right now - I am sorry for your loss here on earth - stay strong for you and for your beautiful children - allow yourself the time to mourn - eat well and take care of you - with love and empathy Starme77

    • rachellrobinson profile image

      rachellrobinson 6 years ago from Southwest Missouri

      I am so sorry to hear about your loss, I'll keep you in my prayers.

    • Zsuzsy Bee profile image

      Zsuzsy Bee 6 years ago from Ontario/Canada

      My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Hope you will find peace soon Froggy. She had to go home because Johnathan really needed his Grandma.

      kindest regards Zsuzsy

    • bayoulady profile image

      bayoulady 6 years ago from Northern Louisiana,USA

      My heart goes out to you! There are no words I can write that will make the pain less, so I won't try. I can't imagine how it must have felt for you to drive home after this tradgedy.{{{Hugs and prayers}}}}~~~~Jackie

    • tonymac04 profile image

      Tony McGregor 6 years ago from South Africa

      So very sad. I will keep you in my thoughts today. Hope you find some comfort soon.

      Love and peace

      Tony

    • profile image

      Danette Woodard 6 years ago

      Greg - my heart is truly breaking for you. I cannot begin to imagine. I am praying for God to comfort you and to give you the strength you need to get through each day. The songs you played at her service were beautiful - I was wiping away the tears as I listened to Sissy's Song. If there is anything I can do, please let me know....even if you just need someone to talk to. (((big hug)))

    • G-Ma Johnson profile image

      Merle Ann Johnson 6 years ago from NW in the land of the Free

      I am so sad for you and her love will help carry you through your journey here on earth. No!!! seeing her soon, as your job here is not complete froggy...God needs you here so do what HE asks of you...no questions ...no doubts...just listen with the heart your wife had...She will help guide your every move...just listen...pray and hold her tenderly in your heart...no one can ever take that away...you waited so long...

      Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal

      "She walks with Jesus and says don't worry about me" "She flew up to Heaven with angels" Love this song and Love you ...my prayers as always...TRUST HIM FROGGY...:O) Hugs G-Ma

    • Lisa M Smith profile image

      Lisa Smith 6 years ago from Coupeville, WA

      My thoughts and prayers are with you. I'm sorry for your loss.

    • Happyboomernurse profile image

      Gail Sobotkin 6 years ago from South Carolina

      So sorry to hear of your beautiful wife's death and the difficult circumstances surrounding her passing.

      My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this difficult time.