ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Anger Again

Updated on June 27, 2013

Be positive

I wrote an article before on this very subject in the Philosophy area. There's still more to say. It's important to be honest about what you want from people. Most of us have a connection with the outside world through our families. The home is the place where we are accepted. This is a safe haven for discovering the true self. We also learn how to solve problems and work together. We should be able to reveal true feelings about things. When disagreements come about, we even learn how to forgive. Sometimes though, we can be more forgiving with strangers than we are with family. For example, the careless motorist who cuts us off in traffic. Now we aren't exactly gracious toward him, but we do let the offense go. For most of us this is true. For the rest of us, the offense builds into something more. More on that later.

It's okay to have anger. One can't know that there is anything wrong without it being expressed sometimes through anger. The wrong comes from holding grudges. It's best to talk out problems. Each viewpoint can be heard and resolved. However, the sun has gone down many a day with us not having resolved our issues with others. We may want to resolve things, but the other party involved may not. They aren't willing or it's already resolved in their mind but not in ours. It's imperative that we let some things go. There are behaviors of others that don't jive with ours. It is an exercise in futility to get them to change them. Should they change? Regardless whether they do or not, we are in charge of our own feelings and reactions. We can start being more accepting of others habits or 'ways'. It is not always important that people work well with us. Situations would be better but not necessary. If we find it difficult to work with others then prayer can be an effective tool in doing so. We can put our burdens before God.

You can pray this prayer: Father God, in the name of Jesus, I am having a difficult time with loving (person's name). I ask for your help to work out this situation between us. I want to live in peace with (him, her, them). Amen.

Now let go and move on. Resolve in your mind that you will enjoy a good relationship or work environment. Show us and do your part. When time comes to interact with this person or these persons again, you can actually work with them and get a job done. Love people and forgive them. This is part of acceptance. Cope with your own bad feelings and develop good ones. Be happy in spite of situations. If you haven't already, develop positive attitudes to be used through out life. Resolving problems quickly can guard against the anger that turns into rage as it festers with in one's soul.

Tragedies Will Still Happen

We don't live in a dream world. No matter what I say, there will still be tragedies. Everyone doesn't want good will. The news broadcasts report horrific crimes done by angry people. Survivors of these crimes will have to find emotional wholeness in the aftermath of these actions of the criminal. Forgiveness by the victim toward the assailant may come slowly, but it must come.

Fear, hurt and anger is experienced after a crime is committed against someone. Recovering victims may suffer from delayed stress, panic attacks or other coping disorders. Look for worsening of chronicle illnesses or disorders too. Symptoms that appear after an attack can take up to 6 months after the event to manifest in a victim's life. Even a person in the best of health is effected negatively. At least 2 symptoms occur after an attack.

  • Hyper vigilance - the victim is easily startled when someone enters a room. He notices the slightest noise or movement.
  • Insomnia - the inability to fall asleep and have a peaceful night's rest. Nightmares occur as the victim relives what has already taken place.

These happen as a way to protect oneself from future harm. The imprint of what happens in our lives is recorded in the mind and neurological system of our bodies. This could be a reason why its hard to forgive and forget. The effects of an attack are felt physically not just emotionally, therefore affecting our whole life.

There are programs designed to help us to deal or cope with whatever is hurting us in life. The best thing a person can do is forgive who ever hurts them. I know if someone is disrespected to the point of it being a crime this can be hard to make peace with. Therapy can be ideal in helping us cope in such situations.

Many people who have been attacked and have dealt with or are dealing with life after an attack have used these experiences to make positive changes in the life of themselves and others. The victims are more likely to interact with others in a kinder way. They will treat others the way they wish to be treated. This makes a victim an overcomer.

Do the Work

Confronting ones own feelings after an attack goes a long way in resolving the emotional turmoil evident after being violated. Emotions felt at this time are this; a showing of our feelings about what has happened in our life. If there is a happy occasion, we usually experience or show positive emotions. If there is a negative experience we react in that way. Natural responses to being violated are hurt and anger. Recognize these in yourself and own these feelings. Don't pretend that the experience never happened or the feelings aren't there. Pretending can occur most often with those people who are violated in a more private way. Rape or incest for instance as well as other forms of domestic violence. The more public a violation the less chance of hiding from the truth. The Boston Marathon attack that took place Monday, April 16, 2013, is an example of a more public violation. The survivors, nor the nation can pretend that this event didn't happen. The more public a violation the less able you are to hide. The more private it is, the easier it is to hide.

Taking the time to realize that you have received pain from another 's actions can be hard to do when the hurt is so real. You got the pain part down pat. You entered into the private relationship looking for the best. You were in it for a good purpose. You were not looking forward to being used or abused. In the best relationships there are problems. These problems, however, are to be worked out. Those who cause intentional harm are not to be tolerated. Now comes the time to let go. In order to do this, ask yourself this. "Do I want more pain from this situation for the rest of my life?" The answer should be 'No'. Now it is inevitable that more pain will come in life, but experiencing the same kind of pain from that one experience or repeated experiences of the same type is not good. You have to do the work necessary to live a more productive life. Reliving the past will make life harder than it is and very meaningless. Forgiveness is the key. Strive for forgiveness and heal. You owe this to yourself.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)