Angular Angst
Angular Chelitis Solution
Note: The Angular Chelitis Solution is provided absolutely free in this article.
Occasionally, I work too hard, burying my soul with ambition. Sometimes my body breaks. I struggle to survive. I wonder where I’ll get the money for "everything." My nerves get frayed, and I crack.
In my most recent case of idiocy, I was working to a self-imposed deadline on a second novel, so I could ship it off to a waiting New York agent. (As it turned out, the agent had to wait too long, became buried in manuscripts, and regrettably, didn’t have time to read mine.) In addition to my furious novel writing, I was also teaching English composition to technical students. And I was staring at decimated life savings, contesting college costs for my son, helping my high school daughter with homework, trying to work out complications with the publisher of my first novel (a "complicated" problem), and so on ad absurdum. (Maybe, given all the references to self, you may think me self-centered, but have you looked in the mirror lately?)
I think I’m still married. That woman who occasionally asks me to do something, I believe, is still my wife, an elementary school teacher buried in her own dilemmas. She doesn’t have time for my fears, pressures, and complications. So when I cracked and panicked, she was the last person I could turn to. We’ve become each other’s lowest priority. So where did I turn? The Internet, of course.
When my molar’s gold cap popped off for the third time, I asked my dentist, calmly – What the hell is going on? She explained that the root-canaled tooth was so mushy and damaged that the cap had no surface area for tooth glue adhesion. Okay, I said, wondering why she hadn’t told me this before. She said that if the cap popped off again, the tooth would have to be "extracted." No problem. I’d recently had extractions and actually liked the guy who yanked my irksome teeth.
But I was willing to give my gold tooth one more chance. Maybe it would adhere this time. Except, over the next several weeks, my cap caught all morsels. I became a twice-a-day advocate of dental floss. I opened wide. I shoved my fist into my mouth. I worked hard to dislodge chunks of pork, salad, bread, and strange things I couldn’t identify. On the plus side, a forensic pathologist would have no trouble identifying what, and possibly where, I had eaten. Maybe I needed to change my diet. At any rate, extreme flossing had been added to my already overloaded work schedule. Eventually, the corner of my mouth, on the gold-capped, vigorously flossed side, cracked. And, in hindsight, I believe so did I.
I tried ignoring my cracked corner mouth. I really did. Honest. Then I even asked my overworked wife about it. I tried her lip balm and antibiotic salve suggestions, and I kept working, until one morning I looked in the mirror and thought, Yikes! What is that? A hideously big red crack and expanding circle. This had never happened to me before, and God forbid, people could see it! Not like the minor aches and pains that are hidden. This was right out there for everyone to see, their thoughts obvious in their eyes, accusing me of being unhealthy, maybe immoral. (Worse than those days before a date with a fantastically cute girl, and the inevitable mountainous zit.)
Enter the Internet.
Search cracked corner mouth.
Results > ANGULAR CHELITIS FOUNDATION.
Almost all the results shouted the same thing. I clicked frantically, but each click invariably led me back to an answer from a central web (where bugs like me are eaten). Did I have time to further research this? Hell no! I had deadlines! The ANGULAR CHELITIS FOUNDATION warned -- "Angular Chelitis is embarrassing! Complete strangers stare. Difficult to hide or disguise. Attacks can last months. Some think they are free only to have a new attack. The hopelessness is most difficult. You can’t be affectionate. You don’t feel like kissing."
But thank God, the Angular Chelitis Foundation offered a solution – the Angular Chelitis Solution. The Foundation states that the Angular Chelitis Solution will "resolve your current outbreak swiftly and painlessly. It is guaranteed to work for everyone." And the founder of the foundation says "it is all natural, using a couple of dollars worth of ingredients, you most likely have at home. Within hours I had my lesions under control and by the next day, they were almost completely gone." Further, it states you can "get rid of" your Angular Chelitis in "as little as three hours." You, me, and the rest of humankind, could get the "simple solution to the debilitating symptoms of Angular Chelitis" in a "set of detailed instructions." And "this solution ALWAYS works! Or your money back."
Or your money back? Maybe this should have been an obvious warning of a different sort. A veritable red flag, in fact. But after reading the Foundation’s Angular Chelitis warnings, I became more horrified than ever. Fear. Isn’t that also a sales technique? Why was this "foundation" scaring the hell out of me? But what price peace of mind? Would I ever kiss again? Would I ever be able to kiss butt? (A much needed social skill.) My entire livelihood was threatened. I was embarrassed by my corner mouth crack, my personal Angular Chelitis. So, of course, under those circumstances, I paid my sixty-seven dollars, and I received my "cure" immediately – a PDF file. (Which I will provide for you at the end of this article. However, I also implore you to click on a link, any link, and buy something, anything that will make me some money. Hmm, what am I a part of here? Okay. Buy it if you need or want it, but be careful.)
I also made an appointment to have my troublemaking tooth extracted. After all, it was the culprit. It caused my problem. So out with it! No more vigorous fist-in-mouth flossing for me!
The "cure" did help. Yes, it did. And yes, you can used common household items. However, it took at least a week, not a few hours, and after a month, my anxiety enhancing "problem" is smaller, but not completely gone. (I will see a doctor, I think, but who can trust doctors anymore -- they might take me and my heath insurance for a lot more than sixty-seven dollars.)
Why did I pay? With a few more clicks, I could have gotten the "cure" for seventeen dollars less. Apparently the cost varies depending on website. However, with a little (very little) further research I could have found essentially the same information for FREE. On, of all places, Wikipedia. Likely, it can be found on other sites as well.
I am willing to believe that the Angular Chelitis Foundation merely wants to help; however, the demand for money makes me think I was scammed. Why does the Foundation and Solution always appear at the top of searches? You know the answer of course. They claim the money is for "marketing costs." And it states that "if you wish to assist and earn a good income, this is possible. Some of our promoters are making $500 to $700 and more per week simply promoting the Foundation." Like you, I want to make money. But do I really want to make money by withholding information that could ease suffering, and then "sell" that information?
For many reasons. For money perhaps, for attention maybe, for you – here is the Angular Chelitis Solution. Free. Exactly as I received it as a sixty-seven dollar PDF file.
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You will require two things that you can find as typical household items in your home.
Dishwashing liquid. Preferably lemon but it doesn’t make a big difference.
Also you will need white petroleum jelly. If you don’t find this in your home, you can pick up a 50 gram tub for a dollar or 2 at any local petrol station or drug store. It is a thick, greasy whitish substance that many people have in their homes.
You will also need tissues and a clean sanitized bench area. Use a bacterial cleaner to completely sanitize the area you will perform this treatment on.
Note: Dish washing liquid is very soapy. You don’t want to use cheap brand dish washing liquid. You want dish washing liquid that is highly concentrated and gives a high level of soapy-ness with even just a small dab of the liquid. Ordinary soap does not have this property. It must be high concentrated dish washing liquid.
Step one
First brush your teeth thoroughly taking at least several minutes. If you wear false teeth, use a strong mouth wash.
Step two
Wash your hands thoroughly and disinfect them.
Step three
Get a large bowl of lukewarm water. Not hot so it is uncomfortable, but warm enough so the dishwashing liquid reacts more effectively. Cold water does not dissolve the soap quickly enough.
Step four
Wet the lips and (sic) legions with the warm water and gently moisten your mouth and chin with your clean fingers. Spend 30 seconds doing this. You want to completely soften any dry cracked skin and also wash off the large amounts of excess bacteria on your lips and in your mouth. Do this thoroughly so the skin is absorbing the clean water.
Step five
Now dab a penny sized amount of dishwashing liquid onto your clean fingers. Begin to thoroughly wash and lather the corners of the mouth. Spend a minute simply pushing around the dishwashing liquid into the (sic) legions in the corners of your mouth and across the lips. Let it lather up well but do it gently.
Don’t let the dish washing liquid get into your mouth. It may contain toxins so don’t swallow it or let the dishwashing liquid touch your tongue. Keep your lips tight so they seal. If you do get some in your mouth, immediately rinse the soap off your tongue. Don’t swallow. Start again.
Step six
Get a new fresh bowl of luke warm water and discard the first one. I would advise disinfecting the bowl before getting more water. Really clean it properly and wash your hands again.
Use the new bowl of water to rinse off the dish washing liquid from your lips. While you were disinfecting the bowl it is fine to just leave the lather soapy dishwashing liquid on your lips. Just keep your lips tight while cleaning the bowl so no dish washing liquid enters your mouth.
Step seven
Once the mouth is completely free of soap, use the tissues to dry it. Be generous with the tissues. One wipe and discard. Get another tissue. Dab your mouth and especially the areas of infection until the lips are completely dry.
You should feel a squeakiness to your lips. This is good and what we are looking for. The skin should be so clean that here is absolutely no film of natural body grease on your skin surface. The way that translates is the skin feels almost sticky because it is absent of all bodily oils on your lips.
Step eight
Apply the white petroleum jelly generously to your entire mouth and chin. Gob it on as much as you want. It may feel uncomfortable and look terrible, but wear this jelly for several hours. Try not to eat the jelly, but it is harmless.
Step nine
Right away you will feel the soothing effect of the petroleum jelly working. In 2 hours remove the jelly with tissues and wash again with dishwashing liquid following the steps above. At this point after about 10 minutes, your lips will (sic) stabalise. We are looking for signs of the (sic) legions drying out and rawness reducing. If they have not, simply apply more petroleum jelly. If they have, you should be cleared up my morning.
The petroleum jelly doesn’t hurt. If in doubt just wear it. It has an immediate soothing effect for any pain or rawness, but more importantly it will suspend your (sic) legions in an environment where the fungal bacteria cannot live. The bacteria loves dampness. Petroleum jelly actually repels dampness and moisture.
If you don’t wear the jelly, you may lick your lips inadvertently creating the very same environment as before and the bacteria may regroup.
So the advice is wear the jelly as often as you can until the bacteria have been subdued. Most of the time, just one treatment works. You will be amazed how quickly the sores dry up and reduce to nothing. If they don’t you must perform this treatment daily or if possible 4 times a day for stubborn cases. Allow up to 10 weeks of treatment for extreme cases.
Author's Update : So far, after researching treatment with a general practice physician, and a dermotologist, in my opinion, this still seems to be the safest and most effective approach. However, you should consult your doctor(s) for other opinions, just in case, and especially if you aren't "cured."
Have you ever been misdiagnosed?
