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Apocalypse of Zombies

Updated on October 26, 2015

On your marks to prepare

This review is dedicated to doomsday preppers, zombie aficionados and people who want to know how to survive.

While I was playing Left 4 Dead 2 for the past month and after having read an article yesterday about the best places in Cebu City to hide in during a zombie apocalypse, I finally formed an opinion on the question of Cebu City being able to survive, or at least it's residents therein, a zombie apocalypse? Well, let's find out, shall we?

I told you so...

Run, shoot or both?
Run, shoot or both?

Basic weapons and ancient technology

I should explain at the outset that I very much like the idea of such an event. And if such an even occurs, you must be armed. Speaking of which, ancient weapons. In the olden days, when man was facing off with each other in a space of 12 inches or less trying to stab each other to death, the chap with the fastest and strongest hands won the battle and had the most wives. It's the same with basic tools like a hammer. It's true that ancient weapons, such as the sword, spear and bow and arrow are effective because, well, they simply are.

Now, you're wondering what tools are best to be used? Technology has limited our primal nature to use our bare hands and thus, I shall attempt to fill in the gap that electronic technology has taken away from us. Personally, I'd take a Japanese Samurai sword, Katana because it's perfect for slashing and cutting. It's relatively light weight and thus can be carried in one hand if necessary. But generally speaking, ANYTHING can be used as a weapon. The human body is as as strong as it is weak and thus, you can use anything at your disposal.

And that includes sticks, swords, PVC pipes, cooking pans and utensils, scissors, knives, screwdrivers, wrenches, belts, chairs, CD's, bottles or soda cans, broken glass, rulers, nail files, picture frames, umbrellas, empty water jugs, guitars, drum sticks, violins or their sticks, cups/mugs, porcelain vases and tiles, books, phones, shoes, perfume canisters, computer monitors, eating plates, old/new rubber car tires, baseball bats, golf clubs, gym weights, etc. Just simply look at your surroundings, identify items that you can weaponize, throw at or hit someone with and you're now armed.

But of course, you can't just throw everything or anything. Some items are worth keeping, you know. Cooking pans and screwdrivers are classic tools as well as weapons. Not only that, but you must also keep an eye out for your immediate surroundings. What if, a zombie had the ability to sneak up behind you?

In essence, those whose weapons are sharper and throwable and whose hands and feet are faster can win against zombies.

Katana

A zombie's best friend
A zombie's best friend

Martial Arts

There are a great many esteemed fighting skills in the world. I shall name a few which I have encountered, fought or have practiced in my lifetime.

Karate (Practiced): Once upon a time, I was a little boy growing up and was invited by my neighbors to this. It was my very first martial art. Although, I only learned a few things, I neither dismiss or recommend it.

Tae Kwon Do (Practiced): I was introduced to this but only lasted one week. It's focus is kicking and is useful for outdoors but near useless indoors. No offense, though. Fighters of this art are still to be respected. They can literally throw you off your feet if you're not attentive or fast enough to evade. I neither dismiss or recommend it.

Yaw-Yan Lawin (Practiced): After the said week, I ended up here. This martial art is similar to Muay Thai but contains slightly more of defense. Highly recommended.

Aikido (Encountered, Fought): On two occasions, I had the opportunity to battle warriors of this art. Both were women. Due to it's peaceful nature, Aikido is the only martial art that has more women than men. However, don't underestimate them. Aikido warriors have stiff yet flexible bodies. Stiff, to prevent you from dominating them and flexible to subdue you. I respect any warrior of this art. Highly recommended.

Kuntao (Encountered): A close - and very beautiful - friend of mine from college introduced me to this. It is similar to Silat and is not to be underestimated. I haven't had the opportunity to battle her but I'm glad I didn't. She's like a sister to me and I consider her too dear to battle. Highly recommended.

Kung Fu (Encountered, Practiced): In high school, I was introduced to this but never really caught on to it. Sure, they're fast, but don't deliver overwhelming power. Still, it is to be respected as is their practitioners. Recommended.

Eskrima/Arnis (Encountered, Practiced): During my stint at Yaw-Yan, several fighters were stick fighters. I never liked this at all because I felt that you needed a stick to fight. Although, in a zombie apocalypse, this is a superb art. Highly recommended.

Jiujitsu (Encountered): Also during my stint at Yaw-Yan, I saw this in action. I can see the point of grappling to win a trophy or a title belt and possibly a trip to a 5 star hotel with a nice hot woman but trying to grapple a disease-infested zombie is ill-advised. Not recommended.

Kenjutsu (Practiced): Being a martial art exclusive to the exclusive warrior class, the Samurai, I feel that this is the best for using weapons. The samurai devoted their lives to learning the sword and the sword is a weapon and thus is the best. Similar forms are Battojutsu and Iaijutsu. Highly recommended.

Ninjutsu (Current): Kage Bunshin no jutsu!

Battojustu

The question

Which would you choose in a zombie apocalypse?

See results

Uniforms

Now, we go to what is best to wear during an apocalypse

Naturally, being a military fanatic, what comes to mind is camouflage uniforms. There's quite a number of patterns out there. There's disruptive, digital and natural.

Disruptive is, well, standard uniform patterns like M81 Woodland, M95 Woodland, MultiCam, Tigerstripe or Scorpion W2.

Digital is , well, digital patterns like the Universal Camouflage Pattern, MARPAT, CADPAT or Flecktarn.

Natural is, well, natural. Taking on foliage from the bosom of Mother Nature herself, Natural is arguably the best. This is most prominently used by snipers wearing ghillie suits in jungle or forest battles.

And, we come to a typical fashion thing worn by majority of young women today: Short-shorts (hot pants) or Spaghetti top. I mean absolutely no offense to the ladies. I understand that it's easier to move around and cooler and easier to clean or wash, but during a zombie apocalypse, you don't exactly want zombies staring or salivating at your legs or your torso. You want to blend in with your surroundings. You want to be there but unseen. To see but remain invisible.

I understand that the apocalypse hasn't happened. But should it happen, ransack the nearest airsoft or military shop ASAP.

Modern fashion

Sexy and she knows it
Sexy and she knows it

Part of Me

Epitome of perfection
Epitome of perfection

Survival

Have you seen the History tv show Alone? If so, you've got a step up. Have you also seen the tv show Doomsday Preppers? If so, you're better than I expected! If not, uhm, I guess I have to teach you some.

Before anything else, it's best you fortify your home. For crying out loud, don't use wood. It'll just catch fire and won't stop projectiles. I recommend putting up a wall about at least 3-5 meters tall, 1 meter thick, steel reinforced. And the same goes for your house. However, most people can't afford that. Instead, its best to just utilize your home and keep it secure. Adding some cheap inch-thick steel lining inside your walls will surely prevent penetration from standard .223 Remington or 7.62x39mm.

You must also stockpile on batteries, basic human hygiene items like soap and sanitizers, toothpaste and brushes. Don't forget flashlights and use LED flashlights rather than fluorescent-bulb flashlights. LED's are brighter and use much less power than florescent flashlights.

Next, stockpile on canned goods like tuna, pork and beans, or spam. Foods with long shelf-life is also highly recommended. Examples are Jerky, Salt, Sugar, Raw Honey, Alcohol, Pasta, White Rice (10 years), Coconut oil (2 years), Peanut Butter, Coffee, Tea, Hard Candies, Powdered Milk, Apple Cider Vinegar, Baking Soda, Honey, Dried Herbs or Spices and Ramen Noodles. Those are the foods, cleaning and healing supplies.

Non foods are Bic Lighters, Toilet Paper, Soaps, Bottled Water, Vitamins, Medicines, Bandages, Peroxide, Lighter fluid, Canning Supplies, Charcoal.

Of course, if you're a woman, Sanitary Napkins are a must. See to it that you stockpile as much of the favorite brand and type of napkin you prefer. If Sanitary Napkins aren't found or are out of supply, you'll have to improvise. I did some research on your behalf, ladies, and there are reusable napkins. Just remember to wash them vigorously to kill any bacteria.

Note: Honey can be used as a food but also to heal superficial wounds. Apple Cider Vinegar and Baking Soda can be used to clean and cook as well as containing antibiotic properties.

It is also advisable to stockpile fuel. However, it's finite so use it sparingly. Diesel is recommended because it provides higher power to weight ratio and lasts longer than gasoline engines of the same displacement. Example: 2.0L v-6 diesel or gas engine with the same fuel tank and gas will run out faster while diesel isn't even half empty. That's why ships use diesel.

However, gasoline and diesel will run out eventually, so consider using solar panels or invent your own unlimited power generator to run your everyday electronics.

Did you know? You can use sugar as rocket fuel and cardboard toilet rolls for improvised rockets. Simply segregate which part of the rocket is explosive and fuel, combine the rolls with duct tape, add an engine with sugar fuel, add stabilizer fins, add a fuse and ta-da!

You can also use pedicure/manicure liquid to waterproof matches. Simply dip the match's phosphorous tip in the liquid, wait until it dries and ta-da!

DO NOT FORGET WATER. If possible, use as much space as you can for water. You can live for 40-60 days with out food but only 3-4 days without water. The average person needs a minimum - MINIMUM - amount of 2 liters of water per day.

The Kit

Typical supplies in a Bug Out Bag
Typical supplies in a Bug Out Bag

Guns and Ammo

Your home is your first line of defense. Your second is your personal firearms.

I recommend small, concealable, and lightweight weapons like the Glock 18, Beretta M92, Kel-Tec P-32, Kel-Tec P-3AT, Ruger LCP, Kahr P-380, FN Five-seveN, H&K USP and S&W Bodyguard. You may also try H&K MP7 or Magpul FMG-9.

You may also like H&K 416, FN SCAR-L or SCAR-H or the Magpul Masada/Bushmaster ACR. Or the M14 and AK-47 rifles. but the AK's 7.62x39mm bullet can't reach out to far distances so it's preferable you rechamber your AK for 6.8mm Remington SPC ammo instead.

You may also like to keep machine guns in storage, like the MG42 or Browning M2 and FN SAW or M60.

Stockpile on ammunition! Thieves might take things away from you or take yourself away because you're defenseless! Recommended ammo is: 9x19mm, 10x25mm Auto, .45 APC, .223 Remington, 7.62x51 NATO, and 12 gauge shotgun shells.

However, since zombies can't really feel the effects of a solid bullet cause they're already dead, it's highly recommended that you use buck shot ammo. That's found only in shotguns. Examples are Mossberg 500, Remington 870, Franchi SPAS 12 or 15, Benelli M4 Super 90 and lastly, the AA-12 shotgun.

Also, it's recommended that you buy equipment that allows you to make your own ammo.

Further, since operating a firearm means that you need to be awake, you could opt to make your own sentry guns. Think of them as autonomous, remotely controlled machine guns.

Note: If all else fails, you could use a plastic PVC pipe, cut to ends on each side of the tips, add some thick guitar string, and ta-da! You now have a bow from PVC pipe and guitar strings! All you need is arrows. What you need is a shaft, a dowel, duct tape (for fins) and ta-da!

Sentry Gun

A typical model found in computer games
A typical model found in computer games

Aliens (1986) UA 571-C Sentry Guns

Escape!

This is your 3rd line of defense. Your escape vehicle.

There's quite a number of vehicles out there that can be your ultimate escape vehicle.

Examples are: Hummer H1, H2, H3, M35 2 and a half ton truck, Marauder armored vehicle, Cougar MRAP, Stryker, EVF, Bradley AFV etc. But your best bet would be to go for a Hummer, M35, Cougar, or Stryker.

Or simply add armor to your vehicle. It'll definitely cut costs and still protect you.

Cougar MRAP

Arguably the best escape vehicle on wheels, not tracks
Arguably the best escape vehicle on wheels, not tracks

Ready or not?

I'd like to take the time to say this capsule is an update.

Can you survive for a few days? It's possible. If you lack water, you could always use the water from your toilet tank. It holds around 4-5 gallons of water and we, as humans, need half a gallon a day, I could consider it, but not recommend it. You could also search for the water heater/cooler tanks outside your home. It could hold around 50 gallons and that's enough to last a family of four for a few months or a full year, if you ration the water. No watering the plants or cleaning the car in that desperate situation.

IF that isn't enough or you don't have a water tank, you can use some from the trees. Place a plastic bag around the leaves and hope it rains. Remember to heat it to boiling to kill the bacteria and cool it down so you can drink it.

Now, heat. How do you light a fire with no matches? You use it every day to go into social media. Your smartphone battery has terminals where, if you scrape them along some steel wool, you get instant fire. Oh, and here's a tip. If you'd like to charge your phone, you simply need a car charger, a 9 volt battery and a coin. Connect the tip of the car charger to the POSITIVE terminal, put the coin in the NEGATIVE terminal and connect both the charger and coin by hand. You have a means of charging.

Now, lighting a bonfire. This'll be fun. You'll need two cans, alcohol (or any combustible liquid) and toilet paper. One is small enough to fit a roll of toilet paper and the other, big enough to fit the smaller one. First, remove the cardboard spine of the toilet roll. Insert it into the smaller can, fill it up with your alcohol, then insert the smaller can into the big one, light 'er up and ta-da! It'll burn for around 5 or so hours.

Home made body armor. You'll need a lot of duct or scotch tape for this, some books (preferably hardbound), two shoulder mounts or pads, and some ceramic tiles or some steel panels. First, put your books, ceramic plates and steel panels together, cover them all up with duct or scotch tape (make sure the shoulder pads are inserted in-between these ingredients) and you should be able to withstand knives or even an arrow. But I wouldn't go against a firearm with it.

Survivor or casualty?

So, can Cebu city or the Philippines itself be prepared for an apocalypse? Judging by what I've seen over the 25 years of existence in this country, I think only a handful are. Most people (as of October 26, 2015) are into the current AlDub bullshit. Pardon my language. Some are trying to buy a new house or car or trying to get into stardom. Others are trying to get the latest electronic kit while others just want a retirement fund.

Now, to the big questions:

Is the Philippines ready? No.

Is Cebu ready? No.

Either way, whether zombies or not, financial crisis or not, I believe we need to prepare. I have given you all I know. I'm looking to update my inventory every chance I get and welcome any new ideas of preparation. I think you should too.

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