What You SEE May Not Tell the Whole Story: Appearanes Can Be so Deceiving
"You can't judge a book by its cover. "
How many times have you heard that?
And no matter how time worn and cliché-likie it is, there is so much wisdom locked within those eight powerful words.
Looking at someone's physical appearance often tells little about that person.
Many years ago I attended a woman's forum and a multitude of topics was discussed. One of the main ones was being proactive with our own personal health.
Gradually the discussion came around to cancer. The speaker said: 'Look in front of you, beside you, behind you. One in four of the individuals in any direction will one day battle cancer. Some who are here today already are."
Looking at those around me I saw no one who looked 'sick.' No one. And I found it a bit baffling that what our speaker was saying was true. How could that be?? I freely admit that I did not get it.
About 15 years ago I began to understand. When first my grandson was stricken with cancer. And a few short years later, his mother, my daughter began to feel unwell and after numerous doctor visits, she too was diagnosed with cancer.
Yes, Indeed. Angels ARE Around Us....
Looking at others in person or in photographs of others too can be deceiving. You may look at the person and think how healthy they look because they are thin and trim and seemingly in tiptop shape.
Again that too is misleading. Often someone who is thin is not healthy. It is from the devastation of some disease or medications or other drugs---illegal or legal (that should not be consumed at all).
Do not be deceived. Outward appearances do not tell the whole story.
Why Not This Instead of Judging?
Who Would Ever Guess that Someone in the Photo is Unwell?
Trim and Thin, Cancer Trying to Claim Her...
Just as those who are very thin are often heralded for their trim figures, many who are overweight are the object of much derision and criticism.
"What a fat slob. How could anyone get so fat? She must have no pride. And certainly no care about being healthy."
Again that can be deceiving.
There are medical conditions that cause weight gain and those who suffer from them find it next to impossible to lose weight. So once again it is on us to refrain from making judgments about someone by looking at their outer appearance.
There are those who are overweight due to poor eating habits and that is another story. But again for me to pass judgment on them is wrong.
And I refuse to judge someone on outer appearance.
My Momma always taught me to look inside of a person to find the loveliness and beauty that dwelt there. She added that, judging others serves no good purpose---and often leads to wrong conclusions and may cause us to miss out on meeting some truly wonderful people.
Parking in Handicapped Spaces
Have you ever seen someone get out of a car who parked in a handicapped spot that did not LOOK sick?
There have been instances in my own personal experience where those walking by have made snide remarks about those in our vehicle as we disembarked.
"He doesn't look handicapped to me? What are you doing parking there? How did YOU get a handicap sticker?"
Yes, those words and worse have been hurled. Worse yet, because we are thick-skinned in our family and circle of friends, was to hear the same derisive remarks thrown at others as they made their way to the store they were visiting.
Often, just as with many illnesses, the person's handicap is not visible.
Our eyes deceive us yet another time.
Bring It On....
No One Knows Their Secret...
Things are not always as they seem; the first appearance deceives many.— Phadeus
Making Snap Judgments
Walking up to you is a shabbily dressed, unkempt individual. Dirty and perhaps a bit fragrant and not in a pleasing way.
What do you think?
Eeeew, no thanks, do not come by me.
Uhoh here comes someone, begging.
Not someone I wish to hang with.
Does our mind stop to process what we see or do we make a snap judgment in those situations?
Consider the following scenario...
Four ladies go to work at their church in the flowerbeds and around the property. They work for several hours ...it is hot and dirty work. When work is finished, the ladies decide to have breakfast at a nearby cafe.
Their appearance is unkempt--clothes are soiled, hair flying hither, thither, and yon maybe holding on tightly to a brittle leaf, and shoes a dull shade of brown from the dirt they moved across.
For those who may be seeing them for the first time a far different conclusion may be drawn about these same ladies than is actually true of them.
Would the saying....
You can't judge a book by its cover work here?
Pay It Forward.....No Judging Here
Can You Make Judgments About Others by their Shoes??
Interestingly enough studies have been done to determine if a person can be judged by the shoes they choose to wear.
One such study can be found on Medicaldaily.com , In this article which is found online by Research in Personality results are given.
There were 63 individuals who agreed to study the shoes and give impressions.
Some of the characteristics that were to be observed were: age, gender, social status, liberal or conservative, extrovert or introvert, emotional stability, openness.
They were 208 pairs of shoes used in this sample.
The results state that about 90% of such characteristics can be determined by observing shoes chosen. Those observers were quite accurate in guessing the characteristics that are cited above.
Among the conclusions of this study is that a person's shoes do reflect a bit of a person. And it seems that people do observe the shoes of others.
For whatever these results are worth, they can be deemed interesting.
One statement made in the report that I found revealing is that people generally do not choose shoes to display something that is untrue about themselves; shoes are generally not chosen to deceive others.
Here perhaps is one small sampling of how judging can be acceptable and perhaps non-judgmental.
Just so you know, however, I will not be judging you by your shoes when I meet you. And if you meet me and I am wearing my customary flipflops (you know they come in a wide range of styles these days), that you will not think I am 99% Redneck and 97% hippie. Truth be known, I am a bit of each.
Whether we realize it or not, we do make judgments about others. I know I have in the past.
But a still, small voice within me, would say and still does,
'cancel cancel; you do not know that person; you do not know what is happening in their lives. So just stop it.'
And as a result, I have learned to leave that ugliness behind. As a result, I have gotten to know some perfectly lovely people that I had initially thought I had nothing in common with them.
My Momma taught me well....judging others leads us nowhere.