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How to Stop Anger Problems With Anger Management Techniques

Updated on April 29, 2016
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Anger Management: Inside Out

When Should You Swear?

There are a few occasions where swearing is perfectly acceptable, but that doesn't mean you should go all Joe Pesci on people.

  • People that cut you off in traffic
  • When someone curses you out for no reason
  • When you stub your toe
  • When your boss fires you
  • Your kids drive you insane
  • You had a horrible day and people drive you insane

Okay so maybe some of those are too much, but I can understand why you might get ticked off at any of them. I'm not the swearing type but at times someone or something makes me go off, and I'm sure the same applies to most people.

As long as things don't get violent, then a few F-Bombs are okay every now and then.

Source

When You Shouldn't Swear

These are the moments where it might be best to hold your tongue.

Not only does it make you look like a piece of you know what, it can also get you into hot water. If you don't get beat up, then at minimum you'll get dirty looks and at maximum get thrown in jail.

Here are the moments you should control your nasty tone:

  • When a cop pulls you over
  • At a wedding ceremony or a funeral
  • In front of small children either yours or other folk
  • At the DMV (it's already a living nightmare, don't make it worse)
  • During a trial or in front of a judge
  • When you're challenged by someone much bigger or stronger than you
  • If you're getting robbed
  • If you go to a church, temple, or other spiritual/religious place

There are many I missed, so feel free to let me know your thoughts, but the bottom line is that cursing during those times is liable to make things much worse for you, so I would refrain from excess swearing.

Al Pacino as Tony Montana from the 1983 movie Scarface
Al Pacino as Tony Montana from the 1983 movie Scarface | Source

Do You Have a Profanity Filter?

Do you find yourself saying the "S" word or spewing F-Bombs in almost every sentence? Do people look at you funny or appear to be scared to death by being around you?

If you said yes to either then you might have a swearing problem.

Below are a few more red flags to look out for:

  • Swear in front of anyone (priest, your mother-in-law, or your four year old)
  • Have been told constantly to stop cursing
  • People give you dirty looks or think you're a mobster
  • Your spouse or significant other leaves you while trembling in fear
  • Your cursing costs you a few nights in prison

The last one is a given. If the final point applies to you, then chances are you violated one of the don'ts and cursed out a cop. Now expect to receive a much harsher penalty and spend a night or two in the jailhouse.

Also if your problem causes your loved ones to either live in fear or leave you, then you really need to speak to someone and get help otherwise you might become the next Chris Brown.

Chris Brown Charged With Assault on Rihanna

We all know that cursing can be a great way to release aggression, but you're not in a Jay and Silent Bob flick or Scarface so relax.

Not everything deserves excess, so please pay attention or it'll cost you.

Daughter's Case of Tourette Syndrome

Anger Therapy and Rehab

If you believe you have a cursing problem, then it's time to treat it. As long as you're psychologically stable, then taking control shouldn't be challenging.

On the other hand those suffering from Tourette's syndrome or other mental disorders can be excused though they still need to treat the underlying problem, if possible, before it becomes damaging.

For the rest of us, I would try replacing curse words with something less offensive. You can release frustration in a less terrifying way.

Below are a few choice suggestions for our favorite cuss words:

  • Instead of the F-Bomb, say "fricken" or "friggin", if not say "eff" instead of you know what
  • Instead of saying the "S" word otherwise known as poo (ha ha), I'd consider saying crap
  • For a variation of the "S" word like BS, I'd stick with either that or "Bull".

I know there are so many other words and variations of them, but the same rules apply. Some words have less of a sting than others so it's okay to use them, but don't exceed a healthy limit.

The other way to treat your problem is through meditation, relaxation, anger management, and by other therapeutic means. Excess cursing is normally tied to anger, so you have to target the source,

If you become less angry and more positive, then chances are your swearing levels will gradually decrease as well.

The last way is to restrain yourself through self-monitoring and control.

6 Reasons to Think Before Speaking

Think about the situation, the people around, and how people might react to you. With practice, it's not that difficult to decrease the amount of swearing but you have to make it happen.

Source

Preventing the Rage Quit Game

If you're not the one with the problem, then chances are you know someone who goes overboard with the profanity ABC's and gender/age matter.

People who normally swear are younger, probably male, and are somewhere in their teens or early 20's because they think it makes them stand out, however; It's regarded as a sign of immaturity that tends to fade the older they become.

On the other hand If you have an adult friend or relative who swears too much, then you should tell them because of more significant consequences.

It's important to tell them because it might damage their chance of success. Bosses and supervisors don't want to hire someone who swears like a sailor without the fortitude to stop themselves.

They may not even realize how much of a problem it is, so be a good friend and let them know.

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The Human Act of Aggression

It's okay to let out a profanity or two even at inappropriate occasions because we're all human after all, and we're bound to make mistakes.

If you're a parent, then you might get upset when your child curses but don't lock them up in their room. Instead let them know why the things they said were inappropriate, ask where they learned it, and tell them that profanity is not okay.

As long as they know it's wrong and understand the repercussions, then everything should be fine.

Pretty much the only living things that won't curse are plants and animals (most of them), so do expect to hear some foul language from even the unlikeliest person.

Remember that swearing is a coping mechanism.

We use it to make us feel better about a bad situation, and we use swear words to let others know how frustrated or angry we feel without physical violence.

However, remember that words have power, which is why people need to check themselves and their children before things go haywire.

Don't Be a Bully!

One of the most common problems in schools is bullying, and the majority of bullying is through language.

If parents don't address those concerns, then their children will swear and bully others thinking they've done nothing wrong. Bullying is deadly and unacceptable, and cursing plays a huge role in this.

Be aware that what you say affects others, and the things children hear from adults affects other children. There are ways to express our anger in a healthy manner, but swearing doesn't have to be the first option.

There's nothing wrong with a few word bombs, but don't overdo it.

Use relaxation techniques and other tools to relieve stress/anger and pass them down to others who struggle with rage and inappropriate language.

Finally teach your kids why swearing is wrong, but don't be hypocritical.

Your children will curse and that's okay. Just make sure to keep them and yourselves in order to avoid bigger issues that may affect your life, your children's lives, and most of all other people's lives.

The last thing you want to be responsible for is someone else's life when bullying and profanity go too far.

How Often Do You Use Profanity?

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    • Chriswillman90 profile image
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      Krzysztof Willman 2 years ago from Parlin, New Jersey

      It is a nice letter, why make it foul.

    • peachpurple profile image

      peachy 2 years ago from Home Sweet Home

      no really, everyone shouldn't curse or swear the F word. It is such a nice letter, Maybe switch it too Fish, Frog, Frankenstein instead of the F ugly word

    • Chriswillman90 profile image
      Author

      Krzysztof Willman 2 years ago from Parlin, New Jersey

      Nice analogy, well at least no one can get hurt physically that is (hopefully). Appreciate it thank you.

    • cam8510 profile image

      Chris Mills 2 years ago from Maple City, Michigan

      My head can be like a war zone sometimes and the F bomb seems to get dropped by both sides pretty often. But I never admit to saying out loud. Thanks for an insightful and enjoyable hub.

    • Chriswillman90 profile image
      Author

      Krzysztof Willman 2 years ago from Parlin, New Jersey

      I have that problem too sometimes. I have bad cases of road rage at times so it can be pretty bad. It's human though and most people understand.

    • Christy Maria profile image

      Christy Maria 2 years ago

      This article was very interesting to read! Sometimes even I catch myself using the "f bomb" at extremely inappropriate times, Or I will use it like five times in two minutes. It is hard to catch the word before it comes out at times!

    • Peace2009 profile image

      Shane 2 years ago from New Zealand

      Totally agree Chris

    • Chriswillman90 profile image
      Author

      Krzysztof Willman 2 years ago from Parlin, New Jersey

      Agreed there's no such thing as perfection among mankind at least. I'm not a fan of people who think they're holier than thou because I find that hard to believe. Maybe I'm wrong, but I think everybody makes mistakes either through actions or words.

    • Peace2009 profile image

      Shane 2 years ago from New Zealand

      Thanks for this interesting article as it effects every person in the world & if they say that they don't do it then they must be perfect lol there is only one that's perfect.