ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Are we the last ones????

Updated on November 1, 2015

The elephant in the room is the legal ease


What was it we would hear

Only two things we must do in life; pay taxes and die. No so easy any more taxes are cumulated on the least able to pay. And dying is very subjective; who says we are dead, who actually determines death and then what.

There is so much more to dying at this time in our history than ever before. Read to learn more.

Time, space and people change, however not when survivors are in the question

Each of us is a member of a family. Oh, we may not want to claim that family or spend time with them; however, this is our family legally and hereditarily.

There are families who simply cannot stand separation and will count the days, weeks, months or more until they can all be together again. Sometimes we find that our family is a group of friends, just not blood relatives. No matter the dynamics of our family, they are our family. And at some point we begin to see the loss of some or all of the members of our family. The question becomes ‘What happens to us?’

Many times we are the caregivers of our family as we provide care in their declining years. And at other times we watch our friends losing members of their family and going through what will be an experience we must also go through. The problem is we will not go through it all the way or emotionally the same as our friends. Certainly, older people do pass on and at the same time so do younger people. Yes it is very hard to lose a family member, however it may be harder on those left behind when we pass away. Parents will tell us it is so against all normalcies in life to have a child pass prior to them. Many times parents do not recover from this kind of grief. Especially hard is a death not measured in illness but rather in accident, suicide or by another’s hand. There seems no time to say good-bye or tell them how much they are loved. This passing is always surrounded by ‘what if’ or ‘if only’. Most of us do not accept this type of passing well. This is not to say any passing is good, sometimes however, we can see a blessing to the passing. When pain is so great, when the body fails to support the person or the mind is no longer available to be of use.

What happens when we are the last to be alive in our family, whether blood or bonded family? Will we be missed by anyone, will there be any though to what we would like done to mark our place in life, community or our world? This is happening more and more often. There is little we can do if we are the last. Every person should have a plan, that is accessible to the person they trust most at this point. This plan can be a simple business arrangement or a trusted friend who will take direction from a letter and Will. Through most of our life so many of us do not think of this as an action that is requiring our attention right now. We see this as a ‘some day need’. Although in our world of today, 2015, 2016 and so on we see that what is happening in our world is simply a miniature of our earthly world. Certainly most of us will not see this as an immediate need, so I ask you to think of these three scenarios.

  1. If we are already in a blood family of smaller numbers or have found a need to move away from our blood family for business, work, preference or any other reason that does not keep us in contact frequently; there is a greater need than we may have considered. Suppose we are a very productive member of society or not and have either a health incident or accident. No one is aware of our family members or our values or beliefs. Who will step up for us?
  2. If we have a strong familial history of a genetic disease process, who will answer for us? There are so many new medical discoveries to help alleviate physical and mental disease processes today that have never been around prior to this time our history. Will we be able to assert for ourselves what kinds of treatment we desire? This is a very real possibility.
  3. If there is an accident of any sort which places us in harms way, without warning such that we can call our relative and say ‘Hey, I am going to this medical care facility and need you to be my Durable Medical Power of Attorney.’ This is extremely rare. We mortals simply do not have this insight. Certainly with a disease process we may have the time for such planning, however there are few who want to face their own mortality and bring someone in to the loop before the actual need. Primarily because we (the ailing one do not want to talk or be ask an astronomic amount of questions, even though we have invested them to do just that.

These situations and others we have probably heard about are all too real. The result of turning our back and saying ‘not me’ is not being realistic. At some point we will have to face all of this. There is time for many of us to act on a plan of clear guidance for our family. Begin the process today; make a list of five people we would trust to make “Our Decisions”. People willing to put their own beliefs aside and seek the answer in our belief system, in our hour of need. People we trust to be our closest friend, to keep our secrets and act in an hour of need no matter the inconvenience to them. This process can take some time, so chose wisely and with much forethought. Once made make an appointment with our legal representative to have this legally documented and sealed. Be sure that all documentation is made available to our medical provider and contained in our electronic medical records; EMRs are here to help and harm, use this tool to our advantage.

And although we are very secure in our medical providers, those darn little bugs do get into most electronic equipment at different times, be sure this information is updated regularly. Updates can be on an as needed basis as long as we are review them quarterly. If for any reason we are not checking this information regularly, then provide a copy to our provider at the time of each visit. Do not just assume the recording is taking place, when leaving that appointment ask again if administrative staff were able to update our person medical file.

This information is just as important as our Social Security Number being correct or our passport being ready to go. Today we are as much of a professional leader in our health care as our physician. While the physician may know all the correct treatments for our condition, if their hands are tied by a legal step we have not accomplished, the missed treatment comes back to our door. Today we need to be proactive in our medical care; introducing our advocate, who will answer for us in communication with our legal provider and medical provider.

One passing thought if for any reason this medical power of attorney is a reciprocal agreement with a spouse or significant other, a parent or friend who is aging at the same life plane as us. Or if this person has or has exhibited some dementia, whether they are well now or not, please make an alternate decision maker for our medical power of attorney. The reason is medical crisis tend to bring on a stress induced memory situation all on their own. There is nothing worse for everyone involved that to have the decision maker unable to understand or make the decisions necessary.

Why so much easier for that generation?



    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment
    • MGWriter profile imageAUTHOR

      Marsha Caldwell 

      3 years ago from Western Washington State

      Our population has evolved from being in a family community to being a friendly community. We have become a nomadic population. And as this was taking place we lost trust and were unable to keep up with the changes in technologies and health care.

      We must now run to keep up with these two parts of our lives least we find ourselves wondering who is making my health care decisions.

    • MGWriter profile imageAUTHOR

      Marsha Caldwell 

      3 years ago from Western Washington State

      This post subject is really too big for just one post. If done appropriately it would read more like a book. There is another post to follow shortly.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)