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Autism and heartbreak

Updated on September 22, 2010

Faith and hope

Painful day

The reality of the situation hit me all at once and I was not quite ready or prepared for it emotionally but deep down I knew exactly what I had to do. Its been years of heartache and frustration in dealing with our son's autism and we have sought the help of doctors, counselors, priests, psychologists, medical specialists, teachers, nurses, friends and other parents of autistic children hoping we would find a way to help our son make strides and be the best he can be.

The hardest part in coming to grips with the fact that your child is autistic is realizing that they will have many challenges and will not be the perfect child that every parent wishes for. I guess even children wish to have perfect parents and I admit I am far from perfect but I have a good heart and I will do everything in my power to help my son with whatever he needs.

Over the years we have seen our son grow and develop and we are very attentive to his needs and are there for him always. It has been a roller coaster ride with many highs and lows and each time we experience a proud moment with a teacher's praise of our son we also are brought down to reality with a report from school of problem behavior. It has been like this for many years and we had to seek parent support groups to help in trying to understand our son's behaviors and needs and obviously doctor's in trying to help our son correct those poor behaviors associated or brought about by his autism.

I don't know what it is that makes a child struggle with behavior or react inappropriately but I have learned that many autistic children do have difficulties relating to others and are prone to having meltdowns which I can relate to as our son has had his share of meltdowns through the years. It has been difficult to see our son go through it and it does take an emotional toll on the whole family.

As a parent you always want to see your child behave, listen and respect others and we all know that it starts at home. We have a parent counselor appointed by the school advise us on effective methods in helping our son listen and behave appropriately and she is very helpful and has given us constructive methods in doing so.

We have had our good days and our bad days but not a day like today. Today was like living a nightmare as I was unable to successfully get my son to listen or do his homework. He was very difficult today and it was like the whole day was a continuous meltdown. He was unable to control himself and he ran out of the house half dressed down the block as I chased after him to stop him. When he runs off we run the risk of losing him and it is very scary. He was really having a difficult day because he ran out of the house several times today and I knew after catching him that last time it was time he had to go to the hospital. I told my mother-in-law I would take him after visiting with a client and made sure she would be ok watching him.

Upon my arrival home I had learned that Matty had taken off again and that she had to enlist the help of neighbors to track him down and return him home safely. We were fortunate that our neighbors had found him and reunited him with us but at that moment I knew he had to be evaluated by a psychiatrist. This is very difficult but it is necessary as we are puzzeled with our son's recent behaviors and his total regression. I am very aware he needs help and I want to help him and am now relying on a psychiatric hospital to hopefully help him in dealing with whatever is troubling him. I know he has not accepted his grandfather's death last year and he lives in denial over it. I know he misses "Pop" but he does not wish to talk about it.

As I was preparing him for the emergency room I was very concerned for his welfare and his state of mind and knew I had to let him know that we were taking him to the hospital to get him the medical help that he needs and that we will be there to help him through the difficulties. It breaks my heart that my son has these emotional troubles and I know he can not help it and I realize I have to be very patient and understanding. I have been through this before with my mom and it has been a very difficult reality for me as I am very concerned for my son and his behaviors and feel he will require medication like my mom did. I am also realizing that I really have no choice and know that he needs to see a psychiatrist since he is having such difficulties in school and at home. Since he never wants to sleep it may also be necessary to have the psychiatrist prescribe some form of medication that will ease his mind and help him so he can sleep at night.

I am turning to God to help us with helping our son and I will pray for my son each and every day because he is what I live for. I am also putting my faith and trust in the doctors and psychiatrists to help get our son back. Please help our son.

Edward D. Iannielli III

You raise me up

I'm Already There by Lonestar

Footprints in the sand


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    • Dr irum profile image

      Dr irum 7 years ago

      Wonderful hub. i rate up this. .

    • bayoulady profile image

      bayoulady 7 years ago from Northern Louisiana,USA

      Just saw your other hub where you requested prayers for matty. So sorry this is happening in your family. For privacy reasons , I won't say who, but aspergers/autism is rendering havoc in someone I love very much. It is not my daughter.....though she has autism, her's is manageable.It is her brain injury(mental retardation because of it) that breaks my heart.

    • ediann profile image

      ediann 7 years ago


      Thank you for your kindness and compassion and your reassuring words. We are very appreciative and yes very lucky to have such wonderful neighbors who really care. Our son is steadily making progress on his road to recovery. All my best to you and your family!


    • CRMoneysaver profile image

      CRMoneysaver 7 years ago from Eastern Iowa


      You are in my prayers as you go through this. You are not alone. I hope that God will help those doctors find a way to help not just Matty but your whole family. Praise God for having such good neighbors who helped locate him.