Autism and hope
Autism in pictures
Wishing and Hoping
Every day can be a struggle for a child diagnosed with autism and for the parents it can be just as difficult. As a parent it is natural to want to see your child smile and feel good about themselves but when they are dealing with factors beyond their control it then becomes a constant battle. I am trying to understand what is going on in my son's head and sometimes I just don't know. We have been to doctors and specialists and we still feel that our son is not really showing the progress we would like to see. The days seem long and filled with tension and even having a day off feels like work. I have to sometimes escape this pain and turmoil we go through in trying to help our son and sometimes I get so upset I feel like crying and asking God why it has to be this way. Naturally living in such a complicated world I have my own worries, fear and anxiety and sometimes feel that I can not always help my son though I wish to be there for him every day. The hardest part of raising a child is separation and having an autistic child makes it more difficult. I am always hoping my son will have a positive day at school or in his social activities.
The one thing I know when I see my son is that he suffers from loneliness and struggles with self esteem and he seems to have behavioral difficulties. I have been called by the school on occasion to take him home early because he was having difficulty in behaving and listening to his teachers. It is hard to be available all the time with work commitments and assuring that someone will be home to watch him when something like this comes up unexpectedly. It also is a challenge to calm him when he is experiencing emotional upset. I am also becoming increasingly frustrated with all the medication he is on since we are seeing side effects from it and not seeing progress. My son used to be thin but now we are finding he is gaining weight and growing out of his clothes quite rapidly. We suspect it is the Risperdal that is causing it and we wonder if this is really helping him. We trust the doctors but find they are not always available and the rising costs of health care limit our options sometimes which cause other problems. We are already faced with major medical costs that we are paying over time and it seems we will never get a break from it. I only hope that things will improve and we will see our son start to make progress and start to feel better about things. It will be a long road and now that he is approaching his teenage years it seems to be more difficult in calming him down when he has meltdowns and as he is growing he is becoming stronger and still has the mind of a young child emotionally. The one thing I find with Asperger's syndrome is that our son is highly intelligent but has great difficulty with his emotions and with socialization.
Given my son's increasing needs I am looking for ways also to help generate an income stream that will hopefully bring in residual income that will go into a trust fund for my son that will be used to help him as he gets older because we do not know if he will be able to take care of himself and that is my biggest fear. My main purpose in writing is to try to bring focus to such an emotional condition as autism which has not only affected our son in his every day life but has effected all of us and we are all trying to help our son live a life that will be fulfilling and have promise. I want more than anything to see my son happy and able to do his best. That is all I can expect and hope for.
To me when I see my son express his frustration I want to help him through his difficulties and I sometimes look to God for answers and try to remember what my parents taught me about life and dealing with obstacles that come our way. We have to always be strong and have faith and truly believe that things will get better with time and I look forward to the day when I see my son start to feel better and make the progress we wish to see as his parents.I realize he has to take baby steps and it will take time and I am very patient and have the love in my heart to see him through his difficulties and stay by his side no matter what. I have to hold on to hope and wish for better days ahead for our son because we love him and want him to find peace, happiness, success and friendships in his life.
Edward D. Iannielli III