PAP SMEAR HUMOR: Back in the Stirrups Again...
The stirrups of dread - that moment we fear,
We strip down and sheet up awaiting our smear.
Goosebumps arise beneath sharp crackling paper,
Shapeless reminder of cold steel scraper!
Two prior appointments - both broken with reason,
First oversleeping - then basketball season!
So hard to prepare for - this sort of exam,
No books to distract, no reason to cram!
Too soon the door opens - a harried physician,
Come out from behind there - assume the position!
Slide down toward me, further still - now RELAX??
Right now you'd trade your right arm for some slacks!
Just let your knees open dear, take a deep breath,
Remind yourself shame is more pleasant than death!
Ignoring the odds never proves to be smart,
Cancer spreads quickly - one needs a head start!
This single day only - we have dreamed of being male,
The proper equipment? A minor detail!
Courage and strength are borne deep in one's soul,
Not in 2 wrinkled knackers at the end of a pole!
The menfolk will one day learn well of our stress,
When a sheet for protection is all they possess!
How will we not giggle, when clothes they must doff,
Turn their heads to the left - give the Doc a nice cough!
In closing I beg - disregard the sarcasm,
Without it this author would go into spasm!
The plea is dead serious - the message is pure,