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PAP SMEAR HUMOR: Back in the Stirrups Again...

Updated on April 27, 2013
Back in the Stirrups Again!
Back in the Stirrups Again! | Source

The stirrups of dread - that moment we fear,

We strip down and sheet up awaiting our smear.

Goosebumps arise beneath sharp crackling paper,

Shapeless reminder of cold steel scraper!


Two prior appointments - both broken with reason,

First oversleeping - then basketball season!

So hard to prepare for - this sort of exam,

No books to distract, no reason to cram!

RELAX!!
RELAX!! | Source


Too soon the door opens - a harried physician,

Come out from behind there - assume the position!

Slide down toward me, further still - now RELAX??

Right now you'd trade your right arm for some slacks!


Just let your knees open dear, take a deep breath,

Remind yourself shame is more pleasant than death!

Ignoring the odds never proves to be smart,

Cancer spreads quickly - one needs a head start!

Not Our Favorite Day!
Not Our Favorite Day! | Source
Cancer Spreads Quickly
Cancer Spreads Quickly | Source


This single day only - we have dreamed of being male,

The proper equipment? A minor detail!

Courage and strength are borne deep in one's soul,

Not in 2 wrinkled knackers at the end of a pole!


The menfolk will one day learn well of our stress,

When a sheet for protection is all they possess!

How will we not giggle, when clothes they must doff,

Turn their heads to the left - give the Doc a nice cough!


In closing I beg - disregard the sarcasm,

Without it this author would go into spasm!

The plea is dead serious - the message is pure,

Early detection - better chance of a cure!


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    • UnnamedHarald profile image

      David Hunt 5 years ago from Cedar Rapids, Iowa

      Awesome and funny. Am I allowed to comment, being of the male persuasion?

    • BigEd5857 profile image

      BigEd5857 5 years ago

      Very creative way to get the message acrosd. You are so freakin creative. Thanjs for sharing you with us.

    • Kristen Haynie profile image

      Kristen Haynie 5 years ago from Modesto, CA

      This is great, a perfect description of what we must go through! Thank you for sharing this, it's quite amusing!

    • pagesvoice profile image

      Dennis L. Page 5 years ago from New York/Pennsylvania border

      Voted up and useful. You certainly know all too well how to put a humorous spin on a very serious condition. During a recent hospitalization I had a tube in my nose, running all the way down to my stomach, oxygen was strapped to my nostrils, my left and right arms filled with more IVs than I could count and a catheter shoved up my "Johnson." When I related my discomfort to my personal family doctor he gleefully replied that in medical school they learned that where there is an orifice there will soon be a tube. What a funny guy...ha ha ha.

    • FyrFytr234 profile image

      FyrFytr234 5 years ago

      Comment? Glad I'm a man! (cough, cough). Clever and humorous way to get a serious message across. Nicely done.

    • profile image

      Ray 5 years ago

      Please remember us males have to endure the imfamous prostrate exam and the practitioner that performs such exams always seems to have fingers the size of fists ..LOL

      Still in all glad I'm male just the same !

    • Wrath Warbone profile image

      Terry Chestnutt 5 years ago from Cleveland, Ohio

      Scary! Vincent Price step aside!

    • profile image

      Chris 5 years ago

      I don't know anything about it but I'll take a look.

    • profile image

      lovedoctor926 5 years ago

      You have a very clever imagination. I couldn't help but giggle. turn the head to the left and give the doc a nice cough. LOL. Vote up awesome! Your writing style is impressive.

    • BigEd5857 profile image

      BigEd5857 5 years ago

      *across

      * Thanks

    • ImKarn23 profile image
      Author

      Karen Silverman 5 years ago

      @Unnamedharald: Awesome you liked it! Guess who just got back from a doctors appointment today? Lol. You're allowed to comment any time you want - as long as it's in total and absolute agreement! lol. Come again, Harald!

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 5 years ago

      @Biged5857: Always a please, Biged! Hey? Why don't you put a picture up? Undercover spy? Two heads? Horrible accident? It's ok...we're a very accepting group here! lol..ps..your correction below is hilarious - we writers are such sticklers for words, aren't we?

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 5 years ago

      @KristenHaynie: Ah, Kristen - my first woman (lol)! So glad you concur that it basically just...sucks! Men don't get their 'fun' until they're like 40..or 50. They get off so easy - except when it comes to catheters and kidney stones, of course! LOL

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 5 years ago

      @Pagesvoice: O, D - you know i can't keep my hand off the hot stove! Maybe i enjoy the pain? lol. I have read some of your medical ordeal and am SO relieved you are doing well now! I would dearly miss my brotha' from anotha' motha' - and anotha' fatha'...lol. Your Dr. sounds like quite the comical sadist!

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 5 years ago

      @FyrFytr234: I concur with part A, and thank you for part B! Nuff said..

    • BigEd5857 profile image

      BigEd5857 5 years ago

      Will put up a pic Leslie. I don't want to appear undercover.

    • profile image

      martin 5 years ago

      on it

    • Eiddwen profile image

      Eiddwen 5 years ago from Wales

      Oh yes my friend wonderful and unique what a gem ;I love it.

      Here's to so many more hubs for us both to share on here.

      Enjoy your Easter weekend.

      Eddy.

    • profile image

      Tony 5 years ago

      Beautiful. I love a good rhyming piece - well done!

    • profile image

      Jessica 5 years ago

      I will recite this when I go!! LOL Great job, L!

    • profile image

      Sueswan 5 years ago

      Hi Leslie

      In 2006 I had to see a gynecologist who was associated with the hospital where I later had a Uterine Artery Embolization for the removal of fibroids.

      He looked about 90 and he was shaky. As I looked up at the ceiling and prayed,what did I see but a picture of polar bears looking at me. lol

      Very funny hub that delivers such a crucial message.

      "Early detection - better chance of a cure"

      Voted up up and away!

      Have a great day. :)

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Oh, but the sarcasm is one of your best traits...why would I ignore it? Wonderful message, wonderful poem, funny and poignant!

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 5 years ago

      @Eiddwen: You are too sweet, Eddy! No..really - you are! Have a wonderful easter!

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 5 years ago

      @Sueswan: The sarcasm hurts - the cancer kills! Thanks for taking the time, Sueswan!

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 5 years ago

      @Billybuc: lol..weren't we just discussing this - and how medication might help? lol..love when you stop in, Billy! I know how busy you are saving the world! Just trying to help in some small way...lol

    • ahorseback profile image

      ahorseback 5 years ago

      ImKarn , I have to say , I have never ever wished to be a woman , poor baby ! Although come to think of it I HAVE wished to be a doctor!....lol.....:-}

    • Perspycacious profile image

      Demas W Jasper 5 years ago from Today's America and The World Beyond

      We are what we are, until we aren't.

    • MartieCoetser profile image

      Martie Coetser 5 years ago from South Africa

      Oh, I really hate this test! The coldness of that stainless steel tongue gives me the creeps... I tend to postpone...

      ImKarn, you have said it all :)) Voted up and well-written, but freaky... :)

    • cleaner3 profile image

      cleaner3 5 years ago from Pueblo, Colorado

      great message about such asubject that is very real and dangerous. on the bright side , loved your rhyme.

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 5 years ago

      @Martiecoetser: Oh, my, Martie - you nailed me cold. I'm exactly like my poem - always up, somewhat well-written - and quite freaky! lol...thanks for noticing! Please come again!

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 5 years ago

      ..for if you are not the sexiest woman at the Hub then I have no problem getting up in the morning ....thinking about you. lake erie timeless .....

    • Rosemay50 profile image

      Rosemary Sadler 5 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

      A very creative and humourous way to get an extremely important message across. We stand a far better chance with early detection.

      Great hub and VOTING UP

      Have a safe Easter weekend

    • ImKarn23 profile image
      Author

      Karen Silverman 5 years ago

      @ahorseback: LOL..my uncle is a obgyn in boston. he was the best looking guy in town. i don't quite...get it, personally! lol. Thanks for taking time from writing your amazing poetry to 'set a bit' with me!

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 5 years ago

      @Cleaner3: Lol..i ain't got a dime, all i do well is rhyme! Your support is mucho 'preciated, Mr. Clean!

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 5 years ago

      @epigramman: You, sir - are incorrigible! I like that in a man! lol

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 5 years ago

      @Rosemay50: So nice to see you, Rosemay! So glad you enjoyed the poem AND got the gist! Happy Easter to you, dear!

    • profile image

      Henda 5 years ago

      Another winner... don't know where it's all coming from, but keep it up (oops shouldn't encourage you in that direction)

    • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

      Gypsy Rose Lee 5 years ago from Riga, Latvia

      Voted up and funny. Always hated this and will continue to grind my teeth. If I remember correctly one time I even chipped a tooth I was such a grinder. lol Hope you have a Happy Easter Leslie and keep on writing. Love your poems. Straight and to the point.

    • A K Turner profile image

      Joseph A K Turner 5 years ago from West Yorkshire

      HAHA, knew it was going to be a good one before i clicked on the link, brilliant fun, with a serious undertone! loved it.

    • profile image

      KatrineDalMonte 5 years ago

      It's an interesting subject for a poem, I would have never thought of that, hat down. You have managed to get a very important message across to all women. This test can save lives and that's all that matters. At least here In England they are offered by women nurses :-)

    • CMerritt profile image

      Chris Merritt 5 years ago from Pendleton, Indiana

      I will say, I am glad to be a man....I would be to big a wuss to go through half the stuff women have to go through.....this is excellent, funny and a great message.

      Chris

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 5 years ago

      @AKTurner: LOL..so glad you enjoyed, AK! Your support is muchos appreciated!

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 5 years ago

      @Katrinedalmonte: Thank you, Katrine. My gf was about to cancer her 3rd appt with her obgy. Let's just say she didn't! lol

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 5 years ago

      @CMerritt: Hey, Chris! Always fun when you drop in! Thanks for the kind words - and the respect for womankind! Spread it around some, would ya! lol

    • Vinaya Ghimire profile image

      Vinaya Ghimire 5 years ago from Nepal

      It always feels good to read your hubs. You are an amazing poet. Your imagery is wonderful.

    • profile image

      tankermone 5 years ago

      Funny! I was in the clinic the other day, helping my brother, and as we're waiting, I check one of the drawers on the bench, and there, waiting for your exam, were boatloads of those spreaders! I quickly closed the drawer when I realized what they were used for, so good luck with your exam results!

    • sheilanewton profile image

      sheilanewton 5 years ago from North Shields, UK

      Excellent. Somebody recently wrote a poem about paps. That was funny too. How do we always manage to laugh at the nasties in our lives??? Voted up.

    • Deborah Brooks profile image

      Deborah Brooks Langford 5 years ago from Brownsville,TX

      well you are so right early detection is right. what a great hub and so truthful... actually I loved it.. as I giggle.. but seriously you are so right. it might be embarrassing but it is necessary.. thank you my friend for this.

      voted up

      Debbie

      p.s. I was looking for you on Facebook on music and cinema I was told you went to bed..sorry i missed you..I was in the mood to party.. LOL

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 5 years ago

      @Vinayaghimire: Hi, V! Always so happy to see you! We go waaaay back - all the way to triond! Thanks for taking the time!

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 5 years ago

      @Tankermone: I would pay to know what sex YOU are! LOL. Glad you giggled - and got it! Please - come again!

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 5 years ago

      @Sheilanewton: Sheila, my friend! Apparently - paps is where it's at! Everyone's rhyming about it..lol. Twitter at you later, girlfriend!

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 5 years ago

      @DeborahBrooks: As usual, Deb - i was just a minute too late for the party! lol I got back, and - the place was desserted! Where did everybody go?? Love you tons!

    • BRIAN SLATER profile image

      Brian Slater 5 years ago from Nottingham Uk

      Hi, thought I'd left a comment but that must have been on fb, it must be my age! this bought tears to my eyes, laughter at the relief of being a man and then I remembered all the times my wife went and I made light of it by saying something, stop fussing woman, it's only a check up! I must get her to read this, voted up astonishingly brilliant:)

    • b. Malin profile image

      b. Malin 5 years ago

      Right on Girlfriend, Right on. Very Clever and Creative, a good way to get an Important message across.

    • AudreyHowitt profile image

      Audrey Howitt 5 years ago from California

      Loved this! What a great write about a necessary demon!

    • carolinemd21 profile image

      Caroline Marie 5 years ago from Close to Heaven

      Hi Leslie this was great. LOL I don't know how you come up with them. :)

    • anndavis25 profile image

      anndavis25 5 years ago from Clearwater, Fl.

      Fun way to look at the dreaded examination! Witty and factual. Ann

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 5 years ago

      @Brianslater: LOL..so glad you enjoyed, sir! Hope your much better half giggles! Your support is appreciated, always, Brian!

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 5 years ago

      @Bmalin: lol..if i can you to laugh - i'm happy! I think you're a veritable riot, my friend! Please - come again!

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 5 years ago

      @Audreyhowitt: Glad you enjoyed, Audrey - you're more than halfway through the poetry challenge? Counting the days? I would be..lol

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 5 years ago

      @Carolinemd21: Welcome to the hell that is my mind! You're welcome back anytime! lol

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 5 years ago

      @Anndavis25: Ann, you're such a sweetie - reading my hubs! Hope you're smiling!

    • xstatic profile image

      Jim Higgins 4 years ago from Eugene, Oregon

      Sorry I missed this! It is funny and entertaining as well. But even men's physicals are no fun unless you can tell a funny story like this. Up!

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Xstatic: with all due respect X? wahhhwahhhwahhh - we girls ain't buyin' it! Next time we'll play switch so you can see exactly what you don't have to cry about..LOL..(kisses)

    • xstatic profile image

      Jim Higgins 4 years ago from Eugene, Oregon

      Awwww, no sympathy at all, even a colonoscopy? That one is mutual prublem.

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Xstatic: LOL...(and NO!)

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 4 years ago from Southern Illinois

      HaHaHa, Where have you been? I got a kick out of your humor, and i FELT every command..Hee

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Alwaysexploring: i'm just happy we found each other! Lol..

    • DanaTeresa profile image

      Dana Strang 4 years ago from Ohio

      This is great. You draw attention to a very important yet uncomfortables ubject in a way that makes it readable and still delivers your message.

      I had a scare not too long agao. Abnormal test results and each one worse than the next. Thank goodness my body has started healing. Now my doc and I know to watch me closely.

      If you gals think a pap is bad,try a colposcopy and cerivical biopsy. After that you'll be asking for the pap. At least I got to see my cervix on TV. She's lovely :)

      Thanks again for this. Voted up etc.

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @DanaTeresa: LOL...love your 'tude, girl! So happy to hear about your lovely cervix doing so well! Keep it up! Dunno if you've read my recent hub on cancer, but - my cousin is enduring treatment for stage IV colon/liver cancer as we speak and - it's fucking gruesome!

    • xstatic profile image

      Jim Higgins 4 years ago from Eugene, Oregon

      I told you that colonoscopy was bad, Imkarn, see?

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Xstatic: Oh, pish tosh, X! LOL...go for one every year - be awake when they spread your cheeks - THEN - we'll talk, k? K! lol..

    • PegCole17 profile image

      Peg Cole 4 years ago from Dallas, Texas

      Crackly paper beneath us indeed. Slide closer now? Never. Clever rhyme to make an important point about prevention.

    • profile image

      Justsilvie 4 years ago

      Very well done! Felt every move. Also an excellent Reminder. Vote up and shared.

    • Natashalh profile image

      Natasha 4 years ago from Hawaii

      So timely that someone would share this today. I just had my annual fun time yesterday! And then they talk and try to have a conversation with you as if everything is normal. Uh - everything is not normal! There are multiple people and lights and metal things and all sorts of not normal things!

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @PegCol17: It's gotta be done - might as well laugh about it, eh? Options are...boring..lol

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Justsilvie: Hi, Silvie, so nice to 'meet' you!

      i HATE when people share my stuff!! (You probably aren't familiar with my politically incorrect sarcastic streak yet, eh?)..

      lol...

    • tobusiness profile image

      Jo Alexis-Hagues 4 years ago from Bedfordshire, U.K

      So sorry I took so long to get here, this is simply priceless, what a brilliantly funny way to pass on a serious message. Still laughing, definitely sharing.

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Natashalh: Lol..sooo agreed - nothing normal about it - except, hopefully - THE RESULTS! Take a peek at my Mammogram poem if you ever get a moment ...

      i think it might give you a giggle!

      Thanks for taking the time, Natashalh...most appreciated!

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Tobusiness: Better late than never, my friend! Hope you enjoyed enough to come again!

    • blondey profile image

      Rosemary Amrhein 4 years ago from Boston, MA

      Is that what they do it for, ovarian cancer? LOL.

    • Pamela99 profile image

      Pamela Oglesby 4 years ago from United States

      This poem is so funny and of course, I also hate the exam. I do believe in its importance though. The tone of the poem was great and it got the point across very well. Cervical cancer is what they are looking for (in answer to blondey) and when found in a PAP smear it is 100 percent treatable.

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Pamela99: It's either laugh or cry, eh? I prefer to laugh and spread em instead of crying and dying!

    • blondey profile image

      Rosemary Amrhein 4 years ago from Boston, MA

      Very very funny and witty! Awesome!!

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Blondey: Thank you Blondey! Just making the best of a messy situation..(god help me..lol)

    • rcrumple profile image

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      The fear, the dread, the agony, the humor... I'm trying to figure out what you didn't include here! You ladies don't have it easy, but then again, "Prostrate oh prostrate, an exam is this date, like an I.R.S audit, long fingers we hate." Great Job!

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Rcrumple: What i didn't include? Well, sir - i believe the only thing i didn't include was a step by step video..lol..

      And..o, yeah - that prostrate 'Thingie with Fingie'?

      We - the women of the world have but one thing to say about that - and it would go something like this:

      "Yawn...whateva' or...'quit yo whining'...lol

      Gotta spread your legs from the age of 12?? Got all eyes on yo' ya-ya?? Try cold steel instead of warm fingie..

      Need i go on..lol

    • A.A. Zavala profile image

      Augustine A Zavala 4 years ago from Texas

      Hate to burst your bubble, but I was placed in stirrups once because of a kidneystone. So, being a man won't save you like I thought it would for me. Cold steel you say? Hmm....

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @AAZavala: Sigh...i get kidney stones too - AND - ONCE in stirrups does not qualify you to burst anyone's bubble - SIR!

      lol

    • btrbell profile image

      Randi Benlulu 4 years ago from Mesa, AZ

      Great way to express a not so fun topic! thank you for sharing.. up, awesome and sharing

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Btrbell: Love when you drop in Randy - and even more so when you agree with me! Haha..

      Thanks for sharing, my friend - i'm a believer in doing the same!

    • schoolgirlforreal profile image

      schoolgirlforreal 4 years ago from USA

      I could care less about cancer....but then again....it's just part of the physical and it's always fun being paid attention to, I rather like the dentist as well, love anything in my mouth. :P Oh geez. I just posted this, I only meant to think it!!!! bahahahah

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Schoolgirlforreal: OMG i love it! Your comment has me giggling - still!

      I think we're going to get along just fine, my friend - and i promise i won't tell yo mama what you said!

      LOL

      Your lack of filters coincides perfectly with mine - perhaps you'd care to read the poem: Foreplay: The Ins and The Outs?

      OMG...haha

    • schoolgirlforreal profile image

      schoolgirlforreal 4 years ago from USA

      ;) LOL! Thank you very much, I did read it lol

      I'm so so glad to have met your acquaintace,

      R

    • blondey profile image

      Rosemary Amrhein 4 years ago from Boston, MA

      Very funny stuff, love love love it!

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Schoolgirlforreal: I adore a woman with a sense of humor - i really do! If we can't laugh at ourselves - who ya gonna kill, eh?

      May as well just laugh...

      I'm happy to have met you too dear!

    • schoolgirlforreal profile image

      schoolgirlforreal 4 years ago from USA

      :)))

    • ImKarn23 profile image
      Author

      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Blondey: lol..thanks for a short but sweet comment! I love love love it!

    • RealHousewife profile image

      Kelly Umphenour 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      You are a riot - but heck you have the message right!

      I just wonder how the world would change if men had to go for the annual expose? LOL

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Realhousewife: HI YOU! Miss you when you don't come around for a minute or two, Kell!...LOL

      did you say annual exposure - or, um - anal?

      LOL..

      (i'm sorry - i've been dealing with some political jerk offs lately and what's left of my filters is HISTORY! lol)

    • blondey profile image

      Rosemary Amrhein 4 years ago from Boston, MA

      This is a great hub and it's great to let your filter go, or else how are you going to have any fun?

      I'm done with the nun act the serious conservative act it doesn't pay does it, to pretend to be something your not one can have confidence even if a little filterless these days being a proper lady isn't required- freedom! but all in all you can have a mouth like a sailor and still want a monogomous relationship. yes I think so. Well. nuff said. be back later. fun thread here.

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Blondey: You go, girl! Be yourself or go home!

      I'm definitely all for monogamy..for myself, at least - AND swear like a sailor..lol

      You're welcome here anytime, dear - the welcome mat is always out!

    • arb profile image

      arb 4 years ago from oregon

      As we have illustrated leslie, some essentials are best viewed with a sense of humor. Though deadly serious, what an eight hour job on the other end! Who signs up for such work?

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Arb: Who signs up for such work? Well, my uncle for one! Lol..honestly - he was probably one of the best looking men in the city - and he chose to become an obgyn in private practice just outside of boston mass...Yep..that's what he looks at allllllllllll day...(GROAN...Grimace...)

      (giggle..)

    • Louisa Rogers profile image

      Louisa Rogers 4 years ago from Eureka, California and Guanajuato, Mexico

      Leslie-- oh, another wonderful one from you. Glad your photo was of a woman doctor. Have you had a mammogram yet? Just you wait. I see another verse on its way!!

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @LouisaRogers: Lol..i've had several thank you for caring! LOL...i actually wrote this the day after i had one - i had a lump under my arm - and you know the routine...i was fine, thankfully...

      now - had i not been fine - THAT would have been another verse - or 10...

      Thanks for taking the time to drop by, Louisa - much appreciated!

    • tillsontitan profile image

      Mary Craig 4 years ago from New York

      Only you, dear girl, could write about this subject in this way and totally pull it off! Giggling and cringing, then hoping and praying.

      My 88 year old mother-in-law was diagnosed with ovarian cancer three months ago....a rude awakening. Job well done IM.

      Voted all the way across and shared.

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 4 years ago from Central Florida

      So well put and so very important! At least they were kind enough to trade cold steel for plastic. Now if they could just do something about the humiliation.............

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Tillsontitan: Very sad to hear about your mother in law...on the other hand - no one in my family makes it anywhere near 88 - that's awesome!

      Thanks for sharing me, my friend!

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Bravewarrior: 'Plastic humiliation'? Hmmm...i could work with it...LOL..

      Love ya, sweet Shauna - you know im just a-jokin' with ya!

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      lovedoctor926 4 years ago

      Goosebumps arise beneath sharp crackling paper... your imagination running wild.. you're a riot!

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Lovedoctor926: You know what they say, my friend - it's either laugh - or slit your wrists...(something along those lines, anyway...lol) love yaxx

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      lovedoctor926 4 years ago

      You're so funny! Happy Friday. hugs xxxx

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Leslie.....This is a doozy! I wonder if the girl in the photo realizes her pic in the saddle, is making the rounds?? LOL! Cute socks, anyway.

    • ahorseback profile image

      ahorseback 4 years ago

      I think the girl in the picture is Lelie or so Dr. Ahorseback says anyway! Luv ya leslie !

    • ALUR profile image

      ALUR 4 years ago from USA

      What can I say? How poetic! So true, so cold...so annoying esp the wait. I now bring my own stash of magazines, do a few yoga poses in the waiting room and well, munchies until my doc graces me. Then, close the eyes and allow the probing which sadly is more action than I have had in a while...lol

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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Lovedoctor926: OMG - FRIDAY??? OK - i knew i was behind in responding - but - this is ridiculous! Please forgive me - there's no excuse - even the holidays!

      Thankfully - we've chatted between then and now!

      Happy New Year, Doc! Let's make it a great one!

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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Fpherj48: Paula - i don't know how these comments...got away from me..lol..it's as if they just fell off the bottom of the page!

      My apologizes! btw - i wrote this the minute i got back from my day in the stirrups...lol

      Happy New Year, dear friend! I wish you all good things...

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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Ahorseback: Lol...funny - you're not the first to mention that...

      luv ya too, cowboy..

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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Alur: Yoga poses in the waiting room? Hmmmm....never thought of that...lol..

      OMG...i can't comment on your last sentence - because - i'm laughing too hard...

      Thanks for the great comment, my friend..

    • Deborah Brooks profile image

      Deborah Brooks Langford 4 years ago from Brownsville,TX

      I know I have read this before but what a great hub it is.. I couldn't help but go back...

      I know all of women can relate.. lol

      I am sharing and pinning and twittering and googling and face booking..lol

      wooo that's a lot

      Have a happy and safe new year

      if you are like me you will stay home.

      My wild days a long gone

      Debbie

    • Victoria Lynn profile image

      Victoria Lynn 4 years ago from Arkansas, USA

      Yes, a very important exam. This is darn funny. I enjoyed it so much! Ya know, though, I dread the dentist more than this yearly exam. It lasts only a few minutes, while the dentist goes on and on. Still, it is invasive. haha. Loved this, really!

    • LaThing profile image

      LaThing 4 years ago from From a World Within, USA

      AH MAN!! Now every Tom, Dick and Harry knows what we have to go through!! Couldn't you just keep it a secret!?! ROFL, LOL.... this was HILARIOUS, Leslie....... You described everything to a tee! And love the ending message! Absolutely fantastic! :)

      Sharing and everything......

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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @DeborahBrooks: Lol...i kinda like this one too - i wrote it 'THE DAY OF'...i remember it clearly - especially when i re-read this! Lol..

      I'm not budging from my warm, safe, and sane coccoon! I've always been old - even when i was young...lol..

      sad, boring...but true!

      Love you, my friend - and wish you every happiness in the coming year and always!

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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @VictoriaLynn: Ahhh...i hear you, sista! Dentists make me so anxious - i can't even write about them...LOL..

      glad you giggled...just a fun little reminder...can't hurt..(the reminder, i mean..lol)

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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @LaThing: Lol..Welcome, La - as in 'Ooo, la, la', of course! so glad you enjoyed this little sojourn into the dark and mysterious pap smear! Lol..

      Happiest of New Years, my friend - be safe, be warm, and be healthy!

    • bizarrett81 profile image

      bizarrett81 4 years ago from Maine

      What a spot on, humorous poem about the most awkward of doctor's visits. You have left me smiling and reminging myself that I am happy that they have changed it to every three years instead of two!

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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Bizarrett81: Hello, and welcome! So glad you enjoyed my day in the stirrups - that makes ONE of us..LOL..

      please - come again!

      And - just cause they say it's now every 3 years - are you required to follow those guidelines? I'm in canada and i get a...shmear every year...

      LOL..

    • bizarrett81 profile image

      bizarrett81 4 years ago from Maine

      That's what they just told me, I went because its been a year and they seemed irritated to see me. Like I was happy to be there LOL

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Bizarrett81: Grrrrrrrr@them being irritated...

      GRRRRRR....like it's not uncomfortable enough...

    • bizarrett81 profile image

      bizarrett81 4 years ago from Maine

      I know, its worse then the dentist trying to have a converstation with his hand in your mouth... except hands are somewhere far more awkward while they ask how things are going...

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Bizarrett81: Loll...i just had a VERY nasty thought! Can you imagine - when the doc is um, um...doing his/her thing down there - chatting away as if this were the most natural thing in the world - that THOSE lips replied?

      (omg..i said it was nasty...((hanging head in shame...))..

      (and still giggling..)

    • bizarrett81 profile image

      bizarrett81 4 years ago from Maine

      Hahaha thank you for laugh. You are too funny!

      Maybe if that happened, I woulnd't have to go anymore...

    • Barbara Kay profile image

      Barbara Kay Badder 4 years ago from USA

      This is a good one. I always dread the entire procedure too. This made me smile.

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @BarbaraKay: That's the motto of the poem, my friend - 'fake it till ya make it - smile through the shame...

      it's worth it!

      Please - come again!

    • Radcliff profile image

      Liz Davis 4 years ago from Hudson, FL

      Hahah! Love it! My two-years-overdue appointment is in two weeks. I can totally relate.

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Radcliff: Hellooooo, and - welcome to my humble hub-corner!

      Now that we've done with the formalities - GET YOUR ASS INTO THOSE STIRRUPS GIRLFRIEND!

      There, i've told you how i really feel..

      get used to it..

      LOL..xx

    • Radcliff profile image

      Liz Davis 4 years ago from Hudson, FL

      Thank you, I will.

      And I'll be thinking of you THE ENTIRE TIME!

      See how special you are?

      LOL

    • CloudExplorer profile image

      Mike Pugh 4 years ago from New York City

      5 thumbs up and this one is going high up onto all of my Cloud Sharing networks. Super awesome word play here Leslie, and so fun, it read so smoothly, very pleasant and respectfully put as well even though it was such a touchy subject. Nice one!

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Cloudexplorer: When YOU share me, Mike - I know i'm SOMEONE! LOL

      What i mean is - thank you!

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image

      Rolly A Chabot 4 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi Leslie... what more can be said to you girls... thanks for looking after things for yourselves... we love you...

      Hugs from Alberta

    • wildove5 profile image

      wildove5 4 years ago from Cumberland, R.I.

      That was awesome!!! Great message complete with humor! I see a mammagram poem in your future perhaps? Voted up!

    • healthylife2 profile image

      Healthy Life 4 years ago from Connecticut, USA

      Love that you know how to tackle a very serious subject with humor so people will take the time to read it and hopefully act. It's easy to run away from these tests because they are not fun but cancer treatment is much more time consuming and even less fun. I think you are one of the most creative here on HP! Voted up!

    • JayeWisdom profile image

      Jaye Denman 4 years ago from Deep South, USA

      Leslie....Your special brand of humor lends a light touch to a serious message, making it more palatable. It's so easy to put off "until tomorrow" those uncomfortable medical tests we dread, but continuing to postpone them could lead, as you said, to worse discomfort, serious illness, even death that could be avoided if cancer is caught in the early stage.

      Thanks for making us laugh while also making us think!

      Voted Up, Useful, Funny and Awesome (as usual)...Shared

      Jaye

    • peoplepower73 profile image

      Mike Russo 4 years ago from Placentia California

      Imkarn23: Wow, what a talent! Are you going to do one on having a colonoscopy? The spell checker wouldn't even check the word. It must be as frightened as I was. LMAOROTF. Voting up, funny, and sharing.

    • vandynegl profile image

      vandynegl 4 years ago from Ohio Valley

      Oh, what a blast! I will never forget getting one exam and the

      doctor saying to the nurse, "come here....look at this!". Mortifying, but necessary!

    • Lisa Luv profile image

      Lisa J Warner 4 years ago from Conneticut, USA

      GOOD ONE!

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Vandynegl: OY@#*#*$#@!!! That is horrifically humorous - in a really embarrassing way!

      Thanks for dropping by and - thanks for sharing...

      LOL

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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Healthylife: That is a beautiful compliment my friend - i am humbled and honored! Thank you!

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Wildove5: Lol...a Mammo poem you say? Welllll, it just so happens...

      https://hubpages.com/health/Mammogram-Time-to-SQUE...

      LOL...

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Rolly: And - we girls adore you, Rolly - you can BET on it! You're an amazingly special man!

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Jaye: Good morning dear! My motto has always been (or at least - has been since i 'broke') - to laugh as much as possible - at everything and anything!

      If not AT the moment - then at least before - or after..

      The options are unacceptable to me...

      Thanks for visiting, commenting, and sharing - all very much appreciated!

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Peoplepower: Hmmmmm....now that you put the idea in my head....omg...

      (somebody - STOP ME!)

      haha

      so good to see you in my little hub-corner P!

    • Suzie HQ profile image

      Suzanne Ridgeway 4 years ago from Dublin, Ireland

      Doctor Leslie I presume? !!!

      LOL, I am still laughing my a** off at this! You SO nailed this ordeal us females have to endure, thankfully not that friggin often! We hate it and may dread it but if it saves our lives, then it is worth it and this is take on it is BRILL, important to be able to see the humor in things but yet not make light of the issue - "Early Detection - better chance of a cure"

      Great stuff again and the hits just keep on rolling . . . . !!!

      Up, Funny, Interesting, Awesome, heck . . .all of them, shared and pinned!

      Phew! I need to put my feet up!! LOL

    • tillsontitan profile image

      Mary Craig 4 years ago from New York

      No one can say it just the way that you do

      Everyone should read it, thing one and thing two

      For knowing and seeing the things that we know

      Will help to protect us from things that may grow!

      You're the best! I wonder if they could make your poem into a poster to hang in doctor's offices?

      Voted up, useful, funny, and interesting.

    • Kathryn Stratford profile image

      Kathryn 4 years ago from Manchester, Connecticut

      Very clever, and a good message. Not a pleasant type of doctor visit, but necessary for our health. At least it's quick!

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Suzie: LOL..i am giggling with pleasure that you enjoyed this, Suzie! I wrote this right after MY ordeal..sigh..

      i remember sitting behind that curtain with that damn CURTAIN that i was wearing took on a life of it's own and tried to smother me...snap, crackle pop..

      LOL...

      So appreciate the share! Thank you..

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Mary: Good afternoon, m'Lady! Always a pleasure when you honor us with your presence! NO - SERIOUSLY!

      i love when you visit!

      lol@a poster!

      thanks for the votes!

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @KathrynStratford: Hello, and - welcome! The anticipation is always worse than the actual event, me thinks - altho - it's close..

      lol

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      lovedoctor926 4 years ago

      "Without it this author would go into spasm!" lol. voted up++++

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Marlene: Glad you giggled, dear..

    • watergeek profile image

      watergeek 3 years ago

      I've actually had a GOOD experience with being examined . . . one . . . thirty years ago, but I still remember it. In an office in Johannesburg, en route to the US, I met a gynecologist who understood the true meaning of service. He was kind, he chatted me up, listened carefully when I explained what was happening, massaged my stomach a little, then used a warm metal speculum to open me up. A warm one! What a huge difference that made! It slipped in with no resistence and the examination was hugely successful.

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 3 years ago

      Hi, Watergeek! Wow, that is an amazing experience - especially considering it was a man, as well! Awesome for him!!

      and you!

      and thanks for taking the time, altho - i'm no longer writing on the hub!

    • Crystal Tatum profile image

      Crystal Tatum 3 years ago from Georgia

      Brilliant! I don't know what else to say. Voting up and everything else!

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 3 years ago

      LOL..

      Listen doll, i don't write here anymore...

      Please come visit me...https://www.facebook.com/KLSilverAuthor

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