- Mental Health»
My Fight with Alcohol: Learning from my Life Mistakes
Crossroads of Life: The wrong path could be dangerous
Finding myself in a great depression like state of mind was not going so well for me. I couldn’t handle it any longer. Alcohol freed my soul to the point of no return towards reality. I was alone, but friendly. I was scared, but on top of the world. Days were going by faster and faster, as insomnia set in. I lived for a couple years in this situation and experienced some first-rate and awful times from what I can remember. I was also involved in a few vehicle accidents within this time. One of the accidents was with the help of alcohol. Thankfully I was the only one involved in that accident.
Alcohol was a factor:
I was out with my friend and feeling unusual. I called to my friend, “Let’s go to my place and finish out the night. I will grab some beer on the way.” I was on my way home in my Jeep Wrangler when I drove around a construction road barrier. Later I woke up in the hospital. I was diagnosed with a fractured larynx and esophagus. I received stitches in my chin and lost a lot of hair to my forehead.
Here is what I remember now. I passed the construction barrier thinking that the road was still open to local residents and I was going to be able to drive through the construction. My jeep hit the edge of the asphalt and I flew in the air. My jeep smacked the edge of an island in the center of a large creek bed and my foot was floored on the gas. The bridge was out. My Jeep went another twenty feet and stopped dead in the mud. When the Jeep’s suspension bottomed out, my body flew forward with my neck striking and bending the steering wheel in half and my head hitting the windshield. Luckily, my friend was driving behind me and had stopped short. He called for me. No answer. He stumbled down the muddy slope and came to my aid. As he pulled me from the crash, he lost a shoe in the mud. Trying to hurry and get me help, he left his shoe go. He drove me to the hospital to get me treatment. I was there for 5 days.
Where do I go from here: The only way is up, then back down.
This was a low point in my life. I lost my only means of transportation; drinking more and more trying to find myself at the bottom of the bottle. I even found myself living back home with my mom after losing all my possessions. At the very least, I was able to keep my job. I was put on Short Term Disability for about a month until my voice recovered. I was down and out. I could not believe my life. It couldn’t get any worse, or could it?
I bought a vehicle for cheap from a friend and drove it for about three months before returning to where I was three months prior. This time I didn’t have any damage to myself, but I did lose another vehicle. I went around a corner too fast and lost control of my car sliding off the road into a ditch. Drinking was part of the accident and I found out the hard way of how bad a DUI can be. Witnesses called the police and they showed up quick. They gave me sobriety tests and I failed miserably. “I will take the blood test” I said. The policeman was nice enough to take me to the hospital for the test and then to my home. What a great night before Thanksgiving.
Finding out a few months later, I was just shy of three times the legal limit. Fined with more than $3000, my life was in shambles and I had to do something about it. Through the ARD system and many classes of AA meetings, I became a living person of society again. I stopped drinking for twelve weeks and something drastic happened. I started reading and writing more trying to keep my mind busy. I took walks and photos of just about anything that seemed like art. I was able to get rides back and forth to work and I saved money. Things were looking up without the alcohol. Is this supposed to happen?
Sobriety Actually Says it All
Things were moving along again. I was sober for a total of 5 months, no license, but living. I found so many hobbies and began to hang out with my old friends. I met a girl and had the time of my life. Things were going my way. I learned from my experiences of tough times, but my friends said they might come back if I decided to drink again. I laughed, because I know when I look back on my life of those horrible times, I didn’t want any more to do with it. Right now I have a loving wife, a crazy puppy (she will always be a puppy), a fat cat, and a beautiful home. I couldn’t be any happier. And you know what they say, you don’t know what you have until you lost it. I don’t want to lose any of this. I tell my wife every day how fortunate I am to have found her. To say I have received all this from my bad times with alcohol would not be a pleasant thing to say. But I will say I have what I have through bad experiences and knowing that life cannot keep moving unless I cleaned up. I now have more good times without the alcohol than when I had with it. Maybe it’s because I can remember everything now.
I look back on my life realizing a couple things. It’s good to be alive and well and life does feel more realistic without the aid of alcohol. I am not stuck in a fantasy world and my thoughts are clear. But the most important thing is alcohol is the route to most evils. Find yourself without it. You may surprise yourself to what you find. I found happiness and glory without it. I even have more money to travel and do things with my family instead of taking vacation time to go to the bar.
Live life to the fullest, just don’t fill yourself with alcohol.
Future Looks Bright with a Couple Shady Spots
Us as humans tend to think too much about too much. Let your mind concentrate on what you need and go with it. Most of the time your first instinct is the right one. Understanding your life and the future that it holds is starting to believe in what you can and cannot accomplish. I say cannot for one reason: Alcohol. You cannot accomplish much if you drown yourself in liquid headaches. Look at the positives and stay along the path of greatness, following the light to each new door and beginning. It's okay to fall into the shady spots every now and again; it's how we learn where greatness lies. Just know that you have the power to decide anything.
We will prevail and overcome the weaknesses that we endure to ourselves.