- Mental Health
Bad habits cost money, time, energy and relationships. What is the solution?
Are you having trouble stopping a bad habit? It's fine. I have been there and done that. I am still doing it for other habits, so I am not a Greek God. We are human beings.
My habit is anger. Anger is fine because it is a normal human emotion, but when you get mad at someone in the wrong place and at the wrong time, it can be damaging and irreparable. To add on top, it can be intense to the point I want to knock down the tall tree in front of my house. You might as well call it "Bruce Lee's Fury". The teachings I had picked up was from the harm that had been done to my relationship ties. After you lose a good relationship, you realize what you could have held on to. The presence of my parents and siblings gave me the affection of heaven because they are the only ones who would attend to my concerns through thick and thin. I am sure you can relate to that right?
This habit can have a toll on many aspects of your life. It can cost you money, time, energy, and relationships. Now how is that possible? I will explain.
Cost of Habit
Do you have a had habit that cost you the above things?
Lets analyze the tolls
- To analyze bad habits, the severity can be determined by the energy, time, money and grace you will have to put in to reverse the effects. These tolls will not be seen in equal amounts in every habit. The relationship toll increases with the severity of the habit. Lets make a comparison between not being confident and being angry. Anger affects relationship more than a lack of confidence.
- Now when you notice a bad habit, ask yourself: what does it cost you?
- I gave an example above of my anger. I know how difficult it can be for anyone to manage anger in tough times. It costs time and energy because you have to put in effort into having conversations that will patch the rift in the relationship. Of course, the relationship toll is self-explanatory. If you explode like a giant volcano, then people will be repulsed.
- I know you probably are eager to know the solutions, but wait for a couple of minutes. First learn the effect of bad habits on relationships and in the work place.
Bad habits can harm relationships.
Think of a habit that can harm relationships. One obvious one is lying, which is a habit that can not only cost relationships, but also time, energy and money.
The main damage with this habit happens to relationships because relationships depend on trust. Lying is a poison to trust. In turn, it can sever the relationship tie. You might need to become a construction worker who needs to make repairs to fix the damages in the relationship. It will take 10 great-trusted interactions to counteract one lie-filled interaction. Sometimes, it can take more interactions depending on the severity of the lie. Those repairs will take you time and energy. The other individual who you lied to will only give you a chance when you have built enough trust. Trust-building occurs over time. Energy can be wasted when you deal with resistance from the other person. You can mentally get involved to a point you will give up.
And the funny thing is you have to deal with it. Consider this as a conditioning process. From what I learned from psychology, this is called positive punishment. If you lied, you will be scolded. You need to embrace this mentality if you want to fix things. Be indifferent to any resistance because you have caused things. You have to understand two other things: the past is the past, and move on to the future.
Implementation of the following process
- You have to realize that you are lying. Bring that into your consciousness. (For example, if I just lied right now, then say ok I lied.)
- Make a plan of action to cut that habit. (Eg. Next you tell the person you did it. Or you do not tell him or her and repeat this habit. At first, it might be difficult, but with practice it gets easier, so keep applying yourself. Next time if you come across trying to lie, then tell yourself: don't lie.)
- Find out why were you trying to lie. Remember some sort of life pressure makes you lie, but you have no excuses. You want to be a diamond because diamonds are only made under pressure.
- Now just to let you know, you can use this for any bad habit that causes harm to a great relationship. Let's start off from the beginning with a different habit.
Fixing the relationship:
Out of this above section, what am I going to implement right away today?
How can bad habits affect your career life?
At work, do not do anything that will make you lose your job. Pretty much any bad habit that slows down the company's progression should be stopped. They will try to cut out the company’s weakest link. You are the weakest link. It costs them time and money since they are the money generators. That goes the same for you too. It will cost you time and money too. The time you spend looking for jobs costs money because you still have to live your life. Living requires this necessity called money. Money is needed for food, living expenses and transportation. The underlying conclusion is time=money. You can still use the big solution (below section) to resolve career-life issues.
An example of a bad habit at the work place is having a bad attitude. Now nobody wants to deal with a person with a bad attitude because it disturbs people. When people are not in the right state of mind, they cannot do their job efficiently. Employers look at this negative energy and comprehend that this is hurting their company. They want somebody who has great attitude and will push their vision of where they want to be in the future, so you need to be aware of your emotions, thoughts and actions. Do not worry! I got you.There are ways you can maintain your internals state or attitude.
Bad habits in the work place.
Do you have bad habits in the work place?
The Big Solution: How do you keep clean ?
You have to build a consistency of habit to not spend time and energy focusing on a bad habit that can cost you. Now breaking a habit can take time. I used to think it was 21 days, but it can take more than 2 months to change a habit. The exact time depends on how much the habit is a concern for you, and how long you have been doing it. You have to remember concern matters because it relies on your thinking of the habit. The longer the period is, the more deeply rooted the habit is in your subconscious. Your subconscious is like a pond of quicksand. You keep sinking in it and you do not know what’s inside of it. You need to help pull yourself out.
To build this consistency, you have to do the following:
1. You have to acknowledge the habit.
2. Ask yourself what it means to you. Understand it inside out. Until you do not do this part, trying to push yourself to quit will be difficult.
3. Give confidence to yourself that you can do it. Say that you are actually the opposite.
4. Have a plan of action ready. Also, you have to catch your habit multiple times as annoying as that may seem. Why would you not want to do this? This is for your future. Everything that you condition yourself on will add up at the end. It will create a good positive momentum because this habit will no longer waste time.
I will give an example of my bad habit: shyness. This might be an inclination to feel worried or awkward in social interactions, but I see it as a bad habit for me. I acknowledge it. What does this habit mean to me? This habit does not allow me to reach my full potential to make use of opportunities that can help me in monetization. I use commands for myself: I will talk to that person. I can do it. This is how I exhibit my confidence. I, in actuality, tell myself that I am opposite to shy. My plan of action is to not think about my shyness and just be an extrovert.
What kind of bad habit do you have?
Questions you should ask yourself.
Let's discuss some things in the comment section below.
1.What are some of your techniques to break bad habits?
2. List some things that bad habits can cause. Try listing at least 5 things.
© 2014 Satvinder S. Sihra