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Be What You Want to Attract: Using the Law of Attraction

Updated on June 20, 2016

Inspiration From an Unlikely Source

It's really interesting to me how when I need a good dose of inspiration that it usually turns up in the most unlikely of places. About a month ago I was sifting through profiles on an online dating site when I saw one that really made me sit up and take notice. It wasn't the pictures (although they are very attractive), it was the words and the message. Since then I've read and reread that profile about a hundred times, and each time I take away something new.

I've also been doing a lot of reading on the Law of Attraction, which basically states that "like attracts like". I like to use the phrase "be what you want to attract" because it denotes that in order to pull the things that mean the most towards you, you have to put in a little work on your end.

So when I came across that profile, it grabbed my attention because it listed explicitly all the values that I treasure in a potential mate, but it also made me think about the areas in which I needed to do a little work myself.

What is the Law of Attraction?

The Law of Attraction is the theory that we create our own reality by our thoughts and actions. I've written many articles on the power of positive thinking, that it creates a self-fulfilling prophecy; if you have an open, positive mindset, you will attract positive things and if you have a closed, negative mindset, you attract negative things.

People who see the world as having limitless possibilities naturally draw unto themselves better fortune, wealth, relationships and happiness as opposed to those who are more narrow-minded and see the world as having only a few fixed pathways.

Lessons From an Online Profile

That one profile taught me ten lessons about the traits that are most important to me in a potential mate, as well as made me take a look at the areas of my life that needed improvement so that I can attract the kind of mate that I most desire. Here are the ten things I learned:

1. Character and authenticity matter. Being a person of integrity means always doing the right thing, even when no one is looking. A person of integrity is honest and trustworthy, which attracts others who are honest and trustworthy. Living authentically means being true to yourself and your values, and not wavering from them in the face of the public opinion of the day.
2. Don't settle for less than you deserve. Too many times people (myself included) settle for mediocrity; maybe that behavior is driven by loneliness or a ticking biological clock, but whatever the reason, the result is always a poor, unhealthy relationship. Your happiness is worth waiting for someone who is as worthy of you as you are of them.
3. It's ok to be a strong woman; not every princess needs to be rescued. We come from patriarchal society in which women are viewed as being more delicate and more in need of a man's protection from the outside world. Women who are strong, warrior-princess types are often seen as a challenge to a man's masculinity. However, there are those men who see those types of women not as a threat, but as someone who can stand by them side-by-side.
4. Love what you do and make a positive difference in the world. If you don't love what you do for a living, it sucks the joy right out of you. Being unhappy in your vocation makes you a slave to the job and makes you resent the reasons why you work. Life is too short to be miserable doing things you hate, so whatever it takes to get there, be courageous enough to work at something deeply meaningful and satisfying. When you see that that possibility exists, doors will open for you.
5. Enjoy everything life has to offer- the beauty of nature, the soul-stirring sound of music, the amazing diversity of world cultures. There is more to life than what is on TV and in the tabloids. A decade from now, what is popular today will by then be a distant memory and won't even matter. What matters the most are the timeless things, like beauty, music and culture because they nourish the soul at its most basic level. The world has so much to offer, so spend time soaking it up. The more beauty you absorb, the more beauty you project, which will in turn, draw more beauty to you.
6. Take care of yourself so that you can be an active participant of life instead of just a spectator. To enjoy life's riches, like the relationships of family and friends, enjoying nature or things that bring you happiness, you need energy. Energy comes from eating healthy foods, staying active and taking care of yourself. If you don't make the effort to have good health, then you are a burden to yourself and you limit your chances for enjoying life. Visualize being healthy and happy, and you will get there.
7. Read good books and never stop learning. Every day there is an opportunity to learn something new for those who seek it out. When you strive to learn new things, you attract knowledge that can help you live life to the fullest.
8. Have faith in things beyond what you can see with your own two eyes. So often people limit themselves to believing only in that which they can see, hear, smell, taste and touch. When you expand your mind to accommodate the possibility that spiritual forces exist and are at work, you will attract and receive enlightenment and wisdom.
9. Be compassionate, kind and non-judgmental for everyone is fighting their own battle daily. Life today is all about me, me, me -- what I need, what I want, and when I want it. That narrow-minded focus on yourself only limits your ability to attract blessings. When you put yourself in someone else's shoes and reach out with compassion and empathy, you open up a whole world of blessings that you never knew existed.
10. Do things that you are passionate about, and use that passion to make a difference in a positive way. Whatever it is that you can find to be passionate about, do it, and use it to spread positive energy. If you're passionate about playing golf, teach the game to a child. If you're passionate about art, use it to bring joy to another person. Passion for something is best served when shared with others, and in turn, you will attract enriching relationships.

Making the Law Work for You

Just learning the lessons from that profile is only one part of the equation in using the Law of Attraction. In order to make the law work for you so that you can attract the things you desire, you have to put in some effort. There are three basic steps to making the law work for you:

  • First understand what it is that you truly want. Being generic, as in "I want a new job" isn't going to cut it. You have to dig deeply within yourself to find what it is that you most truly desire. Otherwise, it's like searching for a needle in a haystack. What that online dating profile showed me was what I wanted to find in a mate in a very specific manner.
  • Second, you have to truly believe without any shadow of a doubt that what you deeply and truly want will manifest. It might not be immediate, but when you can clearly visualize yourself achieving that outcome, it will happen one way or another. Put up a reminder board where you can see your goals whenever that little seed of doubt starts to creep in.
  • Finally you have to be open to receiving your heart's desire when the opportunity presents itself. When the time is right, you will know it in your gut that the outcome you've been waiting for is ready for you to receive it's rich blessings.


I've spent a lot of time thinking about those words from that profile. I really took them to heart and used them to examine my own life to see areas in which I might need improvement. My goal for the past several months has been to focus on being more positive and this profile was just the thing I needed to hear to keep me going on that path. In fact, it made me feel like those words were everything I've been looking for but couldn't form into a conscious thought.

Going back to the concept of the Law of Attraction, in order to attract this kind of person, these are the attributes I need to strengthen in myself. I don't know if I'll ever get the chance to meet the guy behind the words. But even if I never meet him in person, those words left an indelible impression on both my mind and heart because they opened my eyes to exactly what kind of person that I need and want to attract.


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